Heroes of the Faith

While I'm thinking about folks I appreciate, I'd like to add these pictures I took of my uncles, Mervin Troyer and Wayne King. I visited both of these gentlemen this last week at the retirement community they live in and enjoyed it immensely. Mervin is holding a "corn dropper" implement that his father made (I believe he said it was his father) many years ago. He explained how it worked, and it was interesting for me to hear about that and ponder just how how innovative people were back then. It would have taken a long time for people to plant even an acre of corn, but this tool would have helped with that chore. It hangs in Mervin's room, a reminder of an era long ago. I think Mervin can best be described as a person of a profound, but simple faith in the God he serves. He has a humble, servant attitude and a work ethic that puts me to shame-he is always busy as much as as he can physically be - at almost 91 years old.

And Wayne is my mother's youngest brother. After a lifetime of ministry as pastor of several Mennonite churches, he and his lovely wife have recently moved to a community not too far from here. It has been wonderful for me and my siblings to re-establish contact with them and visit occasionally. I appreciate the life of faith Wayne and Clara live each day, and of their willingness to share that with us, his sister's family. He is a craftsman-he makes pens and pencils out of wood as well as other things which grace his and Clara's comfortable home.

Thank you to both of you for your attitudes of thanksgiving and for your continuing faith-walk in circumstances of physical frailty. You are much appreciated!

An Example of True Love

I know most of you reading this blog have read the story of Loren and Florence Gerber, however, I could not let this day pass by without mentioning it in this blog. I am attaching a link to that story about them as printed in the Wichita Eagle on Christmas Day. Loren was a first cousin to my dad, and thus, a first cousin once removed to me. His daughter Marilyn and I grew up together at the Pleasant Valley Church in Harper, however, I have not seen her in many, many years. If you have not read this story, please do so.

http://www.kansas.com/news/story/1112336.html

New Word

I learned a new word yesterday. It's "sprezzatura". Have you heard of this word? It's Italian in origin, and it is defined as, "A certain nonchalance, so as to conceal all art and make whatever one does appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it." Other nuances of this word are, that it is the ability to "display an easy facility in accomplishing difficult actions which hides the conscious effort that went into them", and it also has been described as, "a form of defensive irony, the ability to disguise what one really desires, feels, thinks, means, or intends behind a mask of apparent reticence or nonchalance."

Some examples of this are: college students who obtain perfect grades and seemingly never study, politicians who have rehearsed every "ad lib" comment they make before debates, but yet the comments roll right off their tongues looking completely on the spur of the moment, and the butler who serves his master, keeping confidences but also his opinions about the goings on in the household to himself.

My friend who introduced me to this word says that it's a goal in his life-to not only do his job with grace and make it appear effortless, but also to look unruffled and unfazed in front of coworkers and administration.

I've never thought about this quality before, much less whether or not I'd like to possess it. I have had some say to me in the past, "You seem to play the piano so easily", but this is almost always followed by a remark about the years of practice and effort that it takes. When I watch craftsmen - for example, I recently saw a video about a master knife maker that pours his sweat into handtooling kitchen knives, and all the work that goes into that - yet, when he pounds the layers of steel together and shapes the handles, it almost looks casual. After watching that, I find that I have a new appreciation for those folks who work with their hands and make it look easy.

I have uncles, who following a long line of people in my family, fashion things from wood - and I so much appreciate the craftsmanship that this requires, but one thing I don't see as the grateful recipient is all the projects that didn't turn out well, all the frustration and effort and cutting pieces wrong, and making mistakes, and all that which goes into learning how to be a craftsman. As I think about it, it makes these things even more dear to me - they are the product from someone who seemingly effortlessly made them, but yet, I know the sweat and tears, so to speak, that went into the creating of them. (That reminds me Wayne, I need to come up over Christmas break, which starts next Monday, and get that last set of pens from you. I will email you about that!)

Thank you, craftsmen and craftswomen, for all the practice, effort, mistakes, and learning that went into helping you do your jobs so well! Our world is certainly more beautiful in every way because of that.

Comfort Ye

Dan, Rebekah and I attended the presentation of Handel's Messiah, at the First United Methodist Church in downtown Wichita Sunday afternoon. I have seen Messiah several times, once driving to Lindsborg to Bethany College, where this oratorio has been performed every year on Easter Sunday since 1882. I love this work and I look forward to hearing it every year that I can go.

After the Overture, the first piece is "Comfort Ye", a a tenor recitation, followed immediately by the tenor continuing with "Every Valley". The chorus then sings "And the Glory of the Lord". Isaiah 40:1-5 is the basis for these first 3 compositions. Verse 1 is especially poignant - "Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem and proclaim to her that her hard service has been completed, that her sin has been paid for." And in verse 5 - "And the glory of the Lord will be revealed, and all mankind together will see it. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken." I don't read these words without hearing that stirring music along with it.

Doing a good job

Brrr! The wind's blowing and winter is here. I'm sitting here with my coffee cup, trying to get warm. No snow, just a biting wind that seems to go right through ya. I hear people say, it's because we aren't "used" to cold. That may be true but I think I'd do better with a gradual decline into winter frostiness instead of a dip in the ice water all at once.

This has been one of my busiest weeks ever at school - you would think it was the end of the year. I've put in some late hours at school and working from home the last two weeks. I'm in my 4th year in the district and Tuesday, I got the second what they call "Attaboy" email since I started. A downtown person was in attendance at a recent staffing and sent an email to the principal and another downtown person with a nice compliment in it for me. That sort of thing is just rare at my job, and I would venture to say, that's true in a lot of work people do. There's folks all over the place who are doing their jobs well because they gain personal satisfaction from that, or, they feel they have a moral obligation to do so, and no one recognizes their efforts. It has made me more cognizant of the fact that I COULD recognize that in others if I would just look. The server that refills my coffee cup at the right time, and brings my food hot, the sacker that works to make sure my bread isn't crushed and handles the eggs carefully, the grocery checker who is pleasant and cordial when sliding my items over the scanner (I almost said "rings me up". THAT'S an old expression which dates me), the man who volunteers to vaccuum the sanctuary at our church, the pleasant man at the dry cleaners who made sure he understood what I wanted and appeared to value me as a customer, my co-workers who exhibit a degree of professionalism in teaching that makes me proud to work where I do, the people at my vet office who really seem to care about Lydia and want to serve her needs, the list goes on. There are those that would say, "That's what we pay them to do! We PAY them to provide a service for us." True, but HOW the service is provided is as important and sometimes more so than the service itself.

All of my kids and kid in laws and my spouse work in retail or have in the past. I'm proud of Josh when I hear people from my school tell me as a co-worker did last week: "I figured out which person at Dillons is your son, because when he was helpful, I thought, not only does this kid look like Marianne, but he's nice too, so I looked at his name tag and asked him who he was..."

This time of year is stressful and crazy, and I bet an encouraging word from you would help someone else have a better day. As you go about in the next few days, be aware of those who do a good job and say something to them. It will be an encouragement they won't soon forget.

Offensive clotheslines

Did you see this in the news, that a woman is in big trouble in her community for hanging her laundry outside to dry? This is happening in Peraksie Pennsylvania. Although there are no town laws preventing her from doing so, a city official called her and asked her to quit, and, she's received notes from neighbors telling her they do not want to see her underwear flapping around on the clothesline. For the record, she doesn't hang her underwear out, she says.

The article says, she is "one of a growing number of Americans demanding the right to dry laundry on clotheslines despite local rules and a culture that frowns on it." Did you know there are 5 states that prohibit it all together? That would be Florida, Utah, Maine, Vermont, and Colorado. Another 5 states are considering legislation to outlaw it. A lawyer representing homeowners associations in Philly says that it is an "aesthetic" issue. He says, "In most communites, people don't want to see everybody else's laundry".

I gotta say that I am both amused and amazed. We live in a society that freely uses sexual images to sell everything from cars to beer to laundry detergent, and where anyone with a few clicks of a mouse button can view any sort of pornographic image they desire, no matter what. For our viewing pleasure on TV, there is conversation, and explicit language, and visual images which a person with any sense of morality would blush at. The innnocent bystander eating a meal or walking down the street is assaulted by private content of cell phone conversations. Kids freely use street language which you thought was only applicable in armed forces boot camps. Ugly billboards dot our landscape, and the carving away of our forests and pollution of our rivers and oceans is ongoing. Smokestacks belching black clouds and odors hang over our cities. Ground water contamination and nuclear waste disposal issues are ever with us.

We have people sleeping under bridges here in Wichita, and I would assume, in Pennsylvania as well.

And there are those who are offended at the sight of a shirt or a pair of jeans, or a towel, or bedsheets hanging on a clothesline in the sun. I'm...wordless.

Aging Gracefully

It's Sunday night and I'm getting ready for another work week. What has happened to the weekend? I have enough coming up this week to make me want to bury my head in the covers and not get up, but alas, can't do that until I'm retired. And even then-I know some retired people who are as busy as they were when they were working full time. I'm glad when I see that people can do that.

Speaking of retirement etc., there was a lunch today for the "Senior Adults" in our church. And I was invited! I was not able to attend as we already had lunch plans, but I gotta tell you that I do not consider myself a senior citizen - even although the wafts of good things to eat were very tantalizing coming from the Fellowship Hall of our church. I was told that for the purposes of the "senior adult" lunches, if you're over 50 you can come, but I still can't do it. I'll be 55 next week and I still think I'm a kid!

And, I'm still young enough to like humor such as this:

Bumper Stickers View of Life

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, and then used against you.

Despite the cost of living, it's still popular.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

All good things in moderation-including moderation.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it includes a free trip around the sun.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Forget about world peace, envision using your turn signal.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.

Ever stop to think and then forget to start again?

I doubt, therefore, I might be.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges?

One Year Later

One year ago this evening while getting out of the car at my brother's house, I saw a scraggly, smelly, skinny, patchy-haired 4 legged creature with its nose down the grate near the curb I had pulled up to. Getting out of the car, I motioned toward the animal and said, "Who's that?" "Oh," he replied, "it's been hanging around here the last couple of days. I dunno where it came from." I paused to look at the dog and was a little repulsed by the sight. "Man", I thought. "That is one ugly mutt." I turned to walk away, but looked back. The dog had laid down by the grate in the yard and I walked toward it, curious. As I approached, she looked at me with sad dark eyes, the skin hanging loosely from her muzzle and gave a small twitch of her tail. She looked like she had just had pups, however her ribs were showing and obviously she was not in good nutritional health.

"She's awful. Let's put her in your backyard and I'll take her to the Humane Society tomorrow." I put a rope around her neck and tugged, and she followed me hesitantly, a little unsure if she could trust me. While we were waiting for dinner to be ready, I hopped in the car, and my husband looked at me incredulously. I asked him if he wanted to come along to get some dog food and he emphatically said, are you NUTS????

When I got back the dog gulped both cans of food down and drank a bowlful of water, then stood at the back patio door, her scrawny face peering through the glass. We ignored her while we ate, and I promised to return the next morning to take her away.

The next day my daughter and I returned. As we put her in the car we discussed what all could be wrong with her, and how much money it would take to fix her. I didn't even know what vet I could take her to on a Saturday. She offered her vet services, and wouldn't you know it, they were open. Wouldn't you know it, they could see her and evaluate her. We took her in, armed with a generous brother's financial aid and some money of my own.

I decided on the way over there that if she had heartworms, I was going to put her down. If she had mange, I wouldn't treat her. She had neither of those maladies, but a lot of other issues. Skin infection, mites, fleas, crusted over skin sores, seriously underweight, ear infection in both ears, a couple of small skin growths, broken and cracked teeth-the list grew. The vet saw signs of abuse and severe maltreatment.

I brought her home and I named her Lydia. I spent money on her I shouldn't have, but one year later, she is beautiful to me. She's gained 20 pounds. She's ornery. She's smart and she's just what I needed. She's learned to trust me, and does so implicitly. She's a member of my family, and she gets on the couch when I'm not home, but that's okay with me. I know that someday I'll face the heartbreak of laying her to rest-but you just do that when you take the risk to love and care for someone other than yourself.

In a very ordinary way, I rescued someone who needed me. How very much more does God do the same for us! How very much more does He love us, care for us, want us to trust Him implicitly, and yes, He longs for a relationship with us even when we're unlovable, stinky, hairless, and have all kinds of problems requiring all kinds of help. We're in the gutter, trying to survive on our own, and here He comes - He sees you and me as his children, with potential we don't even know we've got. Lessons from Lydia-I learn 'em every day. And I'm grateful for her and for Jay - I'm not sure why he thought I needed her, but as usual, he was right. Thanks brother, for your help a year ago-what did you see in that mangy scraggly animal that you thought I might need? One of these days you'll be learning your own lessons from someone God brings into your life-and I'll have the privilege of watching you do that.

You deserve a donut today

I was getting gas at the QT the other day when I noticed a sign in the parking lot. The sign featured a glazed donut, with these words: "Life is too short to eat oatmeal." What do you think about that? I, personally, was taken aback and a little, oh, not offended, but who do these people think they are? They are basically saying, you're going to die anyway, and maybe soon, so just enjoy yourself and have a fat and sugar-laden pastry while you're at it. Don't eat wholesome "boring" cooked oats. You deserve more! You deserve to get all the gusto you can get! After all, donuts can bring happiness and pleasure. You're going to work hard today-reward yourself!

Speaking of health issues, here's some things you don't want to hear during surgery:

"Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!"

"Don't worry. I think it's sharp enough."

"That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?"

"Ya know, there's big money in kidneys and this guy's got two healthy ones..."

"Hand me that...uh...thing-a-ma-jig."

"What's this doing in here?"

"There go the lights again."

And, here's some medical definitions:

Benign: What you be after you be eight.
Artery: The study of paintings.
Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria.
Dilate: To live long.
Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work.
Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.
Urine: Opposite of you're out.
Colic: A sheep dog.
Outpatient: A person who has fainted.

Expand your horizons

Two websites rapidly becoming my favorites and I check them every day:

www.earthshots.org

http://videos.komando.com

Earthshots is a photograph featured every day of places around the earth I'll never get to see-today's is a shot taken in the Swiss Alps. You can view photos of previous months by activating the slideshow feature. Clicking on photo details in the far right corner of the pic will tell you where it was taken, and it's interesting to read the comments about the picture from other photographers. There's something about it that transports me to another place for just a minute.

Videos.komando is a daily video website. I've seen the most interesting things on here-the four fingered pianist from Korea, the ant colony that someone poured cement into and then excavated it to see how large it was (it was gi-normous), on Sunday the 18th, it's featured a couple from west Texas who live literally in the middle of nowhere much like the pioneers did, with no running water, electricity, or phone. Today, this website features 3 videos about 3 different kinds of reptiles. They are all short, less than 3 minutes. The first one is about a Pebble Toad, the second one is about a lizard that walks on water, and the 3rd is about a gecko which is so small it could drown in a drop of rain, but doesn't because...we'll, you'd have to watch it.

Although these websites don't intend to do this in their purpose, for me, they point to a creative master Designer-a purposeful Composer, Author and Sustainer of even the smallest details of the universe-how vast and wonderful and awesome is the earth we've been given to live our lives on and - how much we don't know about what's all around us - it is mind boggling. Think about the Swiss Alps on your way to work or wherever you go-think about the Pebble Toad who survives by rolling into a hard ball and falling down a mountainside away from it's pursuer, think about the 4 fingered pianist who can play the piano in an amazing display of grit, courage, and determination, and wonder at it all.

Sunday Reflections

Here it is, October 18, 2009. Since my last posting, which was a video and no writing (as someone pointed out to me), I've sat here several times, trying to think of what words to use to communicate to you unfortunate people who check this blog, but I've not had much success. There's a lot going on in my head, but it's not coming out my fingertips onto the keyboard. I'm troubled but I'm not sure what it's about. I'm lonely, but I don't know why. I'm sad at times, but then, on Friday when I saw the sun for the first time in about a week, I cannot tell you how my spirit lifted as I drove to work. It was like a tonic to the soul.

I'm dissatisfied with things and am making changes, but see that I need to make a lot more. The ministry I have at church is puzzling to me, and is lacking in some way, but I don't know what. Due to some extraordinary situations right now, my job is making me weary in body and spirit. I feel sorta like I would like to draw the curtains and stay at home for awhile. It's hard to describe.

So that's that. Not a lot here, I know. But we'll see what happens this week.

Also today, I'm thinking of those in my extended family who are facing serious illness and life changes. God be with you, Pilgrim on the Way, as you step into the unknown. Your faith is extraordinary, your life is an encouragement to me. Blessings to you- from your niece.

Acapella Jazz Choir

Enjoyed the video below very much and thought you might like it too. It's an acapella jazz choir. A little more than six minutes long, it will give you a mental vacation break.

African thunderstorm

African thunderstorm

Shared via AddThis

Wednesday Encouragement

Several days ago, I blogged about anxiety. A friend of mine who faithfully reads my blog sent me an email in response so I asked her if I could post some of what she said and she agreed.

"Trust is a learned thing, and the process of learning involves being willing to just step off a cliff everytime God calls, believe He will NEVER fail you, for He ALWAYS keeps His promises or He would not be God. If He sometimes allows the worst to happen, it is for our learning on some level, as a consequence of sin, as a wake-up call, sometimes to teach us patience, and sometimes for many other reasons that only He knows. He is the greatest parent we could ever have. However, in our arrogance we don't always recognize this.

I think the most difficult thing for all of us to realize is that life truly isn't about us, because we all go about thinking we are really something, but in truth, we are absolutely NOTHING without God. How arrogant we are, for we could not take our next breath were it not for God allowing us to do so. God is the author of this drama called life. He wrote the beginning and He wrote the ending, and the REAL play does not truly begin until our physical death. In the meantime, we are all in this temporary play (school) trying to pass all the tests so we can graduate. I am learning that THE MOST important thing in our life is our relationship with God and we don't even come close to realizing the true awesomeness of this. We tend to treat God far, far, too casually, sort of like Joe Smith down the street.

I have spent 71 years in school and guess what? I am realizing more and more than I am still in kindergarten. ...There is always hope and God is incredibly patient. The truth is...we are all sick and seeking the Physician. We are ill and seeking a cure. The {Orthodox Church}... is the inn and hospital in which every sick and distressed person can be cured, and God knew the depth of my illness and where I needed to be, and I was finally willing to check myself in...The way truly is narrow and difficult and a real struggle sometimes to overcome ourselves, but it is the only way. The choice is in our attitude as we confront whatever God allows to appear in our lives, for the plan is His."

I think her response is worthy of posting. I also want to note here that there is a manifestation of a "clinical" level of anxiety which many folks struggle with on a daily basis, and I am certainly not opposed in any way to the diagnosis and treatment of this disorder-I myself have in the past have taken medication for that purpose. I hope her words, however, are an encouragement to you as we think about God's willingness to reach us in our distress and illnesses, and in His inifinite patience, to bring us abundant life now, and in the future. Blessings to you readers, whatever "befalls" you today.

"Be Thou, my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou, my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee, and Thou with me Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son,
Thou in my dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my Battle-shield, sword for my fight,
Be Thou my dignity, Thou my delight.
Thou my soul's shelter, Thou my high tower.
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance, now and always;
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won!
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's Son!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O ruler of all."

Be Thou My Vision. Translated from Old Irish to English by Mary Bryne in 1905. Versified by Eleanor Hull in 1912.

Learning from the past

I've had a really good day-tiring, but really good. I went to Old Cowtown Museum with some of my kids-the weather was perfect, the crowds were not crowds, the saloon hot dog was pretty good, the cow was protective of her baby, the displays were interesting. I like western lore and culture-and, every once in awhile, I need to be reminded that I'm fortunate that I don't have to wash clothes in a creek on a wash board. Those times seemed simpler, but you know, I don't think they were. The steps one had to go through to do laundry, to cook, and even to get water were physically demanding. Medicine was primitive and life was characterized by hard work and more hard work and more hard work. Every day. You didn't pack up and go on vacation. You stayed home and worked. You helped your neighbors when you could. You enjoyed Sundays as there was not as much work to do, but still, it wasn't a total day of rest. Life was hard and you survived by your own working hands and God's benevolence and mercy. It seemed the music of the church centered on trust, obedience, hard times, and the faith it took to pull through. The old hymn, "Does Jesus Care?" written in 1901, plaintively asks what we today sometimes wonder-four verses of four lines each questioning what happens sometimes in life, and one chorus, 4 lines, to assure the singer that yes, He does. Interesting. A simple faith? Maybe. But as we sit in front of our computers, and TVs, and cook in our microwaves, and drive our cars, we can learn something from these stoic pioneers.

Angst

So I was thinking about anxiety yesterday. I even looked it up on wiki to see a synopsis of this state of mind - like you, I've had my struggles with it. I realized that one way I've coped with anxiety over the years is to snack. To look at me, you'd probably guess that. But it became clearer recently what my trigger points are and I thought I'd share a couple of those with you. One happens Sunday evenings. I'm in the "getting ready to go back to work" mode, and I'm gathering up materials, thinking about my schedule, planning on lunches for the week, looking at my calendar, figuring out what my priorities are, and if I have anything scheduled which is causing me some concern such as a meeting with difficult parents, then the worrying about that begins. Sunday evenings find me restless and going into the kitchen about every 10 minutes as I get ready for a new work week. This has become obvious to me as I've been on a weight watchers plan, and it's gotta stop.

Another source of anxiety is, believe it or not, walking Lydia in our neighborhood. After we first got her, two loose dogs attacked her as we were getting out of the car from a trip to the vet. My daughter remained calm and decisive, I went into panic mode. Normally, I'm not afraid of dogs-I've always been an animal person, but this little event really fostered some fear in my brain. Since then, I've walked her a little in the neighborhood, but mostly at a nearby park, however, when it rains, the park path is muddy and puddled. The thought of getting out her leash and walking her around here scares me, but I hate hate hate being ruled by fear, so what to do...

What to do indeed. For the dog problem, I bought a little canister of pepper spray, took some lessons from "The Dog Whisperer" (a TV show in which the guy 'rehabilitates dogs and trains people'), and worked with Rebekah who did a lot of training with Lyd when I first got her and continued to encourage me. My anxiety made Lydia fearful, so now the goal is to be relaxed-to know what to do if we encounter loose dogs on the walk helps. You would be amazed, or maybe not, about how many irresponsible dog owners we have in this city who just let their pets out the front door unleashed and unrestrained. It is astounding to me. But I digress.

The anxiety that occurs on Sunday nights is getting better. But there are oh so many other little things that I let ball up inside me-concerns about my kids, friends who are going through hard times, problems with an administrator at work, and oh yes, let's not leave out how each and every day I never meet my own expectations. Ever. To know me you might not realize I'm so self-critical, but I battle that demon too.

Is there a cure for anxiety? More later.

Words- the voice of the heart

The title of this blog is a quote from Confucius, and how true it is. The Bible says something similar - that the things that come out of your mouth, come from your heart (Matthew 15:18). It seems that recently, several people have been in the news because of the words they've spoken - Kanye West grabbing the microphone from Taylor Swift at the Video Music Awards and interrupting her speech, tennis champion Serena Williams screaming and cursing at a judge at the U.S. Open, and of course, South Carolina representative Joe Wilson's outburst during President Obama's speech this last week - shouting "You lie" as the President spoke to Congress. What on earth is going on, I mused, as I pondered the decline of civility and respect - pondered from afar.

Then, it happened to me. A minor happening, yes, but a happening nevertheless.

It happened on Facebook. Someone posted an insensitive, offensive comment on a friend's wall. The comment was published on all of our facebook pages and was in extremely poor taste. What to do, I mused, as I read the comment. Do I say something or do I let it go? The comment wasn't about me, however, it reflected on someone I care about. I decided to comment on the comment, and as I expected, the reply which was posted to my comment was condescending and rude. Even though I expected it, I still gasped as I read it, as it was pointed directly at me.

The person who penned the original comment is a sophomoric, immature, poor excuse for a man. He objectifies women and has no respect for them, let alone for himself or for the God who created him. He speaks from his heart-his comment truly let us all see what he values most. I did not value his reply enough to respond and I will not get into a war of words with someone on a web page I don't even know.

But words-how powerful they are! A reminder of that to me, someone who has plenty of experience saying things I shouldn't have practically from the day I started talking - is certainly timely. And maybe all of us need to be reminded that civility and respect goes a long way in life. Can't we all just get along?

Mr. Smith

I went to the doctor for what I hope is the final time and got released to go back to work on Monday. He did not want me to work full days, but I promised him I would be careful about overdoing things.

My comments today have to do with HIPAA, which is an acronym for the congressional act passed in 1996 guaranteeing privacy of medical information for individuals. Since I've spent a lot of time in the doctor's office the last 10 days, I've had opportunity to observe waiting rooms and check-in procedures, and I gotta tell you, from my vantage point, there isn't a lot of privacy and protection of medical information at my doctor's office. There are several physicians who practice at this well-known clinic here in Wichita, and I became acutely aware that privacy, at least during check in is practically non-existent.

From the chair in the waiting room, I was able to hear patient's names, insurance information, birthdays, addresses, and employment information. I was able to listen in quite easily concerning not only which doctor people were checking in with, but why. Would I desire to do so, I could write this information on this blog. Had I made notes during my 3 office visits I could tell you who was there for shingles, who needed to make an appointment for a mamogram, who wanted to see a doctor for a stubborn infection, for a rash, for lab work, for chest congestion, and for blood pressure checks. I could tell you who had no insurance, and who was instructed to come back to the desk to pay on their way out. I know who a few of the new patients are visiting that clinic for the first time. I heard a physician counsel an elderly woman regarding whether or not it was ethical for her to slip her husband depression medication in with the pills he takes on a daily basis, explaining that he doesn't know what he takes and it certainly might improve his mood.

The girls, and I use that term purposefully, behind the glass checking in people are young. They do not speak so that hard of hearing people can understand them, so they raise their voices. "Mr. Smith, you have Medicare? And also Blue Cross?" Mr. Smith yells back, "YES. I need to make an appointment for next week." "Why do you need to see the doctor?" queries the what looks like a 16 year old receptionist. "Because I have an INFECTION," shouts Mr. Smith. The girl confirms his address, his date of birth, and his doctor of choice. She makes the appointment, and all the while, people sitting in the waiting room now know all about Mr. Smith. What is wrong with this picture?

When I checked in, I refused to state why I was there, and just said I had an appointment at 10:30. I made all my follow up appointments by phone instead of at the reception desk. When the receptionist raised her voice to confirm my insurance carrier, birthdate and address, I tried to barely nod without speaking.

It bothered me to such an extent that I feel like writing a polite but concerned letter to the clinic. Surely there's another way to handle this-surely there's a way to treat people with dignity and respect at the doctor's office without informing 30 or 40 strangers why you are there. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? You tell me.

Starting the third week

I'm sure some of you are wondering what's up with me as I haven't posted recently. It's simple-I'm off work for the 3rd week. I still am not well enough to go back to my job, and I am frustrated and sad. I have to go back for a re-check this Friday so I'm hoping I can go next Monday. And that's all there is to that.

Monday Musings

Back to work today. I am tired, and it was a long day. I went through a week's worth of email, mail, and other stuff, and attempted to prioritize what needed attention first, but I gotta tell you, it feels pretty good to be back. I hope my energy levels return this week.

I have a supportive spouse who kindly tried to make me feel better when I was down last week - he hardly ever sighed or gave me the "look". So how about a few lighthearted musings on marriage, from the book, "The Best Book of Useless Information Ever":

"I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up." - Barbara Bush

"Ah Mozart! He was happily married-but his wife wasn't." - Victor Borge

"Choose your wife by your ear rather than your eye." - Thomas Fuller

"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards." - Benjamin Franklin

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." - Groucho Marx

"The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it." - Shirley MacLaine

"Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting." - Ray Bandy

"I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back." - Henny Youngman

"Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it." - Helen Rowland

Things I Learned This Week

Last Sunday night I became rather ill rather quickly. On Monday, the doctor diagnosed it as "garden variety" influenza. I missed the entire week of work. Today, Saturday, I went outside my front door for the first time in 5 days. I am not contagious, but I'm not completely well, either. I did pick up a few things at the store, and am doing more home chores, but even now, I feel like I could lay down and take a nap. However, just because I was trapped in this house inside four walls for a WEEK doesn't mean I didn't learn anything. I learned stuff! I feel as if I must share this crucial knowledge with the world and although, it doesn't take a genius to figure these things out, it does take experience. There's nothing that will teach you better about life than going through it yourself. Otherwise, it's just words on your computer screen. So for what it's worth, here's what I learned:

1. The worst place to be when you are sick is the doctor's office. Doctor's offices were not built with sick people in mind. You go into a brightly lit waiting room and sit in uncomfortable waiting room chairs. You get called back to the little exam room and again, bright lighting and uncomfortable furnishings are there for you to enjoy. If you want to befuddle the nurse, lay down on the exam table, like I did, and ask for a pillow. I think if they really were wanting to offer services for the sick, they'd have a regular waiting room for people with ingrown toenails, boils, and hair loss, but a second waiting room set up with dim lighting and clean cots, with pillows, sheets and blankets for, here's a novel idea, SICK PEOPLE. You'd camp out there and snooze until the doctor came in to see you. You wouldn't care if he was 45 minutes late then. At least you wouldn't care as much.

2. While you are recouperating at home, there's not much on TV to watch during the day. I have cable so I have a few more options, but the pickin's are slim. Other than "Dog Whisperer" and the westerns on TVLand, there's not a lot left. I could only watch the entire hour of Price is Right one day out of five. I don't know how people stand it.

3. Being sick sucks the energy out of you like a black hole. One day I threw one load of laundry in the washer, put a few dishes in the dishwasher, then napped for 3 hours. And, like a black hole, other things are out of time sync. It takes longer to recouperate than what you think it will. You spread germs faster and further than you think you do. You move slower, you think slower. You are in your own universe of time and space. When darkness falls, you sorta come to and think, "What time is it? 8:00? It's about time for bed..."

4. You cannot hurry up the recouperation process. When you have influenza, all you can do is treat the symptoms, and those not very well. In treating those symptoms, I learned it's better to mix your own drug cocktail than to take a multi-symptom tablet. And, it's nice to already have them on hand so you don't have to try to explain to somebody what you want or need. I know exactly what works for me and what doesn't. I plan to have a supply available as I never want to walk into a Walgreen's and try to decipher the maze of brightly colored drug boxes through a fog of flu brain.

5. All the work that's piled up for me is waiting for my return on Monday and the best part is, the sky didn't fall down over two schools because I wasn't there. Nobody is indispensible. Some people's work is waiting on my work, but it'll just wait. Some meetings were postponned because I wasn't there, and they'll just wait. Some decisions were tabled and they'll be made later. Because my life came to a halt, in some ways, other people's work was affected, but-that's life.

So that's what I learned. Last comments: I am grateful it was just the flu. Many others face far more serious illness than that and with a lot more grace and dignity. I think of a person I know who continues to work in spite of weeks of chemo, weight loss, hair loss, and a general body shut down. We know what's going to happen. She does too. Still, she comes and does her job, and smiles brightly when she says hello. She works in spite of the pain, and I'm looking forward to seeing her Monday morning. I need that cheery hello from her, and a reminder that I have a lot to be thankful for.

Downsizing is not for wimps

For those of you not local residents, Anita Cochran is almost a household name. She's spent her life in the news biz, most recently as the prime time news anchor for KSN for several years. Several months ago at the pinnacle of her career and making big bucks, she resigned her job. I have found her blog and am following her life with intense interest these days as she and her family adapt to living on one income by downsizing everything in their lives, including their large, well-furnished and expensive home. She is following the Dave Ramsey money envelope system and she is committed to spending only cash for those things which are in their budget. She has put her heart and voice on the line as she blogs her journey, and I have grown to admire her courage in publicly sharing what life is like.

There are those of you who might say, well-she may be downsizing but her husband still works and they still make more money than what many do. This may be true, but it doesn't make her struggle and commitment to live a simpler life less real. There are people who make 500,000 a year who don't know how to manage their money, and there are people that make 12,000 a year that don't know how to manage their money.

I like Anita. She shows boldness in chronicling her successes as well as her failures in trying to get a handle on what's important in life. For her, other things were more of a priority than beaming into 500,000 viewers homes every evening and she had the guts to change her life. You go girl!

Her website, appropriately titled, "Breaking News - I'm Broke!" is:

www.anitacochran.tv/

Be warned, at times she's a little rough around the edges. But I think you may take something away from her willingness to share this most personal adventure with you.

Still learning lessons

I told my sister, I like Saturdays and I hate Saturdays. I like them when there's not a lot to do except just putz around and do what I want. I hate them when they are crammed every minute with some chore to do and some errand to run. Today has been one of the latter. I went to work out, went to WalMart and grocery shopped, unloaded all the bags, put everything away, and hopped right out on the porch to get some more painting done. The weather today has been fantastic-perfect painting weather. The Man is slowly and methodically repairing and painting the screens, and we are making progress, I guess. I think this is going to be something that takes me another 2-3 weeks to get completely done. In the middle of that today, we had a leaky toilet needing repair. A simple fix (we hope), but time consuming to do it.

We got another roof estimate last night, and are immediately impressed with the company representative. We just LIKED him, and I can't really tell you what about him was so special. There were several things about his bid that we thought would be better than what we've seen so far so we may have found our winner.

So my daughter is having a get together at her house, and I think I'll go over for a little bit. I'm going to make a couple of taco rings to take with me so that's probably why she wants me to come over there. (Just kidding, I think.)

I've finished the second week of school and things are okay. At the new building, it's all about learning a new system, however, it's made easier by the people I've met and have started working with. I am sharing a large office with two other staff members who are there full time and we seem to be compatible in terms of conversation, work ethic, etc. Our desks are facing each other, so that's a little weird, but it'll be ok. One of the things I like about this job is that I get to meet the most interesting people-sometime I'll have to tell you about Lois (not her real name). She's one of my office mates, and she's just intriguing to me. She's single and was raised in the Mennonite faith in a small community north of here. I've already been blessed by her overtures of friendship, to me-a stranger trying to fit in to this new workplace.

See, I was not enthused when I was first shown my workspace, and when I realized there would be two other people in there. The first plan was going to be to house me in a small space in another hallway by myself. But had the principal stuck to that plan, I would have not ever experienced this blessing of this friendship, and of getting to know both of these staff members. I would have certainly felt more isolated and alone. Lesson: Let go and let God do His thing. It might just be something that will be beneficial to you in the long run.

Slippery Slope Theory

I'm posting again, already today, because of a discussion I had with someone about the previous post. This person (this would be my spouse, in case you are wondering) is in agreement with most of what Factcheck.org is saying about the bill, but is extremely unhappy about what he perceives as the bigger picture. The bigger picture, according to him, is not really the bill's overt language. It's what's written between the lines, it's what the INTENT is, it's what the ramifications of this bill could be, it's give an inch, take a mile, it's beginning the downhill slide, as he sees it, into the world of not only the government dictating health care (i.e., socialized medicine), but it's running private health insurance companies out of business because they won't be able to compete. It's the government telling my health insurance company what changes they can make in my plan, and it's federal sticky fingers overseeing a business that it has no business being a part of. Right NOW, he says, there is no one telling grandma she can't have a hip replacement, however, the term "cost effective" has been thrown around and implications made that grandma might be better off just taking a pain piill instead of getting her hip fixed. There's no euthanasia in the present bill, however, he sees it as a way to open the door to that very practice because it could be cost saving. He would like the government out of his life, out of his health care, out of his home, and out of what kind of car he drives.

There's a lot of things in life we can apply the slippery slope theory to and we need to do that from time to time in order to be watchful and responsible in our actions. I appreciate talking with him about it, because as a dyed-in-the-wool conservative Republican, he has a lot to worry about where this bill is concerned and he articulates his worries well. But, he did admit that there are those that present these issues as "facts", when indeed, they are not facts, they are simply opinions of what may happen in the future should our country head in this direction. This is all I'm asking - if both sides could just state what's opinion, and what's fact then I can think and opine for myself.

Saturday Musings

Every single person you meet and get to know, even on a casual basis, can teach you something, and I suppose that's why I find people fascinating. I am assigned to two schools, 3 days at one and 2 days at the other. I am working for two very competent, professional, building principals who could not be more different in their management style - they are as opposite as day and night. I'm not saying that one style is preferred over the other, I'm just saying they are different. Consequently, there are different expectations of me, their school psychologist. One school is a new assignment, so I'm on a learning curve when it comes to figuring out what I need to do to fit in with a new team and to do my job so that we work together in achieving what we want. At the other school, I'm beginning my 4th year, and it fits comfortably like an old glove. I don't have to worry so much about those things - I've been there longer than the principal, which in an odd sort of way, makes me feel better!

At the team meeting at the new school this week, I did not say anything, I just watched and listened. And learned.

*****************
On a different subject, how are you feeling about the health care reform bill that's in the news, almost as much as the untimely death of Michael Jackson was? Personally, I'm tired of hearing about extremist opinions on both sides of the debate. According to factcheck.org, there are seven falsehoods prevelent about the current arguments for and against this bill. Here they are:
False: Government will decide what care I get (a.k.a. Grandma won't get a hip replacement).
False: The bill is paid for.
False: Private insurance will be illegal.
False: The House bill requires suicide counseling.
False: Families will save $2,500.
False: Medicare claims will be slashed.
False: Illegal immigrants will be covered.

I would encourage you to check out this website. It has been up and running for years, and is not in the hands of any particular political party. There appears to be good documentation regarding why these claims are false. I don't mind good debate on these issues, but I hate arguing when people on both sides distort facts and present it as truth. If you want to talk about the issues, do it honestly. This is why I hate even talking about this. There are those who, even when presented with the facts will hold on to their opinion as truth. Don't do that.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet, don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run-
Yours is the earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a man, my son!

by Rudyard Kipling

Saturday

The last couple of days have been busy ones for me. I had my first colonoscopy (!, sorry to entertain you with such delicate information), and I've been painting, cleaning, etc. The aforementioned medical procedure went well, and results of the polypectomy should be known in a few days. Other results are too uncouth, gauche, and maladroit to be written about here, but if you want to know and cannot stand not knowing, email me and I'll tell you. It's very true what they say. The preparation is much worse than the actual procedure, if you get my drift.

Back to work on Monday. I'm ready to go, I think, although I have certainly enjoyed my time adrift in a sea of summertime activities. Our church has a picnic scheduled for tomorrow evening but I'm not overly anxious to go and sit in the wind and heat. We do have a shelter rented at a local park, and there's fishing there, so I might take my pole. Depends on how hot it is. Most fish won't bite in the heat of the day. What am I gonna do if I catch one anyway?

Not a lot of deep thinking going on here in this blog entry today, but I do have a lot on the brain. It's just not fit for public musing. Yet.

Twilight

Sunday morning-what a gift these days are. I'm sitting here with coffee, windows open, listening to the birds, and...what's that? Lydia is barking. Oh! I looked out the window and there's a woman practically running by with, count them, 4 large dogs on leashes. Good grief! I don't know how she manages to keep control of all of them.

We finished up the yard sale yesterday and the kids didn't do too badly. I was glad I didn't have to do a lot of the work for it, though. I put a few things out but no one decided they needed my "treasures". I also went to the nursing home yesterday and played the piano for the residents. There weren't a lot of people there, the attendant told me that many of them had gone with their families for the day. But those that were there to listen seemed to enjoy it. A man and his wife came-she is actually the resident there and he stays with her most of the day. He came up to the piano and sang along with me. He also put a piece of music in front of me that he got from the piano bench and asked me to play it, telling me that they used to play this particular piece in his church during communion time. Although I'm not a very good sight-reader, I managed to make it through this composition easily, and it is beautiful. The title is simply "Hymne". I don't remember the composer, but after I played, he was so appreciative.

It's a little thing, really, playing the piano in a nursing home. They like the old hymns, none of this modern stuff for them. They request the same ones each week, and each week, I'm happy to do it. Every time I get ready to leave there's this goodbye "ritual -, I play "God Be With You Til We Meet Again", and then greet each one who has come. "Come back!", they'll say. "Come anytime!" This time, I had lots of questions about where my daughter and son were-they usually come along and help sing and he plays as well. They both had other things they needed to do, but they were greatly missed. Next Saturday I will probably miss as I am having a medical procedure done on Friday, and I just am not sure I will feel up to going, but we'll see how things go. This is the second time in my life that I find myself doing this. Many years ago when my children were little, I went on Sunday afternoon with a couple of people to the Lincoln East Nursing Home. I played, Bill sang, and Sam preached. We had a little church service right there. I told God I would do it for 18 months (the length of time my mother was incapacitated before she died), and ended up going for more than 2 years.

It's doing something outside yourself, and forgetting about your problems and your difficulties. It is understanding that many depend on us, the Church, to provide ministry to them. It is helping those at the twilight of the day gain "strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow", as the hymn states. It is realizing that there are blessings for not only those who are ministered to, but for the "ministers" as well. I'm not talking about a feel good all over transitory emotion-"I've done my good deed for the day" thing. I'm talking about something much deeper. Many of these folks have a faith they are clinging to which I have not yet grasped, but yet, which is so very visible to someone like me who comes in once a week for an hour. It makes me wonder if I'll have what it takes to meet my future-whatever that may be. With my health history, I could very easily end up in a place much like these folks and probably will. Will I pass the test? Will my faith in the God who made me, and who knows my name, be enough to sustain me, no matter what happens? Will I be able to make it visible to those who are around me, even if I can't take care of myself?

I have a friend in her 80's who is currently in treatment for cancer. This is her 3rd or 4th re-occurence, yet, she remains one of the most positive people I know. She told me on the phone the other day that she shares her faith openly with the doctors who treat her, asking them if they pray, if they believe in God, if they know Jesus. If they answer negatively, which some do, she walks through that doorway and tells them what Jesus has done for her. She prays for and with each doctor who treats her, sometimes as he/she is at her bedside. This woman is a true hero of the faith. She has no self-given labels i.e., "Queen of Evangelism", but she has, as so many others, given me an example to follow. My prayer is that I am faithful to the end, whatever and whenever that is for me.

New Walk

I walked a new route with Lydia today. We parked at the Keeper of the Plains, then started out on the bike path, walked around by the All American Indian Center, continued through Exploration Place, out on 1st street, walked east to near Waco and took the walk behind "Riverwalk Church", then went north on the path by the river all the way back to the Keeper. It was a very pleasant walk, but longer than what I'm used to, and I'm feeling tired now that I'm back home. Lydia is sacked out on the floor beside me, not a wiggle left in her fuzzy body. In actuality, it was only about 35 minutes, but for someone like me, that's a long time! When I walk at Riverside, I go around twice, which takes me about 25 minutes.

I love the wildlife I see on my walks-today a white bird with a long wing span flew within feet of me as it took off from its resting spot in the water. We "terrorized" a flock of geese, who gave warning honks to Lyd and one old gander (you can tell cuz he was wearing suspenders and high-water pants-ha!) fluffed up his feathers to about twice his size, saying, "You wanna piece of me?? You??? Come on over here!" He stood his ground as we walked right on by him. I will miss these mornings as in just another week, I head back to work and will have to do evening walks.

What a beautiful morning it is! I couldn't have custom made it better, weather-wise. It does not feel like July here. I understand that our friends in the northeast are baking under 100+ temps, and I feel for them as most do not have central AC. It's like we switched places with them-we have their cool mornings, rain and moderate days and they have our scorching heat.

I will soon begin the painting project again-with the rain I haven't been able to get as far as I'd hoped. I have two more windows primed and will try to get some paint on them today. So with that in mind, I will take my leave.

Parable Explained

The feedback I've received from some regarding my parable is that it ends too soon. Only one person was brave enough to actually leave me a comment about it (thank you Uncle!), everybody else either ignored it, didn't "get" it, or said that without an ending, it really wasn't complete. My friend "Piano Linda" and I did discuss it yesterday while we were out doing other things and I appreciate what she had to share.

I'm sorry to leave it so unfinished, but the truth is, the ending is whatever you think. Did the woman go on stage and try to direct the orchestra with her burdensome headpiece on or did she take it off and enjoy the freedom of just being herself, not really caring what others thought about how she looked? My friend thought that she would not have the courage to put her self-imposed burden aside, caring more about what she THOUGHT others would say or think about her. The sad part is, it's all her PERCEPTION of what she thinks others think. For her, this perception was her reality, but the truth is, perhaps people wouldn't have minded her baldness. Perhaps they would have admired her courage in being herself. Maybe they would love and accept her no matter what she looked like if she would have given them a chance to see the real her.

What is the lesson? Parables are supposed to contain a moral teaching, a lesson for us to learn. They are a way of explaining truth by using common life examples, although in this case, it is not common that we would direct a symphony orchestra. It IS common, however, that as we make our way through life, we are sometimes afraid to reveal our true selves even to those we love.

I would venture to say that some of you have given up on me at this point, thinking that this is a bunch of pyscho-babble nonsense. Perhaps, but I don't intend for it to be. Personally, I wanted the woman to experience the freedom to live without that heavy burden on her head. Without her worrying about whether people could see her baldness or not, and without being concerned about what they would think about it should they see it. I think had she been able to leave that tiara and wig behind, she would have found great joy directing that music, and would be on the road to discovering and experiencing all that her Creator intended for her to be.

I encourage you readers to do the same.

One last confession-this was not a parable I happened to think up. In case you haven't guessed by now, this was a very vivid dream that I had the other night. I was the woman with the heavy headpiece on. It doesn't have an ending because I woke up suddenly, startled, as I dreamed I was going on stage. I don't know how it ends, but because it was so vivid, and I remembered every detail so well, I decided to share it with you. I don't normally pay attention to dreams, however, this one was quite different. There ya go. You now know "the rest of the story" (thanks to Paul Harvey).

A parable

Once upon a time, a woman was called upon to be the guest conductor for one piece of music at a band concert. The evening was progressing well, and it became time for the woman to step out on the stage, take her bow, and lead the musicians. The woman was in her dressing room, surveying her attire, and noticed that her headpiece had slipped a little. She adjusted it, prepared to walk out, and it had slipped again. Determined, the woman clamped it to her head tighter and began to walk down the long hall toward the stage. "You look beautiful!" an onlooker shouted at her.

She had not walked very far down the hall way, when the headpiece (something resembling a crown), loosely fell forward and covered her forehead. Stepping into a restroom along the hallway, the woman looked in the mirror and was horrified to discover that the headpiece had slipped so far that the wig attached to the headpiece was laying to one side, revealing the bald skin on the top of her head.

"I can't let them see that I'm bald!", she panicked. She again attached the headpiece, which had somehow become heavier. She positioned the wig, and when it was tight enough that she didn't think it would slip again, she left the restroom. A woman passing by commented, "What beautiful hair you have!", and smiled at her. Almost to the stage, her adornment again fell, and ducking into yet another restroom, she removed it altogether and shook her head, causing the hair around the fringes of her scalp to fall around her shoulders. "Oh, I feel so much better without this headpiece," she thought. "If I didn't wear it, I could really relax and enjoy conducting this music without worrying about it so much." She paused. "But then, they'll know I'm bald, and I can't let them see me."

What to do? She stood there for a moment, listening to the instruments warm up and tune, then the musicians waited, quietly. There was an expectant feeling in the air as many waited for her to appear. By now, the headpiece and wig were heavy and cumbersome. She placed it upon her head and took two steps toward the door.

A Big Job

There's a lot about my house I don't like, but there's one thing I do like about it, and that's the wrap around screened in porch we have. I've written before about how our porch is like an additional room-how our kids played out there on rainy days, and how it was used for a "counseling" office when talks needed to be given. There's a lot of good memories connected with our porch, but, now, it's causing us some work. Every few years we have to take down all the screens (there are 20), repair them and scrape, prime, and paint the trim. It is a painstaking process at times. This last week we started on the windows to the south of the house-there are 7. They are all repainted, the screens are all repaired and the frames repainted, and we are waiting for them to dry in order to re-install them.

Today we took off 5 screens across the front facing the east, and are starting to scrape and clean the sills. Not only does the old paint have to be scraped off, but the sills and trim need cleaning before priming, which I do with a brush, a bucket of soap and water, and some elbow grease. It's a lot of work, and did I mention, there are 20 of them to do? Yes, yes, I think I did. I miss the screens. They offered some privacy, and some protection from mosquitos. I think it'll take us another couple of weeks to do all of them, but once it's done I don't have to think about it again for another 4 or 5 years.

I went to the farmer's market today and surrounded by hordes of people because it was "Tomato Day" at the extension building, I managed to buy some tomatoes and peaches. I got some yellow cherry-type tomatoes and some purple-reddish "heirloom" tomatoes that almost look like grapes. They are very sweet and very delicious. I didn't grow any garden this year, but plan to start working on putting in some raised beds in the fall. Have you seen the "topsy-turvy" tomato planter? You hang it up and the tomatoes grow upside down. I'd like to try one of those next spring.

Two weeks to go before school starts. I've received information from both schools about their inservice schedules and where I'm supposed to be. I also have gotten notice of 2 training sessions which are scheduled for school psychologists in August, so it's time to think about getting back to work. I'm grateful for a job, don't misunderstand me. And, I'll be ready to get back. I don't do well with a lot of unstructured time because I'm too much of a procrastinator. There's things on my list yet that I wanted to do this summer that I never got around to.

Speakiung of procrastinating, I'd better get moving. Maybe I'll have time to finish scraping a sill before I have to make dinner.

I'm thinking of you

It was said yesterday, "So, now that everybody's on Facebook, there's no blogging going on." Well, that could be the case, although, there are things I don't like about FB, and I'm sure that when I go back to work, it may get neglected from time to time. But overall, I have enjoyed it. I repeat my contention that it could be the worst time waster ever invented. Right now I'm embarrassed to confess that I'm participating in "Farmville", where I have a virtual farm I'm plowing, planting, harvesting, milking virtual cows, etc. I notice some of my Farmville "neighbors" play the game with a fervor unequaled to anything I've seen in awhile. It's all about making money, so you can advance in farming operation levels and even in this benign context, competitiveness comes out! I do enjoy visiting others' farms because one can be creative in choosing which crops to plant and in arranging trees, barns, etc. There's no septic system on this farm to muck things up, no hail to destroy your crops, no wolves to get your chickens, no diseases to get your cows, and no fungus which grows on your fruit trees. I would conjecture that those who actually live on farms would not play this game.

I've scraped and primed my porch trim on one side, and will paint today. We are blessed with cool weather for July so there's a lot that can get done outside.

We figured out where the Houdini dog is escaping, and I hope I have at least temporarily fixed that problem. The neighbor told me yesterday that she just freaks out when there is even a slight rumble of thunder in the distance and that's when she tries to get out, although she's done it also on clear days and I've gone to run some errands. If I'm home, she doesn't usually try to escape.

Well, on to painting. As I leave this blog, my thoughts today are with those in my circle of family and friends who are struggling with unemployment or under employment, those who have financial difficulties, those who have broken hearts, those struggling with health concerns, and those who are trying to make sense of situations that are difficult to understand with human perspective. I have nothing magical to say which would relieve you of your burden, but if you happen to read this blog, I hope you know your family loves you and that you are in my prayers.

Mixed Bag

Good Monday morning! Although I wasn't able to begin my porch trim painting project today, or to mow, (alas, it rained), I LOVE the cooler temperatures. For today's blog entry, how about three comments regarding money? Give me Frustrating Situations for 100, Alex.

I hear that our beloved county commissioners are thinking about closing the Kansas Colisuem pavilions. This after spending 6 MILLION dollars of taxpayer money to upgrade the pavilions collected with an additional sales tax, which also funded the downtown Intrust Arena. Although there are many groups who use the pavilions, they continue to lose a half a million dollars a year. I dunno. I'm tired of people spending my money. Did they know when they voted to spend that 6 million on improvements that the pavilions were losing money like that? Seems like somebody should have known that. Anybody in charge here?

Speaking of money, because some of us have been conservative in our use of city water, and because we've been blessed with good rain and weather has been moderate causing people to irrigate less, revenues are reduced. Is this reduction of the use of natural resources a good thing? No. Our city council is pondering an increase in water use fees to make up these revenues. The average Joe cannot win. You use less utilities, you get to pay more. You use more utilities, you get to pay more. Hello???

And speaking of money one more time, the council is going to vote tomorrow on whether or not to spend 85,000 to approve a contract with a landscaping firm to to DESIGN the landscaping, bike path, and decorative lighting along the east bank of the river. Doing the actual project will cost 2 million. I'm just... does it really cost 85,000 to DESIGN a bike path? Really? It really does?

And finally, just for grins, let's review the most common spelling mistakes on resumes. Here ya go: "Dear Sir or Madmen, I'm attacking my resume for you to review. Following is a grief overview of my skills. I have a keen eye for derail."

I'd like to derail something. Instead, I'll just have lunch. Until later!

What I'm thankful for

I go back to work in, let's see, exactly 3 weeks and 6 days. I am not bragging, just stating facts. My brain is already turning to my job - I loaded scoring software on the school laptop I have. I am wading through a technical book about evaluating children who are not native English speakers and who are struggling in school. I am thinking about my new assignment, and am hopeful that it will be a good match for me. And, I am grateful in this economy that I have a job, that I for the most part love what I do, that I get paid enough to pay bills, and that I have this break in the summer to de-stress.

My thoughts turn to many who are struggling to find and maintain employment these days. My youngest son has some promising leads and hopefully will be able to find work soon. My daughter in law has been hired at a local grocery store and will start in a few days, and my middle son at least is working part time, however, he has no benefits. My daughter has been able to work at a temporary job this summer which has helped them out, and my son in law remains employed full time, at a job he doesn't particularly like, but a job he is grateful to have. My husband's employment at both of his jobs looks secure, as does mine, but I know that life can "turn on a dime" in a matter of seconds. I really do try to take nothing for granted-each day, each moment is a gift.

Speaking of taking things for granted, how many of you got up this morning and flushed a toilet, ran water in a sink, or did a load of laundry? If you are connected to a city sewer system, you did these things without a thought of where the waste water was going. If you however, are on a septic system, then you unfortunately, may have to think about that from time to time. My brother had a little difficulty with his septic system last weekend and it brought home to me that I take a lot in my life for granted. It never dawned on me to be grateful for a sanitary city sewer system, but I am now. And I'm re-thinking my whole, "I wanna live out in the country some day" idea. Maybe I really LIKE having a dependable sewer system. We'll see.

I'm back

It's been a long time since I've written, almost a month. I know people check this blog every once in awhile, so I'm going to try posting regularly.

We've just finished with our annual family reunion, and what a great time it was! I'm so grateful that almost everyone in our extended family was able to come and be with us. Our family, the descendents of John and Estella Plank, are many and diverse. We get along well even though we have different viewpoints on many issues. These reunions restore family ties that become faint when we do not interact with some who live far away. They enable me to truly appreciate those things in life which are not material. Our music director has a saying that music is the only thing we get to take to heaven and I tend to disagree-we will also take relationships with us.

Well the old man is home and ready to sit down here to unwind, so until tomorrow, I am-

Just Me

Answers you've been waiting for

I'm sure you all are waiting intensely to find out the answers to the questions I posted in my last blog, so here they are:

1. The tick is not an insect, it is an arachnid, belonging to the superfamily, Ixodoidea, which, along with other mites, constitute the Acarina. Caterpillars, which is what I thought the answer was, are the larval form of Lepidoptera, which is the insect order belonging to butterflies and moths.

2. False. According to "Everyday English", every sentence must end with either a period or a question mark.

And there you have it! You are more informed than you were before if you got these questions incorrect.

So, I am mowing this morning before it gets to be 90 degrees at noon, although with the humidity, it feels like 90 right now. I mowed for 30 minutes, which was about half the backyard and I am wiped out. I'd like to finish it this morning, so I'll drink my water and go back out in a minute. I really should hire one of my sons to do this (actually, shouldn't they come over here and do it for free?).

In other news I have, either for the better or worse, activated my facebook page which has been inactive for quite a while now, since I first set it up. I think facebook could be the biggest time waster that we have in our society today, but I can see the appeal. I think. Linda and I are playing a Scrabble game lasting over the course of several days, which is a new idea for me-I always thought Scrabble needs to be played to its ultimate conclusion the same afternoon you start it, but what do I know? I told my husband he needs a facebook page, if for no other reason than to play the games on it. He wouldn't be good at "What are you thinking", as he:
*** 1. Is semi anti-social, depending on where he's at
*** 2. Cannot imagine that people would want to know what he really thinks
*** 3. Cannot imagine that he would be that interested in the minutia that other people are thinking

Time to go back out to the heat of the jungle.

Are you smarter than a 5th grader?

Two recent questions from my calendar, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader:

Which of the following is not an insect?
1. Ant
2. Caterpillar
3. Tick

Every sentence must end with a period. True or false?

What do you think? No extra research allowed on the net. Just your first impressions on both questions, please.

The "F" word for the day

The word for Wednesday, June 10 is: FLOCCULENT a. Covered with soft woolly tufts. Condition of certain spiders, an alpaca, or a male teenager's face.

Living where?

Word for the day: EREMOPHILOUS a. Inhabiting a desert. You might use this word to describe any number of wildlife such as snakes, camels, spiders, or coyotes. The author of the book, "The Superior Person's Second Book of Weird & Wondrous Words" states that it also may apply to the classic condition of a person who has just had a new home built, but has to choose between curtains or a lawn.

I was quite busy outside today, and, I might add, I got quite dirty. I potted up all the annuals I purchased which will decorate the tables for my son and daughter-in-law's wedding reception on Saturday, and, while I was dirty, I decided to plant all the other things I'd bought previously, as well as move and replant three bushes. I pulled grass and weeds out of a front flower bed, and gave out about 6:30pm before all the work was done, but tomorrow's another day.

I love wearing my crocs outside to do yardwork, but my feet get extremely grimy in them. Usually I rinse them and my feet off with the hose, but I didn't do that this time. I talked to somebody at church who, get this, liked her crocs, but didn't like the dirty feet she got while wearing them, SO, she installed DUCT TAPE over the holes of her crocs - works like a charm she says.

Time to get to bed. Tomorrow more weeding and yard work awaits me, but I really need to do some things in the house too. The days go by way too fast!

Observations

I had amensia once --- or twice. I forget.
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Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
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I am neither for or against apathy.
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All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
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What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
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They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
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Teach a child to be courteous and polite in the home, and when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
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One nice thing about egotists-they don't talk about other people.
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My weight is perfect for my height-which varies.
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I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not so sure.
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How can there be self-help GROUPS?
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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
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Show me a man with his feet firmly planted on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
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Is it just me, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Sparrows and the word for Monday

What a beautiful cooler day today-skies are a little overcast and it's in the 70's. A great day for yard work-and to have the windows open in the house. I trimmed up the forsythia in the front, and plan to do a few more chores outside before it gets dark.

I set up the bird and squirrel feeders several days ago and there's a lot of activity out there-I think a lot of sparrows, but also I've seen blue jays and I think I saw a finch or two. What is it about sparrows that they are considered sort of a nuisance bird? My dad in his later years made it his personal mission to rid his property of sparrows as much as possible by setting up traps for them. I looked on Wikipedia at several articles on sparrows, and one article says that house sparrows are the most widely distributed wild bird on the planet. It also says that house sparrows are aggressive in forcibly usurping the nesting sites of other birds, and in fact, sometimes even build a new nest right on top of an existing nest with babies in it. Did you know that the house sparrow has the shortest incubation period of all birds-10-12 days- and that a female can lay 25 eggs in one summer? They also don't have a very exciting "call" - the article calls it a "short and incessant chirp". So what we have is a bird which is very prolific, which has an annoying and constant chirp, and sometimes is destructive to other species of birds, taking over nests and housing boxes.

Yet, I think the sparrow is the only bird that I can find that Jesus directly mentions in the New Testament - other than maybe a dove? Perhaps you scholars reading this can help me out there. Nevertheless, Jesus says even though sparrows were sold 2 for a penny or 5 for a penny, depending on which book you reference (Matthew 10:29 and Luke 12:6 NIV), not one of them falls to ground without God knowing about it, or, as Luke says, God forgetting about about them. The point is, if God knows that about such a common bird as a sparrow, what does He know about me? What does He care about me? Jesus goes on to state that we are worth more than many sparrows to God. I don't know about you, but this gives me great comfort.

In honor of my spouse, the word for the day is: DEMOPHOBE n. This is not a fear of Democrats but, it is a morbid dread of crowds and massed humanity, i.e., the 5-10 people that might be waiting in a restaurant lobby, or, the 30 people gathered in a church fellowship hall, or, heaven forbid, the crowd of several thousand at a concert or other community function. The author of book I have referenced previously states rather cleverly that this is one of the more common phobias, and if all the sufferers of this malady were put together in one place, they wouldn't like it one bit.

Word of the day for Sunday

The word is: CATACHRESIS n. Misapplication of a word. So if you accidently used the word in the previous posting, BICRURAL, to describe, for example, a muskrat, you would be guilty of catachresis. I suppose cathachresis could also be used to describe situations in which people say with great pronouncement: "I could care less!" , or, when Hillary said she landed in Bosnia under sniper fire, or, when your teenage son said he had a "little" accident with the car, when confronted with the fact that the entire side was one big dent.

Friday and, the "B" word for today

What a beautiful morning! Not too hot yet. I went to the garden store and bought a couple of 6 pack annuals and some other things for the front oval flower bed-I still don't have that place worked up yet. I did transplant some peonies out there last fall and they came up great, but a neighbor kid's ball landed on them and broke most of the stems off. I was sick when I saw them. The 3 little bushes I planted out there are just struggling to survive. I bet the soil isn't very good. I'm thinking I need to move the the peonies yet again to another spot where they will have a chance to survive, and the ornamental bushes as well. I then took Lyd for a walk at Riverside Park today-she's getting better and better about walking with me. It seems she still has to stop every 4 feet to sniff something but even that's improving. After we walked a couple of rounds we stopped under a tree and rested. She drank out of her water bowl and I drank my 20 oz. water bottle. Because I've been working outside, the inside of my house needs my attention badly.

Word for the day: Bicrural. a. Having two legs. "I am sorry to have to say this in front of your new boyfriend, Hortense, but he is BICRURAL, and I cannot be persuaded otherwise."

(From The Superior Person's Second Book of Weird & Wondrous Words, by Peter Bowler. )

Word for the day

I recently discovered a book I had purchased many years ago: "The Superior Person's Second Book of Weird & Wondrous Words" by Peter Bowler. I am, by no means, an expert on language or grammar, and I am likely to be bested in a game of Scrabble by several people in my extended family who seem to have a real knack for organizing letters to make words I would have never thought of. But this delightful little book has been quite entertaining for me to once again peruse, so much so that I have ordered from Amazon a used boxed set of 3 books of Weird & Wondrous Words.

From this nifty little book, the word for today is: ADUMBRATE v. To foreshadow in general terms; to sketch out what you intend to do, or what you expect to happen, i.e., "Allow me to adumbrate in general terms the consequences of your continung to block my driveway with your car..."

I, myself, adumbrate the completing of many tasks today, all of which are mundane and trivial, but which are, nonetheless, on my "to-do" list. There ya go.

Thoughts regarding recent news

The recent murder of Dr. George Tiller deserves a blog post-however, finding words to say what I think succinctly and clearly so that there is no misunderstanding by my readers is a challenge. We'll give it a try.

First of all, the act was cowardly and malicious. The perpetrator needs to be prosecuted and punished to the fullest extent of the law. I feel no differently about this murder than I do when I consider the crimes of serial killer Dennis Rader or of the murders of 4 people by the Carr brothers. All victims were innocent, all victims were in no way at fault, all victims are loved and missed by their families. I am horrified by this turn of events. However, I wish to offer the following thoughts for your perusal, and for some, perhaps your disagreement. That's okay-you may disagree and thoughtfully post your comments.

I am a pro-life person. It is my contention and belief that every conception is human life and bears a soul. I am adamantly opposed to abortion. My opinion is that this legislation should be returned to each individual state to decide and that the federal government should step out of it.

Point number one:
I do not think it is fair to hold me responsible for what this extremist did on Sunday morning. It appears that in some newspaper columns, and on some news programs, there are those that are branding this crime as coming from the pro-life camp and nothing could be further from the truth. How dare the insinuation be made that those of us who value and respect life above all else would in some way be associated with this lawbreaker, whose heart was full of hatred and vengeance? Forty nine million abortions have been performed since 1973. Forty-nine million persons will never have an opportunity to live life-would you like me to hold you on the pro-choice side responsible for those whose lives ended so abruptly? Is there blood on your hands? Is there blood on mine?
Point number two:
Although I am sure that Dr. Tiller was probably a kind and compassionate man, I will never lose sight of the fact that he indeed, spent his life "terminating pregnancies". Some are saying he was a hero, some are saying he helped them in very difficult circumstances, some are saying he was a saint here on earth and was carrying out the work his God entrusted him to do. I think we need to be horrified by his murder, but also, be horrified by the fact that legally, he ended life for thousands and thousands and thousands of pre-born children. A caller to a radio show I listened to said that when people think of you after you have left this life, they don't think about what you DID, they think about what kind of person you were, and that what you DO in life does not define you.

I tend to disagree just a little bit. A person's work, and what they were able to accomplish in life DOES in some ways, define them. Are we going to say that about Dennis Rader? What he DID does not define him? I hardly think so. What he did personifies who he is. The way I not only do my job but live my life defines me and shows the world, whether it's admirable or not, what my true character is. It does so for every single person, even Dr. Tiller. We cannot as a city, as a state, and as a nation, conveniently "forget" what happened on a daily basis out at that clinic on East Kellogg, and no doubt, will continue to happen as other doctors step in.

Maybe more later.

Busy first day

It's the first day of summer vacation, and I have a list of things to do about 4 feet long (not really, but it seems that way). I even had to make a list to make sure I wouldn't forget something. I'm going to the church to work on sorting music, I'm taking my district laptop back to the adminstration offices, I'm picking up drugs at the pharmacy, taking dry cleaning in to get done, and I'm completing several tasks related to the reception we are giving for our youngest son and our daughter-in-law that will be here in town on June 13. I've got a load of laundry started and several more to follow - although I won't be home to do it, so I don't know why I even put it in the washer. 94 degrees here today. Whew!

Unraveling the knots of the past 6 weeks

So, a fine Saturday morning it is. I'm sitting here with my coffee cup, waiting for Jay to come and pick me up. We're going to take a little excursion for a few hours around south central Kansas today. It's not that I don't have anything to do-my goodness, I've got boxes sitting in here that I dragged home from school and all kinds of stuff piled on my table. My house is sort of a wreck and we're gonna have "company" this evening, so why am I not going to be home today? I dunno.

The last day of school was semi-uneventful. We had a staffing meeting which didn't go well-a parent became defensive and difficult, but dealing with that is all part of the job. Friday was spent cleaning up two offices and completely moving out of one, personal files and all. They're sitting here on the floor waiting for me to do something with them. It sometimes takes a few days to get unwound when you been tightly focused, so I'm waiting for the unraveling to start. Next week there's stuff for me to do-I have plenty on my agenda including, planning a wedding reception here for my son and daughter-in-law. It is scheduled for June 13. Her family will be coming from Wisconsin, so it'll be a nice thing for her to be able to visit with them and show them their apartment and around town. I've agreed to help out with VBS (why oh why?) and I'm continuing to help with women's group this summer at church. I have relinquished leadership responsibilities, however.

I see the brother has arrived so I need to wrap this up. Maybe one thread will untangle today as we're driving. Or not (knot). (ha!)

Wisconsin IS a nice state...

We're back from Wisconsin and now, it's catch up time. If you read my brother's blog, you'll see that he managed to blog TWICE while we were gone to Wisconsin. I don't know how that man does it, but the word for him today is "overachiever".

We had a lovely, albeit short, trip. In the car 4 out of 5 days, we traveled 3000 miles or more (about 900 one way). The wedding was "non-traditional" in a lot of ways, but very sweet and will be a special memory. In our short time there, we were able to travel up to the northern part of the pennisula for a fish boil and some sightseeing. It is spring there and the lilacs and other flowering bushes and trees are spectacular. I enjoyed seeing my family again, and am so appreciative of their efforts to attend and be a part of this special occasion. I ended up with a lovely daughter in law out of the deal, so all is well.

We got home and unpacked, took the rental car back and retrieved Lydia, who about wiggled out of her skin right there in the waiting room when she saw me. She was glad to come home, but she's been doing a lot of scratching and biting since she's been here-I wonder if she has fleas. Great. I'm going to have to see about getting her some relief this week because it seems pretty severe.

It's off to work this Tuesday morning. 4 more days to go, but busy days they will be. I wonder if we'll have kids who don't return to school this last week. See you later.

It's too early

It's 5:40am, I've been up since, oh 4:00am this morning. I just took my son to the airport to catch an early flight to Wisconsin. Now I'm kinda wound up, so thought I'd write a little before going back to bed. The husband will be getting up in a few minutes to go to work so we have an early start to this Saturday.

I was going to relate some difficulties from work that I've had this week, but I don't want to go into it. It's sufficient to say that I had to remind myself again that I'm not doing this job to make other people happy. Right now there are some who wouldn't give you a wooden nickel for my expertise, and that's ok with me. I have to answer to somebody bigger than USD 259 and as long as I can do that, then I am well. I just need to remember that as I'm tossing and turning, replaying scenarios and conversations, and conversations I'd LIKE to have, but can't, and all that. You know how it goes.

Maybe more later today.