"Can we all just get along?"

     You may remember Rodney King, the man who was beaten by LA police officers back in  March of 1991.  The title of this post was a question he asked during the riots in LA that followed the court verdicts handed down to the police officers involved (all were acquitted).   This is not a post about race relations or an expose on the verdicts of an incident which happened more than 20 years ago.  It's a post about an experience I had "getting along" with someone in a situation where conflict could have easily been the outcome.  

     I evaluated a student whose family background is extremely diverse from my own in almost every way.  When preparing for the meeting with the parent of this student, the evidence of a particular special education exceptionality was very evident from the testing I had completed, and as I practiced my oral report, I sewed it up quite neatly, I thought.  I gave pertinent information but not too much, and reached a conclusion and that was that.

     My team teases me occasionally, that I'm sort of the "Nazi control freak" where it comes to where people sit in meetings.  I don't really care where most people sit, however, I always insist that I sit by the parent(s).  It's easier for me to show them graphs I've prepared, and it's easier for me to just visit with them about their student instead of giving a clinical report.  So at this particular meeting, I sat beside a mom whose life was one big struggle after another.  Before I met her, it was somewhat easy for me to be critical of the decisions that she made in parenting her children, but you know, sitting beside her, and looking her in the eye as we talked about her student helped me drop all the prejudices that I don't like admitting I have.  I began to view her as someone who simply was trying to survive in a gravely difficult environment and make the best decisions she could for her family - and no, it wasn't what I probably would have decided, but who knows?  I've not been in her situation.

     As we made eye contact and I shared with her about her student, she listened and she asked questions.  Her eyes filled with tears at times, and when I got to the point in the report where I discuss our recommendations, something happened.  Suddenly, the ramifications of the news I was delivering became real as I shared them with this real mom about her real student - and I felt the tears leaking out of my own eyes as my heart was overcome by compassion.  I apologized and forward we went with all the paperwork.  At the end of the meeting when we stood up to prepare to leave, I extended my hand to thank her for coming.  She looked at my hand and brushed it away.  Instead, she took a step forward and expressed her appreciation for what we had shared by giving me a big two armed hug.  Two women, standing in a meeting, as opposite as you can get in almost every way came together in a common purpose and there wasn't a dry eye to be seen.

     "Can we all just get along?" is a plea from a man who found himself thrust in the national spotlight by suffering a beating at the hands of law enforcement, but it's also something that we should strive for every single day.  It's difficult to accomplish that when people do not turn loose of old wounds, old hurts, prejudices, judgments and preconceived ideas.  But I'm here to tell you that it's not impossible.  And the results of seeing people as they really are is life changing.  If I haven't said it recently, I'm so thankful for my job.  What an opportunity for growth I have - I learn more than I'll ever teach.  My challenge for you this week - try to see people as they are, try to not let old notions cause you to judge unfairly, and be available for what God might want you to do in ministry in someone's life - even a 5 minute encounter can be an opportunity for you to stretch your thinking.    

Let's Just Calm Down

     I just got done reading a Facebook post from someone commenting about the school her child attends needing confirmation of a dentist appointment when her child missed part of a day.  The post went on to rant that students are no longer allowed to go to the office and call home when they need something, and also when this mom brought something to her school for her child, her child wasn't allowed to come up to the office from class and get it.  The federal government was blamed for these policies as well as "Obama".  She was angry and getting angrier about her "rights as a parent" being violated and schools becoming intrusive into her and her child's privacy.  She made the point that if she wants to come up and get her kid from school anytime for any reason she should be allowed to do that without 1.  telling the school why and 2.  it counting as a truancy on her student's record.

    Well.  As part of the "evil" public school domain, my answer to her would be that if she's so dissatisfied with these policies, she is always free to withdraw her child and enroll in a parochial school (who also have the same policies) or homeschool her child.  Yes, we have these policies in place and for good reasons.  In my building with 653 children, I cannot imagine what it would be like if children were allowed to go to the office and call home for non-emergency reasons.  And no, your child's instructional time is so very valuable to them (and we hope to you) that we do not want him/her to lose even 10 minutes to walk to the office to get a sweater that you brought them because it suddenly turned cold.  We do take truancy seriously and we are sorry that this affects parents whose children are NOT truant, but believe me, if this issue comes up, you would want the school to provide documentation of why your child wasn't there.  

     We do not intend to be "intrusive" with our policies but we do value the classroom time your child has in our building.  We do take care of your kids and believe it or not, most kids want to come to school - they enjoy learning and they like this structure in their day.  I have seen with my own eyes in some situations children who become almost morosely depressed on Fridays, and if you doubt that they don't want to come back on Mondays - stand at any school entrance on Monday and watch them come in.  

     So you do your job as a parent, and by the way, that includes not griping about our new ID scan policies in Wichita Public Schools and every locked door except the front one.  You DO want us to know who is in our building, don't you?  You DO want us to keep careful control of who we have around your children, don't you?  If you'll let us do that, we can work to provide a healthy fun atmosphere for learning and believe me, there's no greater joy for an educator.  There should be no greater joy for a parent to know that their child is learning, is enjoying school, is making friends, and is in a safe environment while doing so.  

Writer's Block

     So I'm getting nagged to do a post - okay okay!  I looked back at my previous years of posts and my goodness, I've covered a variety of topics on here.  Some posts are not worth the computer screen they're written on, others are much better.  But nevertheless, writing must continue in some form or fashion.  I'm still toying with the idea of writing a book someday.  I do realize my 60th birthday is approaching, but hey - a lot of older people have accomplished much after 60.
     My 60th birthday.  I can't believe it.  On the inside I feel like I should be about 30.  Maybe 40.  But 60?  I remember when my mother turned 50 (I was 10) and then again when she turned 60.  It seemed like she was "old" - now look at me!  I'm "old"!
     So anyway, tomorrow starts the 5th week of school.  Already!  I am busy busy busy - lots of issues at my base building causing lots of work for me.  No day is ever the same when you're a school psychologist - and flexibility is the name of the game.
     I love fall and finally we are having some cooler weather.  Ready for pumpkins, hot cider, hoodies, and colored leaves.  Snow - now that's another issue.  There's a whole round of stuff on Facebook about how we will get more than normal snow this year.  Then somebody posted the weather forecast from the Farmer's Almanac which said we would get less snow.  Really?  What does it matter - what comes comes.  I'm getting ready to experience my 60th winter and I don't believe I have ever been able to have anything to do with controlling the amount of snow we either get or don't.
     Writer's block - that's me.  I just sit down here and see what comes out - most of the time it's drivel.  But it's thankful drivel!  So grateful for my family, my job, my home, my spouse - so thankful for the opportunity to worship as I choose, so glad to be able to enjoy the company of family and friends.  I'm singing the Messiah again - I believe this is the 4th year I've done this.  Loved it every season and am so glad I have the chance to take part in this community choir.  I'm especially blessed to see my son participating - it will be a great experience for him.
     Until later-