Gulp

Great! I haven't posted in about, oh, eons, and I just now discovered that my blog has been mentioned on the Douglas and Main website-sort of a coffee house for local blog writers. Great! I hate to think about people visiting my site, only to discover that there's been nothing posted in about forever, so maybe that will be a motivator for me. I notice that my brother, the faithful blogger, has done his 500th post. Great! By the way, I'm going to try to figure out how to link the Douglas and Main website to this blog so you can go there if you like. I'm listed under "Educators". EEK! There's lots of interesting stuff on that link and I could waste all kinds of time looking at all the blogs-I think everybody else's writings are infinitely more interesting than mine. I don't even own a digital camera to be able to post pictures on here, so what I write about is just...I dunno, so ordinary, or something.

This time of year is very busy for me, as it is for school psychologists all over the district. I have the added pressure of trying to have everything completed a week early so that I can be out of here and attending my youngest son's wedding in Wisconsin the end of May. I am working a lot of hours, and in addition, work on things at home in the evenings and on weekends when needed. In spite of that, for the most part, I love my job. I like trying to figure out mysteries and this job certainly has its share. There are times I'd like to be able to unzip a head, peer in at a brain, and discover, oh! THAT'S why this kid is so smart, but he can't read fluently...THAT'S why she sees letters and numbers reversed...THAT'S why this child doesn't 'get' multiplication...THAT'S why this student transposes sounds in words...etc. The testing I do is but a snapshot of performance on that particular day. It is at best, an estimate of ability and achievement, and that's why I try my best to view a student holistically and consider other factors such as environment, motivation, and health. Even then, I sometimes feel that I have more questions than answers.

On another topic, we got 6 inches + of rain yesterday and last night. Typical street flooding in my neighborhood made me wonder, as I came home around 9:30 whether or not I was gonna need a canoe.

It's late, and I'm done for the day. Thanks for visiting me, even though I don't do well at posting. Everybody who nags me about having a Facebook needs to realize that I'd be worse at that than I am at blogging.

Change is inevitable-except from a vending machine

I'm thinking about changing the title of this blog. Life is so much more than work, and my job title simply is that, a title. Although it's what I spend most of my time doing during the day (and when I bring work home in the evenings and on weekends), it is not me. I know there are other school psychologists who follow this blog, hoping for earnest discussion about those issues, and I don't mind talking about that, but frankly, it is not how I define myself. Since I changed the About Me several months ago to indicate that, I still feel constrained by the title Cool School Psychologist. I am that, but more. I feel I haven't been able to reveal a lot of my personal struggles on this blog or my opinions about certain things because there are readers who check this blog wanting discussion on professional issues, not personal ones. So stay tuned if you're interested. I may make a few drastic changes here and there.

Speaking of change, that's what I feel like my life is about these days. And my reaction to change isn't always healthy, even if the change could be a good thing. For example, at work, this time of year, it is always probable that things come up which I'm not expecting as I plan the last 8 weeks of school. There might be several kids who move into one of my schools who are due for re-evaluation before the end of the year. I might have a parent request an evaluation and then insist that the testing occur before the 5th grade kid moves on to middle school. There might be a teacher who knows valuable, critical information about a student I am working with, but does not tell me until I stumble upon it by accident. All of these things and more have happened to me on the job since spring break.

In my personal life, things are changing. There's are two or three major changes happening at the church I attend, and they affect me and the way I do ministry there. I feel I have lost my way at a church I have attended for many years now. Our family, both nuclear and extended is changing-usually these are good changes, but still, they are stressful. I used to think weather was a minor thing, but actually, I am beginning to believe that it affects us all more than we might think. Last weekend we had blizzard-like conditions in south central Kansas, with sleet, snow, and gusty winds starting on Friday afternoon, and continuing through Saturday afternoon - temps in the 20's and 30's. Yesterday, 7 days later, the high temperature was in the 60's, still with gusty winds, though. Today, it's cloudy, windy, looks like rain, and it is COLD.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else." I think that sums up my life right now. I'm working in a futile quest to hang on to what I lose when things change. How's THAT for a blinding flash of introspection on a Sunday morning?

Spring Break is OVER

When will you blog again? - People are asking, asking, asking, nagging nagging, nagging...All my good intentions about blogging during spring break went right out the window. I have no good excuse, really, except that blogging seemed too much like WORK. Speaking of work, it's time to go back and begin the countdown for the last 9 weeks of school. It will not be unusual for me to work 50-60 hour weeks from now until the end of the year, and for me to bring work home. Evaluations, meetings, and paperwork are overwhelming at both schools. Tools and strategies certainly help keep me sane. One great tool I use is one of the best planners I've ever seen published by Franklin Covey. This planner helps me prioritize daily in order to achieve weekly goals - and, it helps me keep the big picture in mind, which is, what I need to finish up by the end of year. Also, I have learned to make the most of my time-I work on paperwork and try to have meetings before and after school, and when kids are there from 9-4, my focus is working with them.

So anyhow-what about spring break? It was great! Usually, I try to get away for a few days, but alas, not this time - however, my time off was not unproductive. I'd tell you everything I did but you'd be asleep within 30 seconds. Let's just say I enjoyed life and leave it at that. Lydia liked having me around home as well-she's going to miss me as we go back to our regular schedule tomorrow.

*******************

So, on other subjects-what to say about the bailout mess-how do I feel about the government using tax dollars to keep private companies afloat-do we need more government intervention in our lives, or less? And is there a moral issue at stake in giving companies bailout dollars only to have them fund bonuses for their CEO's? It's sort of like Ray Barone giving his brother Robert a thousand dollars because he was in serious financial trouble, then Robert deciding to go on a vacation to Las Vegas with the money. Were there strings to Ray's gift? No, but yes.

On a less serious matter, I've decided that if my hometown newspaper is going to cancel the columns of hometown writers (Joe Stumpe and Kathy Manweiler), then maybe I'll cancel my subscription. Deciding that these columnists were no longer needed are the most recent of changes the Wichita Eagle has made and not for the better. I let it go when they cancelled the little insert every day called Wichitalk, and I let it go when they cancelled a couple of other local columnists, but say it isn't so! A paper without Joe Stumpe is like---well, it's just not the same. I feel almost the same way about cable TV, except, I really like the Food Network-it's probably what I watch the most. The junk that's on the 4 main networks-is exactly that, nothing but junk. Yuck.

And finally, this:

"Sir, What is the secret of your success?"
"Two words"
"And, Sir, what are they?"
"Right decisions."
"And how do you make right decisions?"
"One word."
"And, What is that?"
"Experience."
"And how do you get Experience?"
"Two words"
"And, Sir, what are they?"
"Wrong decisions."

State Assessments = No Fun

My sister said something on her blog that her latest post was her 200th-as is this for me! This does not speak very well of my posting because I've had my blog longer than she's had hers, but, oh well, we do what we can.

Kids at both my schools are taking the state reading assessments next week. This is never a fun time because the pressure on administration, teachers and students is enormous. There is a lot of preparation that goes into this event, and I am always amazed at the amount of work this takes. There's a lot riding on the kids' performance, and at one of my schools, it is critical that scores increase big time this year in order to avoid unpleasant consequences.

I tried to explain to someone why that school has had failing scores the last two years and it's a complicated matter. Here's a synopsis: Mobility is high-every week we add and dismiss several students. However, we have in the last two months, added more than we have dismissed and we have at least four classrooms bursting at the seams-28 kids is way too many for one teacher. I was in one classroom where there were not enough student desks and 3 kids were kneeling at chairs or sitting on the floor to work. This school is high in poverty-more than 90% of the kids qualify for free or reduced lunches. There are significant issues of gang culture, parents of all ethnicities who are not involved in their child's education, and homes which lack structure, routine, and basic necessities such as beds to sleep in. We have several children for whom we have no working phone numbers for parents or relatives, no way to reach them in case of an emergency. Currently, there are several families considered homeless, who are bunking with relatives. In spite of all that, we have dedicated teachers who come to work every day and prepare kids for high-stakes testing-and whose jobs are dependent on these kids' performances.

Sometimes I just get weary thinking about all the needs. It appears to be a gloomy picture, but in spite of everything, some good things are happening. We have good teachers and staff, we have good community support with some dedicated volunteers, and, this school is in the first phase of construction for the bond issue we just passed. We are getting new classrooms and offices - not quickly mind you, but they'll be finished in a year or two. Hopefully, we'll be able to hire teachers to staff them.

There are difficulties at the other school I serve as well - not so much poverty issues but staff issues. It never helps you to win popularity contests when you have to take a stand, does it! Spring break can't come along fast enough for me this year. No train trips like I took last year-my finances won't allow that. Maybe the weather will be warmer and I'll be able to get some outside work done. That's something to look forward to.

Monday

I've had a lot to blog about recently, but can't seem to either find the time or the energy to put thoughts into words. I'll try to hit the highlights in this posting.

Work-like many other professions, the School Psychologist's work is NEVER done. I wish I had time to read more professional articles and follow research in several areas. For example, there's a lot of research currently happening in the area of educating English Language Learners. My work with those ELL students is challenging. The issue is that although most of these students speak English and may appear to be fluent, there are still language issues which cause most to struggle academically. It can take up to 10 years for an ELL child to obtain a level of English proficiency which allows them to excel in school. And, we are seeing more and more students whose first exposure to English is when they come to kindergarten, so there's a lot of intensive support needed there.

Family-there's a lot going on here, too. My oldest son is recently unemployed after 5 years with the same company. He's job searching and has applied for unemployment. My youngest son has a good job, but may be facing unemployment in April as his job is considered "temporary". My daughter is looking for an additional job. In happier news, we so much enjoyed helping my uncle celebrate his 90th birthday last Sunday afternoon and reconnecting with people we don't see very often. Spring break is coming up in March, and although we won't be able to take our usual trip to get away for a few days, I will enjoy the time away from the job. April brings Easter, warmer weather, and our annual women's retreat at church. School goes until the end of May, then in July, we have our annual family reunion here in Wichita-the Planks know how to have fun when we get together! I'm enjoying making preliminary plans for that.

Encouraging words-I leave you with God's words to Joshua in chapter one of that book, verse nine: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." (NIV) Timely for today, don't you think?

Lydia

Look at these before and after pictures of my dog, Lydia. The first one was taken at the vet's office the first morning I got her. The next one was taken a couple of days ago. What a difference some money, some love, and some TLC makes! She's a great dog.

Tick Tock Brain

I haven't written much about my job recently. I know there are some that read this blog who are school psychologists, and they probably wonder why I don't write a lot about what I'm doing. I do follow some expertly written professional blogs in my field and from time to time, am amazed at how smart some people are. The process of learning has always been difficult for me, and even in my own family, I am a lot of times "outwitted", "out-thought", and "outplayed" by my siblings.

However, there is much going on in research, and one interesting study I've recently read had to do with "timing" and reading fluency. The author of the study hypothesized that we all function rhythmically, especially when we read. Increasing fluency and comprehension in reading (after you can "decode" words) can be accomplished by helping children set an internal clock mechanism which will drive how quickly they respond to printed words. The study found that a child who has difficulty "keeping the beat", for example, clapping accurately to a metronome set 60 seconds a minute, also will have difficulty reading fluently enough for comprehension. In the study, those children were given several weeks of training (10 minutes a day or so) of learning to keep rhythms accurately and their reading fluency monitored. The outcomes were significant enough for this study to be published in a well-known research journal.

In my view, this is thinking outside the box at its best. I wonder what reaction from parents and school administration I'd get if I would work with a group of struggling non-fluent readers and duplicated this study. Parents might think it was a waste of time-it sounds a little crazy. I ran this idea by the Spouse, who gave me a look like, you MUST be joking. But what if some solutions to problems we encounter in life are exactly like this-so "odd" that we miss them? If this method would help my child become a better reader, I'd sign up in a heartbeat.

Here's a blog which addresses this, and other issues, but it's kinda technical, and may be of no interest to most of you:

http://www.ticktockbraintalk.blogspot.com/

Press On

Have you ever tried to kick a habit? How about if your habit was a drug? Like, maybe, caffeine? I have had the unfortunate experience, this past week, of weaning myself off of this stimulant, which is found most commonly, in coffee, tea, cocoa, and soft drinks. I did a little internet research and discovered a lot about caffeine, including the fact that it acts as a natural pesticide and paralyzes and kills certain insects who feed upon the coffee bean plant.

Caffeine is a central nervous system and metabolic stimulant. It is used to reduce fatigue and restore mental alertness (www.wikipedia.org). I didn't realize that many drug manufacturers include caffeine in pain relievers because it helps the body absorb the medication faster, thus providing relief faster.

However, an unpleasant side effect to increased caffeine consumption is heart palpitations, and that my friend, is the problem. I have experienced a big increase in the number of palpitations, how long they last, and how severe they feel since Christmas, and I think it's due to increased coffee drinking (cold weather antidote) and the amount of diet pop I consume during the day. A doctor's visit was punctuated by two EKGs and a serious warning to quit consuming this drug. This verbal warning was enforced by the fact that I have to wear a Holter heart monitor on Monday, just to make sure there's nothing seriously wrong with my heart.

Heart disease runs in my family, so I'm taking the stern look from the doctor and the warning seriously. I've got withdrawal symptoms, but I'm doing better. You aren't supposed to kick it all at once, but I did, and the headaches and feeling of lethargy were enough to make we want to set up a caffeine IV, but I tried to hang in there. Caffeine-another thing on the list that I need to consume in moderation if at all. I don't want the consequences of feeling the old ticker dance a jig in the middle of my chest, so that's a powerful incentive.

There's always something, isn't there. Always something to work on, to improve, to sacrifice, to give up, to refine, to change, and to ultimately, better ourselves. Sometimes I don't like looking at everything I need to do because it's overwhelming. I'm a work in progress, but some days, I feel like instead of progress, I've stepped back about a mile. I know some of the rest of you feel that way too with things you are struggling with. Let me encourage you today to "stay the course", to, as the Apostle Paul says, "...press on toward the goal..." (Philippians 3:14). Do you need to refocus on a goal you have? Put one foot in front of the other, and let's get going.

Books

Those of you who know me know that I love to read. I can get lost in a book quicker than you can say "Jack Spratt could eat no fat." It is an escape for me sometimes, but also, I am just fascinated with the development of the characters in a story. I like reading all kinds of material, from fiction such mysteries, to historical narratives, to books which challenge faith and conventional thinking. I usually have more than one book going at a time. I have them stacked beside the bed on a cedar chest which belonged to my mother. My favorite time of my day is when I get to crawl in bed at night, turn down the thermostat and turn on the electric blanket, reach for the old "bedlight" which hung on the headboards of numerous kids' beds in the home we grew up in, and get my book out.

Today I went through the books which had accumulated on the cedar chest. I found several I finished this year and didn't get put away, two books I'm in the process of reading, and, I made space for some newly purchased books I've gotten recently. You may ask, why do you buy them rather than get them from the library? One reason is because it takes me awhile to finish a book when I read it at night. I've got about 20-30 minutes before I get sleepy (under that electric blanket) and that's all I get done. I don't like having the pressure of trying to finish it before it's due back. I frequent used book stores-in fact, there's one right down the street from me called "Al's Old Books". Another favorite place I'd go frequently before it closed was the Delano Book Room. If you go on further east on Douglas, you will come across "Eighth Day Books", a delightful place to spend time in.

I struggle with a couple of things in this reading hobby I've got. First, I realize that whatever I read goes into the brain and the thought processes. You know the old saying, "Garbage In, Garbage Out". For awhile, I was attending a neighborhood book club, however, some of their monthly selections were not of my taste. I try to be careful about what I do pick up to read-I don't do "terrifying horror", ghosts and vampires, blood, slasher, X-rated romance, and I don't like to read language I consider offensive. The second thing I struggle with is prioritizing. I need to feed my soul. If I have 20 minutes to read before going to sleep, then what should I be doing? To that end, for the last several years, I have put down my current reading interest before the "sandman" comes, and picked up my little Oswald Chambers classic devotional book, "My Utmost for His Highest".

I may be behind some of you in my internet discoveries, but today I found this devotional classic online. Check out:

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/01/03/devotion.aspx?year=2009

How wonderful! I would be able to access this site from work, say during a break in my day, and take a moment to just be still and think about what God might be saying to me. I hope you find this site helpful. There's also, at the bottom of the page, a schedule for you if you are reading the Bible through in a year. That's also a task I struggle with. Is there time in the day for everything? Depends on what your priorities are. Take a hard look at how you spend you time, and there'll be room if you make it so.

We don't know how it works

We had a very nice Christmas and New Year's this year-it was busy, but not exceptionally so. I did get some things done while I've been off the last 2 weeks. It sounds mundane, but I cleaned my clothes closet and got some things to Goodwill, I cleaned out and straightened the little portable linen cabinet we have in our bedroom, I turned the mattress on the bed and washed all the bedding, after a great deal of thought, I decided on a study for the women's group at church, I have been reading a couple of books I've meant to get to, and I've just been, at times, for lack of a better word, lazy. I know what awaits me on Monday, but I'm not dreading it-on the contrary, I think I'm more of a creature of routine than what I would like to admit.

On another note, my brother and his daughter, my niece, were involved in a motorcycle accident on December 30. Although they were not seriously injured, my niece spent the night at the hospital and had surgery to fix her wrist which was badly broken. Both were stiff, sore, and bruised, but oh my, it could have been so much worse. They were struck by a pickup as they were waiting to turn left at an intersection. Both were wearing helmets and jackets, which saved them from much more serious problems.

I can only thank God for His protection and watchcare over them, but to tell you the truth, I'm not sure how that works. For example, I'm a little uncomfortable when people say God spared them from a tornado that did little damage to their home while they survey the destruction of homes all around them. Bad things happen to all of us and how that's determined is something beyond my understanding. A couple of years ago, a member of our church was killed in Iraq-this after we prayed much for his safety. Had he come home, we might have said that God protected and saved him. But since he didn't come home to his family, what can we say about that?

Don't you hate the "pat answers" that sometimes come from the Christian community when things don't make sense? I do. I think sometimes the best I can do is to admit that I don't know. I don't have the answers. I don't understand. I don't get how life works. I don't know what I could say to those who have had family members who have died in similar motorcycle accidents. My heart goes out to people who have experienced loss and who have suffered much. I have been blessed knowing these suffering heroes of the faith - Jack, Shirley, Marjorie, A.D., Don, Lola, Marie, Lois, the list goes on.

We don't know what 2009 will bring, but it is a little tiny thread in the fabric of eternity-it is but a vapor, a breath, a second passing by. Why do we get spun up about trying to figure out how God works? His very nature transcends everything we are as humans. Yet He came, wrapped in human flesh to live as one of us in order to save us. Ponder, wonder, and just for a moment, let go of what holds you here. Minister to others freely but with no cliches or canned responses. Love freely, demonstrating a heart of compassion and mercy. None of us have it all figured out, but we don't need to in order to live life abundantly. God's grace be with you all in the coming year.

Christmas vacation Day Two

My brother emailed me-he says, so here you are. "lollygagging" on vacation, and you haven't posted one time yet. Ok, ok. Here ya go. I had thought that I might post several times, but if he keeps nagging me...

The last 3 days have whirled by. Saturday we had Angel Food distribtution at church, and then celebrated my youngest son's birthday that evening with chicken and noodles and potato soup. Oh, and a peach cobbler that Lydia got a hold of while it was cooling. She ate the corner of it, so most of it could be saved, but I'm telling you, I'm not used to having a dog around who steals food. We are much more watchful, and Rebekah is teaching her the concept of "Leave It!" I've been working with her too, but you have to out think Lyd because she's smart enough to be sneaky about her food stealing. She's probably way too smart to live with THIS family.

Sunday our little choir presented our Christmas cantata at church, "Hope Has Hands". It was a day of highs and lows, one of the lows was me screwing up my part of the piano/organ offertory duet. Sigh.

Monday, which was yesterday, I hosted a "girl's lunch" for some of the younger women in our extended family, and a good time was had by all. Lots of conversation and laughing, and getting to know each other better. It may become a holiday tradition. Then my daughter and I braved the streets and did a little shopping and ran some errands. We went by Starbucks and bought a Cranberry Coffee Cake to replace the one Lydia consumed a couple of weeks ago. Home, and later in the evening, my kids, my son in law, and a young couple not related to us but who call me "mom" came over for a game of "Imagine If". Quite fun, if I do say so myself.

Today I'm sort of cleaning, organizing, listening to Christmas music, doing laundry, and just bumming around the house. I think I'll go have lunch with my husband today as he has to brave the crowds at his second job tonight. Someone asked me if I felt guilty being off this two weeks while he still has to work his two jobs. I sort of do...I wish he were able to take off more time than what he is. I also have heard from friends who have sent Christmas cards, and it is my intention to write or email them back-I do appreciate hearing from everyone! I do not send Christmas cards out, but I do enjoy getting them, and hearing what is going on with everybody. We even heard from my husband's brother and his wife this year.

It's cold, cloudy, and windy again today, but doesn't seem to be as bitter as it had been the last 2 or 3 days. I'd love to see the sun again, and hopefully this week it'll make an appearance.

So that catches me up to today, Tuesday, December 23. A happy belated birthday to my sister Linda and her daughter, Anna. Most of us women wouldn't want to spend our 40th birthday in the hospital giving birth, but 11 years ago yesterday, Linda did, and we're so glad Anna's here!

Cold and hearing "things"

So, after reviewing comments on my last posting, and after my sister informed me that she wrote some comments which I never received in my email, and thus I wasn't able to post them, I removed the comment "moderation". I hope that people may feel more free to leave their comments-I understand that it is annoying to post a comment only to be told that it has to be approved by the blog author. There ya go...dive right in there and comment!

To say that it's cold is an understatement. It is FRIGID. When I left for work this morning it was 4 degrees, with a 2 digit below zero windchill-I don't remember what exactly it was. I came home for lunch to take care of Lydia, as I left her on our enclosed porch. She has a heating pad (made especially for dogs, mind you) in a box that shelters her, but still, she is chilly by the time I get home. She's always glad to see me and likes coming in to get warm. When I got home this evening, she was shivering, but very energetic! When I went with her out to the backyard, she wanted to play, and I stayed out there with her about 5 minutes-that was all I could stand it. She has been staying inside at night, and is a good girl-she sleeps right by the bed and as far as I know, she stays right there.

Kids are at school 4 days this week, starting their Christmas vacation on Friday. I have to go on Friday-it's a "teacher work day" and I've got paperwork to catch up on, so that'll be nice to be able get some of that done. My work remains interesting and challenging. Last week a disturbed student fashioned a weapon out of a metal paperclip and launched it at her/his teacher, barely missing the teacher's eye. The student is being dealt with in a severe way-this incident is the newest in a long list of difficulties she/he has had. I am seeing another student privately to help with some issues, and it seems that every day is different, with different things to think about. (I just heard on the news that the windchill current is -1).

Our choir at church, combined with another church choir, presented a Christmas cantata (called "Hope Has Hands) at the other church last night. It sounded pretty good-sometimes the more voices, the better - both churches have small choirs, so this was nice. One of the things you deal with when you sing in a choir and practice a work for several weeks is that you hum bits and pieces of the songs you've learned as you work, drive, wash dishes, whatever. Those songs stuck in your head (they're called "earworms") can be frustrating, but I really don't mind them too much. I learned from Wiki just now that a neurologist in 2007 suggested a more scientific name for this phenomena- "Involuntary Musical Imagery". Other research suggests that earworms are more prevalent in women and musicians. Top 10 earworm list as documented by 559 students participating in a study:
1. Other - (students named their own worst earworm
2. Chili's "Baby Back Ribs" jingle
3. "Who Let the Dogs Out"
4. "We Will Rock You"
5. Kit-Kat candy bar jingle ("Gimme a break...Gimme a break...etc")
6. "Mission Impossible" theme
7. "YMCA"
8. "Whoomp, There It Is"
9. "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
10. "It's a Small World, Afterall"

Any of those bothering you yet? (ha)

Minutia and a question

It's Saturday evening, and I'm watching "Huckabee" on FOX, and just "chilling out". I've had a busy week and it's nice to just sit here! I need to go clean up the dishes and do some other chores yet though, so I shouldn't get too comfortable.

Lydia update: She had another vet vist today and is parasite free. Ears are still infected, and one reason is because it's such a chore to treat them. It takes two people, and I often am the only one here. I only got them "doctored" 3 days last week, so I need to be more faithful in doing that. She is continuing her food scavenging behavior, unfortunately, and the vet says she always will. She is at a good weight now, and really doesn't need to gain more, but this dog is in continual food hunt mode. Her taste buds really got spoiled when she lived on her own- I would imagine she ate all kinds of things she shouldn't have, but which taste good to dogs. We had a cranberry coffee cake on the table which was from Starbucks, and which was given to my husband by a grateful client. Lydia was happy to help herself to this coffee cake when I was in the bathroom getting ready for work-she was able to drag it off the table and tear the plastic wrapper off of it. More than half the frosting was gone when I caught her and scolded her good. She put her tail between her legs and looked at me like, "Who, me? I didn't do nothing..."

Lots of things in the news to comment about-the unfortunate incident where the man providing security at a WalMart lost his life on Black Friday; bailouts for the auto industry, a Wichita man arrested and charged with more than 100 counts of animal cruelty as he had numerous pit bulls chained up and starving on a farm in Okahoma; OJ going to jail; neighbors; working with children who don't know when they'll eat next at home; going to the Mosely Street Melodrama today for a Christmas party; etc etc etc. Blogs can serve many purposes-people can write about the minutia of their lives and they can express opinions about current issues. Blogs can be useful in following someone's career and daily activities. Blogs also allow people to have a glimpse into others' thoughts and feelings, and you can get to know someone fairly well from reading their blog if they have truly shared from their heart. Discussion often ensues from a posting, and this is not a bad thing-discussion is communication.

I'd like to ask those who read my blog-why do you read it? And if you have your own blog, why? What do you hope to accomplish with it? Let's discuss!

Medical Missionary

In the Friday, November 28 issue issue of the Wichita Eagle, on the front page, was an article about a man named Kevin Raymer, who is the first doctor to participate in the "International Family Medicine Fellowship", the first program of its kind to help train doctors to practice medicine in developing countries. This program is housed at Via Christi Regional Medical Center here in Wichita.

I checked out his blog, and was amazed to read of some of his experiences, as he practices medicine in a rural hospital in Zimbabwe. He is also a man of faith, and shares freely about that as well. I invite you to check it out, but a little warning-some of the pictures he posts are not for the faint of heart.

The blog address is:
http://internationalfamilymedicinefellow.blogspot.com/

In other news, after some difficulties with my washing machine drain, my two brothers are coming by this evening to work on it for me. Words are inadequate to express how grateful I am that I can call these guys to help out, and to help out with a pretty grimy job. I'm making them dinner, but that seems so inadequate! Thanks, Jay and Kevin, for all you do.

I just need a PHONE

I washed my cell phone yesterday, necessitating a visit to the local At & T cell phone store. I cannot tell you how much I dislike going over there to conduct any business-it is for me, an exercise in patience above all.

First of all, what would seem to be a simple transaction takes much longer than you think it's going to. We waited in line for almost 20 mintues for service while other people were helped, and we were the second from the beginning of the line-this with three employees helping at the desk. Secondly, the cell phone guy, a young, long-haired, earring sporting, techno-geek kind of guy, seemed to be knowledgeable, but how do I know? I always get the feeling they are pulling one over on me. All I wanted to do was buy another phone, comparable to the phone I washed. My first statement was, I just want a phone I can call out on, and can get calls on. I don't need no camera, no internet, no Bluetooth, no nothing. Just a PHONE.

He looked at me. A phone, he seemed to be thinking. She just wants a phone. He handed me a razor thin black rectangle. Here's a phone, he says. And, he adds helpfully, it has a LARGE display screen. "Does it have a camera?" I queried. And here's the next thing he said to me-"You can't buy a phone without a camera."

There ya go. Did you know that you can't buy a phone without a camera these days? I had no idea. An hour later, I walk out with an inexpensive phone, similar to my old one, but red, and with a camera. The rebate is prepared to be mailed and we are prepared for our next cell phone bill. Just because you are "eligible" for an "upgrade" doesn't mean you are gonna walk out of there without spending more money than you think you should be spending. The guy starts pulling figures out of the air-18.00 connection, 30.00 card, 50.00 phone, 10.00 rebate, do you want insurance for 50.00, (n0), do you want to upgrade your rate plan for only 20.00 more (no), it goes on and on. It is NOT cheap to wash your phone and go get another one. Can't do it.

The lesson in patience continues at home. My old phone was comfortable for me. I liked the ring. I had a lot of numbers in there. I liked everything about it - now I have this stranger I have to get to know. Thankfully, my oldest son came over for supper. He showed me how to use the camera (you never know when you want to take a picture of something someday. With your PHONE.) He helped me with the ring tone. The Hallelujah Chorus is not available on this phone, so I had pick some other ring. He put a few numbers in there. Sigh.

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Thanksgiving was very nice. We spent the afternoon and evening at Rebekah's, and enjoyed my first attempt at brining a turkey. It was delicious, and I probably shall prepare future turkeys in this same way. Very tender, and a good flavor.

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Last night we had chili for dinner and played games afterward-Josh and Dan were home. I was asked about my chili recipe, but you know, I make it different every time it seems, so there's not much point in writing it down and saying, THIS is the recipe. Today we are going up to Kevin's for more food and visiting. I hope my readers have enjoyed the last couple of days and are mindful of blessings everywhere. I have a couple of other things on my mind and may post again pretty soon, so stay tuned.

Just stuff

Today was an intense day at work. I had a staffing in another building which I've been preparing for the last couple of months and everything went rather well, considering. I'm so glad it's over and done with-it's been like a cloud hanging over me ever since I was assigned the case. Tomorrow will be a day to catch up on reports and just kind of putter, and I will certainly enjoy three days off this week.

I took Lydia to the vet last Friday evening and she has gained about 5 pounds in the last 3 weeks I've had her. Her skin infection is clearing, and she's looking much better. This evening, I let her out to the backyard after she had her dinner, and a few minutes later, I heard her barking barking barking. I went out to see what all the noise was about, and held the door open for her. She came charging in, and stood in the hallway and looked at me. "What are you barking at, Lyd?" I asked, not expecting an answer. She looked at me and barked this time at ME, as if to say, I was ready to come in you dummy!

We had a scary time last Wednesday with her, when my daughter and I were arriving home after a session at the Dog Wash. As we were getting out of the car with Lydia on her leash, two stray dogs came running up from the neighbor's yard. One was a very large bull mastiff, at least 125 pounds or more, my husband estimated. The other was a yellow lab, very large, at least 80 pounds. To make a long story short, the mastiff picked a fight with Lyd, and I ended up trapping him in the front seat of my car. Animal control came and picked up both dogs. Lydia escaped without any harm, but we filled out witness reports, and will go to court next month. My daughter was the picture of coolness and calmness during this incident, and reflecting back, I'm surprised at how emotional I got.

It has been 8 years since Coco, our last mutt, died of a heart attack in our kitchen. I've waited so long to get another dog because frankly, in one way, it's much easier to live without a dog than it is to live with one. If you don't have a dog, you don't ever have to think about the heartbreak that will come when days, months, or years down the road, this dog's life too, will be over. I asked myself on the way to work today, picturing Lydia looking at me with her ears up, why I would ever want to put myself through that again. Is it worth it?

My brother had a cute little rat terrier that was a part of his family for many years. This little dog came to an untimely end through circumstances that were no one's fault, and dog lover that he is, it was difficult for him to work through it. However, I think, I hope, that it is worth it. Lydia is already a part of this family and bonded to me-she's ornery and playful, and I have let her in. We'll see what happens.

A Special Day

Today is my 54th birthday. Not a milestone year by any means, but I'm sometimes amazed at how fast time flies by. Surely I can't be 54! Yes I can, and I am.

So I got home from work and my kids had arranged for a pizza delivery for dinner. In addition to my kids and my son-in-law, Michael and Tiffani joined us. What fun we had eating, talking, and we even played a couple of rounds of Liverpool Rummy. At around 8:00ish, Tiffani gave me a massage on her portable massage table-oh my goodness, it was really nice. After the massage I put on my flannels and joined the conversation while people were packing up to go home. It was a good day. She worked out a lot of stiffness in my shoulders and neck, and even worked on my hands-at 54, I'm having some swollen and painful joints in my fingers.

When I left school today, for just a minute or so, I was transported back in time. I walked out around 5:00 into moderately chilly conditions, with a little breeze blowing. The sun was getting low in the sky already, and the smell of wood smoke and maybe some burning leaves drifted into my senses. Oh, those smells! Immediately I thought of fall evenings at the home place, and my dad burning limbs and leaves. We sometimes made "weinie roasting" fires in the outdoor stone fire place and cooked hotdogs on cleaned tree branches or wire roasting sticks.

I was brought back to reality navigating traffic on the way home, and counted my blessings. It's been a good year, and I have much to be thankful for, especially for thoughtful kids who managed to make an ordinary birthday a great day.

Election comments

I haven't commented about the election on this blog yet, but lots of blogs I read are discussing it and other issues. It's hard to communicate sometimes in this type of venue without having people misunderstand you, and that's one reason why I don't really talk about controversial issues ("evangelist" Todd Bentley aside). But, I feel like just posting some discussion, maybe asking some questions. If you feel like commenting, I'll post every comment I get, as long as it's respectful.

Most people I work with in the educational arena are members of the Democratic party, and are Obama supporters. Most of the people I go to church with, I assume, are probably more conservative, and voted for John McCain. In my immediate family, some of us went one way, some of us went the other. I would imagine my siblings and their families were quite diverse as well. I know Christians who voted for Barack Obama, and I know Christians who voted for John McCain. Therefore, I propose the following:

1. The election is over with-the people have spoken. Like it or not, we have elected our next president, Barack Hussein Obama. He will be sworn in as our next president of the United States. Christians are exhorted to pray for our leaders, and pray for President-elect Obama, we shall do, or else we will be guilty of not being obedient to what we are called to do.

2. There are among us family members and co-workers, Christians and nonbelievers, who have varying beliefs on key issues such as universal health care, military presence in Iraq and Afghanistan, the death penalty, abortion, environmental issues, and economic relief. We will always work with, go to church with, and live with those who disagree with us about beliefs we may hold dear. There is always room for respectful discussion and respectful disagreement.

3. Speaking of discussion- should it occur about your particular beliefs, be ready to defend your viewpoints and stand up for what you believe. Make your points, but listen to opposing viewpoints. Understand that you probably will never come to a "meeting of the minds", but you can always agree to disagree and remain in positive relationships with those you have philosophical differences with.

4. Finally, as a Christian and as a political conservative, I really do understand how some of my family of faith can become upset at those who they feel have sold out their values with a vote for Mr. Obama. I do get that. There are some Christians who are convinced that we are in for quite a tough time in the next 4 years and I have concerns about this as well. Our culture is not one that respects life, there have been millions of abortions in the last 20 years. We have turned from worshipping the Creator to worshipping the creation, we allow all manner of violence and filth into our living rooms via our cable connections, and we strive after things we think will make us happy at all costs. What conclusion can we come to? It is, obviously, that the political process will not save us from ourselves. Those who put their faith in any political leader no matter who it is, are seriously deluded. I fear that these days, we Christians are not salt and light, we are just like the world we live in and we are growing prouder of our sinfulness every minute. We have failed to live our lives with integrity, so why do we expect that our political leaders will?

Final comments:
No matter who you voted for, if you call yourself a follower of Jesus, then the question remains:
How does one life a life worthy of Him who gave His life for you? The New Testament exhorts us that if indeed, we are Christians, we should shun evil, coarse conversations, gossip, and backbiting. The Apostle Paul challenges us to think about those things that are admirable, lovely, and good. Indeed, as James so eloquently states in his epistle, faith merely spoken of without actions to back it up, is dead. And so I exhort you, dear reader, that your character, who you are when no one is looking, is worth more than you can imagine, because although we your friends and family may not see or know your thoughts, the Father does. And your reputation with your family and friends is priceless - live then, as if you will be called to account tomorrow. This is living a life of integrity. It's rare these days, even inside the walls of the church.

So this is Lydia. My daughter took this picture at her first vet visit a week ago last Saturday. There are other pictures of her which show better what awful shape she was in. I'm so glad she took these because you can really see much improvement in this dog in just this short time of treatment, a good diet, and rest. If I get brave I'll post some before and after pics.

Lydia

Those of you who read my brother's blog have already read that I adopted an abandoned dog last weekend. I guess, not a big deal in the big picture, but kind of a big deal to me. When we were kids growing up, we always had dogs-I'm not sure if it was more my mom's idea or my dad's-I would guess mom's. When I had my own kids, we started out with Snapper, a dog someone gave my husband. Soon, Mickey joined Snapper-Mickey was a shepherd mix puppy-I'm not sure where we got her. Snapper and Mickey were given away a couple of years later and we every once in awhile, would feed a stray dog or have one given to us. We adopted a couple from the Humane Society with varying success. We had a dog we had to give up during an economic downturn when the kids were little-if you can't afford to buy groceries, you can't afford to feed a dog.

The last dog we owned I've written about before-she was found with her littermates in a park near where my husband worked. We had been without a dog for awhile, and decided to give her a chance. She lived in our chaos for 10 years and died unexpectedly of a heart attack in the kitchen one evening. That was in September of 2001.

Seven years later, I was doing ok without having a dog, and really hadn't planned on getting another one, and as the thought crossed my mind from time to time, I dismissed it with the notion that I wouldn't ever go looking for a dog, and that when one who needed a family would cross my path, I would know it.

Lydia crossed my path a week ago Friday. She was hanging around over at my brother's house, and what a sight she was. Skinny, hair in patches, and the smell-oh my, she smelled. I went to QT and bought a couple of cans of dog food as she was miserably hungry, and fed her in his backyard. My intention was to take her to the Kansas Humane Society the next day, which was Saturday. As I drove over to pick her up Saturday morning, I had my daughter with me to help hold her in the car, and we discussed options. By Saturday afternoon, I had this dog at my house, having taken her to a vet who happened to be open. She passed the first two tests at the vet's office-if she had heartworms, I was done. If she had mange, I was done. She had neither.

So it's been a week of adjusting to and getting to know this dog. She has some problems-the vet said that every tooth in the front of her jaw is either broken or cracked. She's malnourished, and has a bacterial skin infection, mites, and some fungus. She's on antibiotic pills, a good diet, and gets a bath with a medicated shampoo twice a week. (Did you know there is a self-service Dog Wash here in town?) After all that, she STILL reeks. She isn't spayed, so we'll take care of that, but first, we have to determine her dental problems. I can't afford hundreds of dollars in dental bills, but we can get her assessed for free at the "dog dentist" and will see what we need to do. She appears to be eating ok. Because she doesn't have much hair, she will not be able to stay outside once it turns cold at night. Someone gave us an igloo doghouse, so today, I'll get a hose and wash it out, dry it, and see if I can make some bedding for her in there.

I've seen some vomiting (that's so lovely when a dog does it), so I'm not sure what that is about. She tends to wolf down her food, and has some scavenging behaviors due to what the vet estimates are about 3 months of living on her own. She is very needy, and when I come home from work or even if I haven't been gone that long, she is beside herself with delirious excitement to greet me-she can't believe I've come back. So she jumps on me, so we're working on that. She has begun barking at people who come up to the house, not a nasty bark but just a-you don't belong here and I'm letting mom know, bark.

Even if we are not able to keep her because of the dental work or other health problems which may crop up. I feel better knowing that she's lived well and been taken care of the last few weeks of her life. She's a nice girl, and will be a good companion. I kinda hope it works out that she can stay.

A broken camel

I'm sure you've heard of the old adage, "The straw that broke the camel's back." Well, I became a broken camel on Wednesday of this week. A little thing, a sort of minor thing, a not really big major thing, broke this camel's neck. I told someone I really didn't see it coming, but I'm not sure that's entirely true. In looking back, I think there were symptoms, I just chose to ignore them, thinking I could handle things. As a famous person once said, "How's that working for you?"

Thursday, I went to work in the morning, but by late morning, was really needing some intervention, so I took a 1/2 day off. What a wonderful day it was! I went to lunch with the old man and got outside to walk around Riverside Park. I went to the church and played the grand piano from 1:30 to almost 4:00. Came home and potted up some houseplants, ordered pizza for supper, and enjoyed the rest of the evening. Friday morning, I went back to work ready to face things, and to speak to the principal about my meltdown. She was understanding, and things were okay.

Last night we enjoyed a time at my brother's house, sort of celebrating with him and my other brother an event which could be a little sad, but in actuality, is just a part of life. Due to circumstances and events, he ended up owning the home place we grew on, located in another county, and although he raised his family there, the property in recent years became rundown and needed vast amounts of labor-intensive work. My brother moved away from it several years ago and rented it out, which is sort of the kiss of death for any property you own unless you can manage to monitor it well, but he, having moved 200 miles away, wasn't able to do that. So for the first time in possibly almost a hundred years, there is no one from our immediate family owning any land or interest in Harper County. But the house had truly become what he called"an albatross", so he was glad to sell it.

Well, time to get going. Have a great weekend.

In times like these

I got up this Sunday morning, and was for some reason, confused about the time. Have you ever been disoriented about what time it is? I was thinking as I was taking my shower that Daylight Saving Time ended today at 2:00am, and that we failed to set the clocks back. Quickly I made several decisions based on this information: I could let my husband sleep in a little longer before waking him up-the poor man with his two jobs certainly could use it. I could spend the hour since I was already up, doing something productive. I wondered how many people would get to church early. I thought about calling my daughter-her husband had to be to work at 7:00am this morning. I thought about calling my son-he's working today. I signed on to the computer to confirm my inclination and yes, the time in the lower right hand corner said 6:30am. "I knew it!" I thought to myself.

But something gnawed in my brain. Was it really 6:30am? I was beginning to experience what psychologists call "cognitive dissonance". This phenomenon occurs when new information does not seem to match or jive with prior information you have stored in your gray cells and you begin to be vaguely aware that something is amiss somewhere in your thinking process. I decided to do a google search of "Daylight Saving Time 2008". Then I really had cognitive dissonance. DST doesn't end until NEXT Sunday at 2:00am. I have no idea why the time on my computer is an hour early-it must have to do with the IE program-perhaps it was already fixed to change the last Sunday in October. Now how to change the time on the computer is another issue. OOO-it only took this computer tech dinosaur three clicks to figure it out!

Speaking of cognitive dissonance, did you read about the woman from Japan who killed her virtual-reality husband's avatar and was arrested? She wasn't arrested for killing the avatar, she was arrested for trespassing with his password into the reality computer game they were participating in. An avatar is a persona you take on when you participate in online computer games. Apparently, there are several popular games you can play which are interactive with people around the world-you (or rather your avatars) can live together in communities, and my son in law was telling me last night that one of the most popular games is one which you can live in other worlds and universes. Anyhow, in this game, this woman's avatar was married to this man's avatar, and they were living together in this virtual reality computer game. Apparently, the man's avatar divorced the woman's avatar rather suddenly, leaving the avatar homeless. The REAL woman behind her avatar grew so enraged at how her computer persona was treated that she hacked into the game with the REAL man's password and had his avatar commit suicide.

When I was talking about this with my daughter over lunch, she blithely told me that back in the day when she was participating in this sort of thing, she allowed one of her avatars to go swimming in the pool and then took the ladder out to see if it would drown, which it did. There was a funeral service and cremation, and the urn was displayed prominently in the home that this avatar lived in.

Online gaming is the fastest growing industry in the world-bar none. There are millions of people worldwide who for hours a day, live in these imaginary kingdoms, worlds, and communities and create a life's existence which they have created to be more fulfilling than their REAL life is. I realize for some, it's entertainment, but I cannot imagine first of all, having the time to devote to it, and secondly, wasting the time it takes to devote to it. However, there is a certain advantage of living in a virtual reality world, and that is, I can be in control of what happens to me. I can dispense justice, take revenge, and get rid of those I'm angry with. Even the guy whose avatar was done away with can in about a minute, create a new one. In virtual reality worlds, the players can be "god", and I would hypothesize that this is why they are so popular. Comments?

I'm glad I can type a "subject" in here....

Many times, I feel as if I am an Edsel in a world of 2009 BMWs when it comes to computer technology. Just recently my son completed an upgrade on our desktop here in the front room. He was able to save all my favorites and icons but I had to re-install Yahoo Messenger. Of course, I now have the latest version of that, which, I hate, and, a new version of IE (I believe it's 7), which I also deplore. These new versions are supposed to make my life easier, but alas, they do not. One of the most glaring things is that when I compose an email from my Yahoo email address, the subject line is un-enterable. The field is there, but it's not open to put anything in it. I sent an email to Yahoo Help, and received, I assume, a computer generated reply to try several things, all of which will take more time and patience than I currently have at my disposal. If any of you reading this blog could think of anything to tell me to do, please let me know. It's not the end of the world, but it's a little thing that's making me crazy. I once had a superior return an email to me, chastizing me for not having a subject line in it. I still work for this superior and I think about that every time I send one out, particularly to her, although, I of course, I use my work email address so there's no problem. It's just that I THINK about it. Every time.

It's Sunday morning. After laying awake most of the night, I'm now up and thinking about activities ahead in this day. Church. Lunch. Choir practice. Women's group. Evening services. I hope for a nap, but that's not happening today. I see from "Sunday Morning" that Charles Osgood is broadcasting from the Phildelphia Zoo. Time to get coffee and go see what Charlie's got on his agenda. Have a good day, all.

Overheard Office Conversations

Receptionist: What are the new shirts made out of?
Clerk: They're 100% cotton.
Receptionist: Cotton? That's the stuff that grows on sheep, right?
Clerk: No, cotton comes from rabbits. That's why they're called cottontails.

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Regional Director: So our biggest problem last year was we tried to take over the whole world, and the whole world is a big place. We need to think small, concentrate on taking over individual countries first...like Wisconsin.

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Bookkeeper: What is Susan's last name?

Office Manager: Susan who?

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Co-worker: I don't really pay that much attention to politics. I mean, I don't even know the difference between a Republican and a Dominican.

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Tech: Okay, now right-click there.

Admin: Here?

Tech: No, right-click. Right there.

Admin: Okay...

Tech: No, get rid of that. Right-click. Right there. Right-click. Right-click...Which button are you clicking?

Admin: The left one.

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Office Manager: It's like apples and oranges: they are all the same.

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Office worker: The paper coming out of the printer is really hot! It's never been that hot before. Can we do something to cool it down?

Tech: Oh, I forgot! I put the summer paper in there! I'll switch to the winter paper! Give me 10 minutes.

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Sales Manager: You are really getting on my nerves today!

General Manager: Good, I can cross that off my list!

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Tech on phone: Okay, go ahead and type in your password...Yep, just type it in...In the password field...Just type it...With your keyboard...Should be right in front of you... Has letters on it...Great!

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Receptionist: Do you have any extra wireless cords?

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Originator: Two charts are just great. Very helpful. Two is a lot more than one.

VP: Yeah, it's like twice as much.

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HR #1: Why would anyone agree to take on more responsibility if we're not going to pay them more?

HR #2: We're giving them more projects to work on that will be more advanced than what they're working on right now. I think people look for a challenge and they will be willing to take on more responsibility if it promises to be rewarding. Besides, most of them are in their twenties and need to start somewhere. So you see, we really are paying them more...in experience.

HR #1: Who is ever going to fall for that?

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Worker #1: Do you have any time available to meet on Thursday?

Worker #2: It will be pretty tough; I have back to back meetings all day.

Worker #1: How about 11AM?

Worker #2: Okay, I have nothing scheduled at all between 9AM and 5PM.

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Co-worker: If I didn't have so much to do, I would get a lot more done.

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Employee on phone: Yeah, that's a little redundant.

Boss: You can say that again.

Attention Getters

Things which have caught my attention recently:

The weather. I cannot remember in recent history, such a temperate September and October. Daytime temps remain in the 70's and 80's, with cooler temperatures in the evenings, but we aren't even running the furnace much yet. I think I had it on a few mornings ago when I woke up to a house that was kind of chilly.

My youngest son. He's now a working man. He takes his lunch every day, using a vinyl lunch bag he wouldn't have been caught dead carrying a couple of years ago. Even when he worked at WSU and took his lunch, he ate mostly frozen dinners and took them in a plastic grocery bag. And made fun of people who TOOK lunch bags. But now, he's come over to the dark side and is stuffing a lunch bag with food every day. (However, I just now heard him in the kitchen muttering to himself..."I'm not in the mood for this lunch today".)

The book, "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" by Mark Gungor. The title is cheesy, but the premise is interesting. I have not agreed with everything he's said but it's been entertaining. I wonder if he's been married for as long as I have. I understand that he's a pastor, and I try to imagine my pastor saying some of the things this guy says in his book. Hmmm. I don't think so. I recommend it for the entertainment factor, if nothing else.

The election and everything that goes with it. What is there to say, except, God help us all. But I have enjoyed Tina Fey's impersonation of Sarah Palin-she's a dead ringer for her and has the voice to boot. (Alaska IS near Russia, doncha know...)

Lower gas prices. Thanks be to God, I can fill up for a little more than 50.00 now. I don't know why the price of oil is falling so fast, and you can read a million opinions on it. One thing I do know, it's temporary. This economy is on a roller coaster ride and we just need to hang on the best we can.

Speaking of roller coasters, I rode one for the first time in many years last weekend at Silver Dollar City. It was called the "Powder Keg". It gave me a neck ache and heartburn. You know you're an old geezer when a roller coaster produces acid reflux which lasts for hours. Tums sorta helped. However, I did very much enjoy riding the "Lost River Rapids", with 2 brothers and a husband. We ended up so wet we wrang our socks out afterwards, but what a perfect two days we had at Silver Dollar City, weather-wise and just overall, a lot of fun.

That's all for now. Have a good weekend.

Don't have a heart attacked, I'm posting. It's not that there isn't anything going on, I think that it's because I just feel overwhelmed at what life is throwing at me these days. Some of it I can write about, some of it, I can't.

I'm in the throes of a cold/allergies and all that goes with it. The last two days I've worked half days and done only what I absolutely had to do, so there's a lot at the job that didn't get done. It will await me as I go back on Monday. When you don't feel well physically, you don't feel well mentally either, so it'll probably be a struggle.

The weather now is absolutely exceptional. Warm days, cool nights. Last Saturday I nearly wrecked myself doing yard work, but I so much enjoyed getting out.

A familiar refrain from a more contemporary song implanted itself in my brain today, and is helping me keep my sanity when things are not sane. It is this:

When I think I'm goin' under,

Part the waters, Lord.

When I feel the waves around me,

Calm the sea.

When I cry for help O hear me Lord

And hold out your hand,

Touch my life,

Still the raging storm in me.

by Annie Hawks & Robert Lowery

There is nothing we can hold on to in this life except our belief that God is. The Great I Am is. When others fail, when things fall apart, when people let us down, we come back to the foundation of our faith, that He is. No matter what you are going through, I hope your beliefs are anchored in the One who never changes, and who is always faithful to do what He says.

Here's proof

This lovely picture (don't I look excited!) is me holding the first fish I caught in many, many years when we were on vacation in Michigan this summer. It was slimy and sort of blech, with tiny teeth you had to avoid when you held it up by the mouth. I threw him back-I'm not a fish MURDERER, just a fish catcher.

Harry

Rev. Harry V. Moratto went to heaven a few days ago, and today is his memorial service. I wanted to write a little bit about this man and the complicated relationship he and I shared, especially the last 2 or 3 years.

But first, a word about Harry's wife, Marjorie. She left us a little more than 2 years ago, and the role she lived woven throughout almost 20 years of friendship was one of mentor, advisor, friend, coach, cheerleader, encourager, teacher-she was all these and more. She was truly one of the wisest people I've ever known. But one of her other roles, unseen, came to light after her death.

Although Harry gave his life in service-he was a pastor and his last place of service was chaplain at a local youth facility for 24 years- he was loudly heard in issues of church management. He was bold, confrontive, and freely gave his opinion on any matter to anyone who would listen. Many times, he did not agree with things said and done, and would let people know how he felt. In doing so, Harry often upset people. He was not the most tactful person.

While Marjorie was living, she was the soothing oil that balanced Harry's sharp-edged personality. He often would temper his comments if she were present, and she, the ever gracious wife would always understand him with grace. I looked at Harry as I would a father figure in my life, and I felt that he loved me as a daughter-while Marjorie was here to smooth ruffled feathers and add perspective to his blustery personality.

But when God called her home and it was just him, there was no soothing oil to heal the rough edges. Within a few weeks of her passing, he and I worked together on a project at church and became at cross-purposes, as they say. He was characteristically rough and straight-forward in his assessment of the situation. My feelings were hurt and I withdrew. Without her here to facilitate communication, Harry and I became estranged. We went to the same church, sat in the same sanctuary, met in the hallways with stiff hellos, and ignored each other. After many weeks, I confronted him one day after church and asked him to forgive me for whatever I did to make him upset. He didn't want to talk about it, and didn't.

From that point on, I let him go, I let everything go, I gave up. There was nothing more I could do to heal the gulf. And, I prayed about it-I got no further word from God about what else I could do to make things right. It was up to him to do so or not.

I decided that no matter what happened, our relationship would be healed. If he came forward to discuss things with me, we'd reconcile. If he went to heaven, we would reconcile there. No matter what, we would be okay.

I can play at his funeral today, knowing that things are okay between us. I have a great deal of respect for him and the work he did-but a few battle scars, too. I would imagine many people would describe knowing him in those words. But, all is well now.

The first day of school

Yesterday was the first day of school in the large, urban district I work for. I spent the day organizing my office, cleaning out files, etc. There won't be a lot to do with kids until we get rolling with child study team meeting next week. However, I did have an experience with a child I will recount here. I sent this in an email to a couple of siblings and as I was writing it I thought, that would make a good blog post! So here ya go.

Kenny's* First Day

So, I'm sitting here having my lunch (leftover pizza) and thinking about my day so far. I'm supposed to be here by 8:40, but I always come early. Today I got here at 8:00 or so, and as I walked down the hallway, I saw a young boy sitting forlornly on the bench outside my office door. I went to my office as I had some things in my hands, then came back to sit beside him and visit. Kenny is in the 3rd grade, new to this school. He looks like he's about 8. Kids are not supposed to be at school before 8:30 (if they are eating breakfast) and if they aren't eating breakfast, they aren't to be here before 8:45 (the bell rings at 8:50), thus the reason for my conversation with him. I wanted to know why he had come so early to school.

Kenny told me that his mom and dad leave for work at 2:00am, and that he has an older brother, 17, who's supposed to be taking care of him. The brother leaves for high school at around 7:15. This means Kenny is alone from then until time for him to walk to school. Did I mention he's 8 years old? So, on this, his first day, at a NEW school, he was here at least 45 minutes early. No parent to walk him to his class, to give him a goodbye hug, to tell him to have a good day, to reassure him that things would be just fine here at his new school. That responsibility fell to me. And so, the little boy with the longer, curly brown hair and freckles, and sad eyes became my friend today. I asked Kenny to help me bring in some things from the car, and I introduced him to our counselor, who visited with him about what route to walk to school, and when he should leave in the morning. I found his teacher and told her the story, and she came to meet him and reassure him that she would make it a great day for him. After I have the last bite of pizza, I'm going to find him in the lunchroom to see how things are going with him. I don't know anything about Kenny's parents, and I'm trying so very hard not be judgmental. But they missed a special time with their son today that I had the privilege of having. I wonder if they know that.

*Not his real name

Belt Tightening

In the next couple of weeks ahead, the spouse and I are going to be taking a look at our financial situation and examining once again, our buying habits. At least for us, this is never a pleasant process, so it's not something I'm looking forward to. Because I worked only part time several years while I went back to school, we amassed some credit card debt as well as school loans. Three years ago or so, he got a second job to help pay this debt down faster, and although we are doing okay, we do not seem to making progress. I think one of the reasons is that we haven't been budgeting as carefully as we should so we're spending close to what we make, and not applying everything we could to the debt we've accrued. Also, although we aren't big credit card users, we do once in awhile-when we think we have to. We haven't, as many financial advisors insist, cut them up or closed our accounts. And, I think there's a universal principal in force here, and that is, no matter what you make, whether it's 6K, 60K, or 600K, if you aren't careful, you will tend to live at or above your means.

To this end, I've been reading and listening to a number of experts on this issue-Dave Ramsey (both on the radio and online), Suzi Orman (on cable 53 and I picked up her latest book at a thrift store (ha!), and then lately, I've been reading a book by Mary Hunt called "Debt-Proof Your Marriage", and looking at her website, www.cheapskatemonthly.com. Managing a budget and living within your means is NOT rocket science, yet, all three of these people have considerable financial wealth bestowed on them by people like me, who want to learn how to handle money better. (Ironic, isn't it...)

So, we now are asking those tough questions that you must ask when you reassess your money situation-do we need a newspaper subscription at 16.00 a month? How about cable (we have the basic package, or maybe one tier up). Internet? Bottled water? Soda pop (even if it's diet)? Going out to eat with family on Friday nights? We're fortunate in that we drive old cars, and don't have a car payment or high insurance/taxes, but one of these days, one of those old cars is going to bite the dust. Then what?

Since there are people who make 600K struggling financially, as well as those who make much less, I don't know that it's a matter of how much money you have coming in-however, there are many families who are really experiencing some economic hardship these days, battling continual price increases of both gas and food. I visited with a woman yesterday who came in to our church to place an order for Angel Food. She said she has a good job (she works at Spirit Aerosystems), but supports 5 kids and a disabled husband, who is not able to work right now. She was grateful to be ordering a couple of units of food, which was going to be helpful for her and her family. We also had some Hawker Beechcraft strikers come in to order, and we welcome them, but that's another topic for another time.

Anyhow, time to go make breakfast on this Sunday morning. I'm grateful for the ability to work, for a job to go to tomorrow morning, for family, for old cars that run, for old houses that are liveable, and for life itself. May all of you reading this have a blessed week!

Porch Update

So, we just got back from Wisconsin, having gone to retrieve our youngest son and his belongings. He spent the summer with a farm family, trying to find work in Green Bay and getting to know better a young lady that someday may join our family. He was unsuccessful in his attempts to find a job, however, the relationship he went to pursue seems to be another story. But we're glad to have him back here, and are encouraging his efforts to find work and get his own place.

We got back yesterday afternoon, and so last night we took our 3 adult children out for dinner and just enjoyed being together. After dinner we came back here and played Bananagrams, plus, I got to introduce them to a game from my childhood, ta da! "Stadium Checkers"! As you might guess, they no longer manufacture this rather odd game of strategy - this one I bought from an EBAY seller was made in 1952. It consists of several concentric plastic rings, each one larger than the last-hence, it looks like a minature sports stadium. Each ring has several "pockets". Players put 5 marbles in the "nosebleed" section of the stadium and begin taking turns moving the rings and dropping the marbles into the pockets. The goal is to get all your marbles dropped in your correct tunnel in the very center of the rings, and to thwart your opponnets efforts by causing them to drop their marble into the wrong hole down at the bottom, and thus, starting over at the top of the stadium. My techno-savvy, 21st century offspring thought this game was extraordinarily fun. I couldn't believe it.

We then sat outside on the porch in the dark and waited with our daughter for her husband to pick her up as he was attending a function at Century II. The weather was perfect- a little breeze, and temps in the lower 70's - and the talking and laughter probably disturbed the next door neighbors, although we didn't intend to. What a great evening! I wouldn't take a million dollars for that time we spent together last night. Once again, the porch became a place which created a good memory for all of us.

The power of water

One of my more ambitious projects for the summer has been to get our screened-in porch more usable. When the kids were younger it became a repository for skates, muddy shoes, bikes, and various projects in progress. As they became teens, the porch was a place where many evening and late night talks occurred. There was just something about sitting in the dark that fostered communication, and all our kids had many "opportunities" to visit with mom or dad or both about life issues out on that porch. When our kids had friends over, they gathered on the porch. Several "rat boys" (my son-in-law is not among that group!) came calling on our daughter and visited her on the porch, and who can forget Joshua and his friend Nathan hanging around out there, talking about girls, jobs, money, and whatever else.

We've always had a grill out there and used it a lot. There are no mosquitos or moths as the old man did a good job of building screens for it. In the summer, it's shaded all the time except for first thing in the morning. I've stood out there and watched torrential rain, sleet, big fat snowflakes come down, and blizzards - unless the wind is blowing hard, it's a dry porch. For that reason, it was not only a good place for our inside cat to go and hang out out (she thought she was actually outside) but it sheltered strays (remember the gray cat that had kittens?) and was a great place for a furry wet dog who was afraid of thunder to hide out on.

The old man has never had a workshop to put his tools, so, the porch became his tool shed. In recent years, the clutter on the porch has just made me sort of crazy, SO, to that end, we bought a new shed with a workbench which was installed for the man in the backyard. He has most of his things moved out there at this point, and most of my garden stuff is out there.

Last night, he installed a swing in front, and as we sat there, I told him that we need to start thinking of the porch as another room to our house, and to that end, it needs cleaning and sprucing up pretty badly. So this morning, I hauled out the garden hose and turned the nozzle to "jet". I took all the plants off the porch and with the power of pressured water, did a little cleaning. Down came the cobwebs in the corner, off came the mud, dirt, and grime from the screened in window sills, as well as PAINT. Yes, when you clean, you discover other problems you didn't know you had. The paint peeled off the sills in droves, so that's a fall project waiting to happen. I jetted the welcome mat and around the front door. I squirted the windows in the front room that look out to the east side of the porch. I tried rinsing the screens but wasn't too successful. And, I set the plants out in the front and gave them all a nice soaking shower.

Water from a nozzle-it took me only a half an hour to clean filth that had accumlated for 20 years. There ya go.

Opinions please?

So how are you? I hope my readers are doing well and enjoying the summer. Some of my readers are also bloggers who have not seen "Blogger Dashboard" in a very long time and you know who you are. Get to work! Post something! Please?

I told my sister that I was going to leave Todd Bentley alone (just temporarily) and "rant" about something else, and actually, I have two things to mention today. First, I saw in the newspaper yesterday that the coach of the KU Jayhawks, Mark Mangino, received a little raise for the new season. How does $800,000 a year sound? That puts Mangino's salary at $2.3 million annually, and a contract extension to 2012. If he wins another championship, he earns another $225,000. I'm just as big a Jayhawk fan as you are, and was thrilled that they were victorious in the Orange Bowl, and I get that we should pay our coaches competively-I get all that. This reminds me of a recent conversation on a back patio regarding the "must win at all costs" value that colleges place on recruiting the best athletes and on the success of their athletic programs, while academic programs end up on the short end of the financial stick in terms of hiring the best professors, funding research programs, and encouraging students in more scholarly pursuits which may better society as a whole, i.e., cancer research. What do you think? Michael, I especially seek your input-as a rabid Jayhawk fan who probably feels Mangino is worth every copper penny he's paid. Help me, a middle-aged woman who is only a rabid fan of table and card games, understand this (!)

The second rant will wait another day, but it deals with the column recently written in the Eagle by columnist Brent Castillo. Here's a link for you out of towners:

http://www.kansas.com/opinion/castillo/story/465759.html

You may have to copy and paste-I don'tthink I've got the hyperlink thing going here.

Don't be deceived

It's been so cool here since Saturday maybe...that I've not had the AC on. I'm sure WestStar Energy hates this weather just like the gas company hates moderating weather in the winter time. I pulled weeds out of the front flower bed early this morning and since then have just kind of puttered around. I've got some things to do, I just don't have a lot of energy.

I have to go back to work REALLY soon, and my carefree days will come to an end. If I recall, last year, I was ready to get back to work. I came to a point where I sort of missed my colleagues and not only them, but the work that I've been trained to do. Most of the time, I enjoy my job. I'll be starting my 3rd year at the same two schools, and with every evaluation I do, my skills improve. I did not graduate knowing how to do the job. School doesn't teach you time management or setting priorities or discussing sensitive topics with expertise, or getting along with principals - that comes with actually working. The National Association of School Psychologists says it takes 5 years of experience to become a well-versed, competent practitioner and 5 more years to become an "expert". I believe it.

I read an interesting article yesterday from a little newspaper called "The Chronicle", published here in Wichita. The article was on a fast growing ministry in Lakeland Florida headed by a man named Todd Bentley. Apparently, this charismatic preacher began revival meetings on April 2, and intended only to be there for a week, but on July 9 finally wrapped things up. This man has some strange ideas which are rather controversial and which deserve a second or third glance. Some of his claims: he has been visited by many angels, he has seen Jesus in the flesh, he has visited the "third heaven" and seen the Apostle Paul's cabin, where, just in case you were wondering, Paul told him that he and Moses together wrote the book of Hebrews. Oh, and did I mention the angel "Emma", who visited him and sprinkled him with some sort of gold dust, indicating he would achieve financial success as well. Just 3 weeks after the visitation, he received the largest offering he had ever received to that point in his ministry, thousands of dollars (he declined to be specific).

His ministry also claims to be healing people. A local pastor from Hesston went to Florida and states he was healed, as well as several of his congregants - the pastor himself made two visits.

Google Todd Bentley and you will find info on Wikipedia about him, as well as the FreshFire website, and http://www.toddbentley.org/, which states that he is a false prophet (I guess those that put the website up decided to capture that domain using his name before he could, knowing that people will search there first.)

Come on, people. There will be many who come in Jesus' name, and who will dispense false teachings, telling people what they want to hear instead of the truth. Mr. Bentley is in the same ranks as Creflo Dollar, Joel Olsteen, Kenneth Copeland, Benny Hinn, and many others who teach questionable doctrine, but yet, who are laughing all the way to the bank with your money. Be wise as serpents! Know what you believe! Test everything you hear, even from your own church pulpit. Your church leaders should welcome the opportunities for people to scrutinize and examine what is said - and question it if necessary. Don't accept "warm-spit" doctrine.

Family

One of my siblings told me recently, "You get behind in writing in your blog, then you spend a whole paragraph apologizing." Well. Ok. No apologies coming!

The last couple of weeks I've been getting ready for a 3 day yard sale - it was actually at my daughter's house, but I contributed a lot of my "junque" to it. I didn't sell nearly as much as she did, but I got rid of some stuff. That's a lot of work. THEN, we left last Tuesday for a trip to Wisconsin to pick up my youngest son and to head to Michigan for our annual family get together at my oldest brother's place. We had a great time, and are back 8 days later, today. Tonight we got together with our kids who couldn't go and visited about our trip, and ended up playing several rounds of a new game I got-"Bananagrams".

There are six siblings in our family. We are all married, and we all have children. Three of my brothers have grandchildren, so our family is growing-it seems that every year or two, we welcome new additions, either by birth or by marriage. If I counted right, there are 44 of us in this large extended family - 30 came to the reunion this year. With this large of a group, there is much opportunity for visiting and sometimes,
interesting discussion ensues. It became rather apparent at this reunion during some of discussion time that between the six of us siblings who were all raised by the same parents in the same church, there appears to be some pretty diverse viewpoints on several key doctrinal issues.

The six "in-laws" that married into this family bring their own opinions and viewpoints as well, and, our children and grandchildren as they become adults certainly will decide for themselves what they believe. What they choose may be very different from the religious teaching they received from us as they were growing up.

I was a little taken aback by some of the beliefs one of my siblings shared during our visiting. I think that those participating in the discussion were able to do so without offense, but I would never ever want to allow these differences to pull us apart. That's what scares me about these kinds of discussions. It's a challenge to not respond from your emotions when the foundational beliefs you hold true are being questioned. I ended up feeling ill-prepared to defend those core truths my whole belief system rests upon, and that's not a comfortable feeling. But I think it's good for me to feel that way.

I continue to pray for all 43 of you in this family - Max, Sherri, Kyle, Kerry, Theresa, Caley, Regan, Dennis, Ruth, Sherrill, Gary, Greg, Wil, Reid, Debra, Mark, Luke, Haley, Chris, TK, Chandler, Tatum, Jay, Pat, Michael, Katie, Scott, Laura, Rachel, Gabriel, Bruce, Rebekah, Jason, Joshua, Daniel, Linda, Terry, John, Anna, Kevin, Deanna, Nicole, and Michele. You are important to me.

Sorry I've been remiss

So my sister says to me, "Are ya gonna blog sometime, or am I gonna have to quit going to your page to check it out?" She should talk, she blogs about once a month. So yes, I need to blog. I've been pretty busy, but all the same, it's time to get to writing.

I have been in a cleaning project, trying to get some things ready for my daughter's yard sale, and just going through stuff. I've thrown some things out (do we really need to keep receipts for car repairs on cars we haven't owned in 2 or 3 years?) and a few days ago, I coerced the Man into sitting at the desk and going through a large pile of keys-I found several sets in the desk drawers, and a few behind a partition in the top drawer-like a secret stash. And lo and behold, what should appear from behind the partition-a lost set of keys to a Ford van we owned several years ago. I remember looking everywhere for those keys, and now, 5 years later, I find them.

As part of this cleaning out, I've found several old cassette tapes and have been listening to them-one of my mother and my daughter when she was about 2, another one of New Year's wishes from I think 1982 when some of our family was gathered at my mother's sister's home, one titled the "Plank Family Singers", one of a conference call between us siblings in 1984, and one that my dad made in 1982 talking about his early years. I'm going to give them to my brother, who says he can digitize them and burn them cd-tapes are pretty fragile after 20 years. I don't know if my children will even be interested in listening to these, but I was fascinated to hear my dad's voice again, telling stories about riding a horse to school, about their first car in 1917, and of my mother and my aunt expressing their hopes for the new year in 1982.

Between these tapes and reading my brother's post about sounds he remembers at night from the home place, I'm feeling pretty nostalgic. Hearing those sounds and being comforted by them is what drives me to escape from the city-I hear owls and trains where I'm at, but it's all the other stuff that crowds in that I don't wanna hear (and see) which makes me crazy. Recently I've heard a loud car drive several times up and down the street, heard yelling between car windows as two cars passed by each other in front of my house, and saw (and heard) a man relieving himself in my neighbor's yard after too much to drink. There are days I can't stand it, and then, I make myself say, "I choose to be content where I am and with what I have, until such time that I am moved..." And that's the end of that story.

Independence

The first week of "vacation" has come and gone, and here it is, already Tuesday of the second week. The past couple of days my son and his serious relationshipee from Wisconsin, the lovely Dara, have been visiting, and we have enjoyed seeing them. On Sunday, our congregation also enjoyed hearing him play Handel's "Largo" on the organ, and an arrangement of "Sanctuary" on the piano for the offertory. They are on their way back to Dara's home, and probably some cooler temperatures than what it is here in Kansas.

I've done some yard work yesterday and today, but as usual, it was a frustrating experience. I did spray for weeds and plant some flowers, however, I did not complete 2 tasks I had in mind. The first was to start the tiller and plow up a little spot out here in front of the house for more flower planting. You would think that a grown woman, with relatively normal arm and hand strength, would be able to start a 2 cycle tiller. It's one of the little ones that you see elderly people pushing along in advertisements. Try as I might, however, I was not able to rip the cord with enough power to start the engine. I even read the directions regarding priming, and where to place my left hand, yadda yadda, but to no avail. Now the lawn mower, I do have problems starting it-it's a bigger engine and I have to yank really hard. It takes several tries, and I'm exhausted by the time it's running. But this tiller-I'm just disgusted that I can't start it. I stood out there and wondered what I would do if I had no spouse or son to call in order to help me get it going. It happens that Josh will be over tomorrow to mow, so I'm going to have him give me tiller lessons, but sheesh.

Secondly, the Man told me this morning before he went to work just where I could find a box of edging to finish a project I had started. I thought, well, if I can't till, I can work on that. Did I find the edging? No. Is it where he said it was? No. Is in anywhere on our property? No. I spent time looking for that, and again, failed in my quest. By now, it's 10:00 and getting warm out, so I guess I'm done outside for the day until evening.

I really hate being dependent on someone for something. I think to myself, the last thing I want to become, if something happens to the Man, is a woman who cannot mow, trim, start tillers, replace toilet seats, caulk, or change furnace filters. If I had to do it by myself, then I'd better know how to do it. It's nice to have someone to do it for you, if they don't mind, but there's something to be said about living independently and managing your own business if you are physically able to do so. My young friend Candace, a single person, bought a house a couple of years ago. She told me a few months ago that if she doesn't do the repairs, they don't get done, so she's learned to do a lot of that maintenance stuff all on her own. I admire her and that streak of independence. Although I loved my mother, I think she was semi-helpless when it came to taking care of stuff like that. If my dad would have passed on before her, she would not have been able to do a lot of that herself, but-then again, maybe she would have surprised me (and herself).

In my quest for independence, I'm going to sign up for tiller lessons from my son. Maybe along this line, I'll have him show me how to check the oil in my car (I have a vague idea) and put water in the radiator. I am woman, hear me......bleat like a sheep when things need done. Will that be my theme?