Independence

The first week of "vacation" has come and gone, and here it is, already Tuesday of the second week. The past couple of days my son and his serious relationshipee from Wisconsin, the lovely Dara, have been visiting, and we have enjoyed seeing them. On Sunday, our congregation also enjoyed hearing him play Handel's "Largo" on the organ, and an arrangement of "Sanctuary" on the piano for the offertory. They are on their way back to Dara's home, and probably some cooler temperatures than what it is here in Kansas.

I've done some yard work yesterday and today, but as usual, it was a frustrating experience. I did spray for weeds and plant some flowers, however, I did not complete 2 tasks I had in mind. The first was to start the tiller and plow up a little spot out here in front of the house for more flower planting. You would think that a grown woman, with relatively normal arm and hand strength, would be able to start a 2 cycle tiller. It's one of the little ones that you see elderly people pushing along in advertisements. Try as I might, however, I was not able to rip the cord with enough power to start the engine. I even read the directions regarding priming, and where to place my left hand, yadda yadda, but to no avail. Now the lawn mower, I do have problems starting it-it's a bigger engine and I have to yank really hard. It takes several tries, and I'm exhausted by the time it's running. But this tiller-I'm just disgusted that I can't start it. I stood out there and wondered what I would do if I had no spouse or son to call in order to help me get it going. It happens that Josh will be over tomorrow to mow, so I'm going to have him give me tiller lessons, but sheesh.

Secondly, the Man told me this morning before he went to work just where I could find a box of edging to finish a project I had started. I thought, well, if I can't till, I can work on that. Did I find the edging? No. Is it where he said it was? No. Is in anywhere on our property? No. I spent time looking for that, and again, failed in my quest. By now, it's 10:00 and getting warm out, so I guess I'm done outside for the day until evening.

I really hate being dependent on someone for something. I think to myself, the last thing I want to become, if something happens to the Man, is a woman who cannot mow, trim, start tillers, replace toilet seats, caulk, or change furnace filters. If I had to do it by myself, then I'd better know how to do it. It's nice to have someone to do it for you, if they don't mind, but there's something to be said about living independently and managing your own business if you are physically able to do so. My young friend Candace, a single person, bought a house a couple of years ago. She told me a few months ago that if she doesn't do the repairs, they don't get done, so she's learned to do a lot of that maintenance stuff all on her own. I admire her and that streak of independence. Although I loved my mother, I think she was semi-helpless when it came to taking care of stuff like that. If my dad would have passed on before her, she would not have been able to do a lot of that herself, but-then again, maybe she would have surprised me (and herself).

In my quest for independence, I'm going to sign up for tiller lessons from my son. Maybe along this line, I'll have him show me how to check the oil in my car (I have a vague idea) and put water in the radiator. I am woman, hear me......bleat like a sheep when things need done. Will that be my theme?