How about some doctor doctor jokes...

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I am a set of curtains!
"Pull yourself together, man!"
Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow.
"Don't let people push you around."
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.
"Who said that?!"
Doctor, doctor, nobody understands me.
"What do you mean by that?"
Doctor, doctor, People keep ignoring me!
"Next!"
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
"I'll deal with you later."
Doctor, doctor, people keep telling me I'm ugly!
"Lay on the couch, face down."
Doctor, doctor, I'm manic-depressive.
"Calm down. Cheer up. Calm down. Cheer up. Calm..."
Doctor, doctor, I feel so short!
"No problem. Hop up on the couch."
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a small bucket.
"You do look a little pail."
Doctor, doctor, I've only got 59 seconds to live.
"Wait a minute please."
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears.
"Don't answer!"