Day Four

     I've spent some time yesterday reviewing old posts.  I am so glad I started this blog, even though I write rather infrequently.  I enjoyed re-reading about the "great mattress maneuver" and about Joshua dropping my car keys into a parking meter post downtown.  Some posts I think are examples of fairly decent writing, others are not.  I have triggered some memories - and frankly, without this blog, I'm not sure I would recall so many details about those events, plus some others such as the train trip Rebekah and I took to Michigan several years ago.  I love that this is a little history of things in my life - but it's way too incomplete.  My mom kept diaries from time to time and I treasure those words in her own handwriting (although my sister is the "keeper of the memorphilia".  I do realize memoraphilia is not a word, but it's a word in THIS family...) 
     I've had a pretty good day at work, and now am at home trying to figure out what to do for dinner.  I'm back on the horse diet-wise, and am tracking again on My Fitness Pal.  What a pain in the hind end, but I find it useful.  My challenge has always been, however, to get my body moving in some sort of organized aerobic fashion.  I know that is the real key to sugar control, but I find it difficult, for several reasons, to get this worked into my routine.   
     Tonight I'm going to spend some time with friends in a Bible study group.  I enjoy this interaction and the study is useful as well.  I haven't had time to look over the lesson for this evening, but perhaps without facebook eating up my time every single day I'll be able to! 
    

Day Three

     Today, we enjoyed some time out at Kevin's for Labor Day, but it was too hot to do anything outside, so no family croquet game was to be played.  Conversation was good, fellowship was good, and it was nice to catch up with the little ones and the very fast growth they are engaged in the first months and years of life.  Bryn can take a couple of steps on her own, and is a tall baby.  She is in constant motion.  Julia at about 2 and a half talks all the time and is easier to understand every day.  She certainly is an independent little girl.  And Hannah changes every day - at a mere 2 weeks old she looks different every time I see her.  She was wide awake quite awhile this afternoon, those baby blues looking around at everything.
     A box turtle was found and held up to the window for Rachel and Gabriel to look at, homemade ice cream was on tap, and a good time was had by all.
     I love going out to Kevin and Deanna's place, as it is somewhat secluded and quiet.  I have come to terms with the fact that I won't ever have a place of my own like that - after all, I'm going to be 60 in a couple of years and that's the time of your life when you figure out how you can downsize, not acquire more.  Nevertheless, they are very generous about sharing their spot on earth with us city dwellers, and I am grateful for that.
     Tomorrow it is back to work.  I have evaluations to do at both schools, some coming up very quickly, so there's no grass growing under my feet, as they say.  My knee appears to be feeling better, as I have tried to stay off it this weekend, so I hope to walk around school without wincing or limping.
     Day 3 has come and gone.  I have received an email from my oldest brother saying simply that he's lived without facebook for 70 years, he would think I could do 30 days with no problem.  And he's right.  No problem! 

Day Two

     Yes, day 2 of no facebook.  I resorted today to asking my sister if anything "exciting" was going on on fb, and learned that my great niece, Bryn, is walking - which - I guess only knowing a day later isn't a big deal.  See, I'm so accustomed to knowing things quickly!  When my kids were little and began walking, she didn't know it until days/weeks later, when a letter or phone call from me might have informed her of that.  It's the speed at which we gain information about family/friends that I'm missing, I think.
     My daughter called me to say that there was an invitation proffered to family to spend some of Labor Day at my brother's - but I already knew that because my sweet sister-in-law called earlier to find out why my name wasn't showing up on her message list on facebook.  I'm glad she did because I don't want anyone to think I defriended them, but I guess I "defriended" everybody (in a manner of speaking).
      So I finished a book today - "The Piano Shop on the Left Bank".  What a great little treatise on how pianos become such a part of our lives, and of how they "live" when they are a part of our homes and played regularly.  Someone gave this book to my son Dan, and he gave it to me when he was finished with it.  I enjoyed it immensely even if it took place in Paris - somewhere I will probably never be able to visit. 
     I discovered two more books I'm going to start reading, and although I have always read regularly, I now am finding lots more time to do so.  I love books and I love the printed page, and unless I need font to be substantially larger, I probably won't own a Kindle.  When I was a kid nothing made me happier than settling on the "divan" (as my mother called it) with the latest Nancy Drew book from the library.  She subscribed to the Reader's Digest and I read it cover to cover, along with the issues of Good Housekeeping and Woman's Day that were delivered to our mailbox.  I read mysteries, biographies, and all kinds of novels.  I so wish the kids I see who are struggling readers can somehow someway catch a glimpse of the power the written text has, and can at some point, develop a love for reading.  However, when you can't read fluently because you can't blend letter sounds together, or you can't remember sight words, or you look at text and it appears to be nothing but lines and circles, then it's very difficult to want to acquire this skill.
     What are you currently reading?
   
    

Day One

     Thirty days without facebook.  That's the decision I made a few days ago.  In the grand scheme of thigs, it's not important.  But in my personal growth process, it is.
     I was reminded that I actually had a blog several months ago when I was asked to write a short biography of myself for my (cough) 40th high school class reunion.  A question on the bio page was, do you have a blog or website?  Blog?  Why, yes, from the far corners of my brain came the answer - a blog!  I DO have a blog!  Or, I have a page I write on about once a year and then post it.  Whatever. 
     So, 30 days without facebook.  This is day 1.  Some have asked me why I'm doing this.  The answer is complicated, and yet simple.  I'm doing this because I need to restore some sanity in my life.  Sanity?  Facebook makes you insane?  Yes.  In a manner of speaking.
     Anyhow, this is a 30 day journey.  Other changes were made this day as well.  I have lived with diabetes now for 11 years.  Meds have increased incrementally along the way.  There is no cure, no matter what you read about diet, exercise, and surgery.  No cure, but there is control, and I need to be focused on health issues for awhile.  When I don't work in the summer, I tend to fall off the turnip truck, then I go for lab work in August, then I have a heart attack when my doctor's office calls, because they never have good news for me.  Never.  Let's see, I'm starting my 7th year working for the school district.  I love having a summer vacation but I backslide every summer.  Every summer.  Then I pay the price.
     Ok, enough rumination.  Facebook, I'll miss you.  Maybe.  Other things, I will welcome you.  We'll see what happens. 

where have i been where am i going

Since February 19th, I've been sitting at home on my rear end.  I fell while roller skating (another post, another time), and fractured my elbow in two places.  I just now got rid of my cast, and am in a splint, doing PT for the next 3 weeks.  So, 2 weeks in a half cast because of the swelling, 2 weeks in a real cast, and 3 weeks in a splint and PT all because I had to get on skates again.  Stupid stupid stupid.

Ten Things I've Learned

1.    Everybody takes risks every day, even if it's getting in your car and driving to the QT.

2.    A lot of people break bones, as evidenced by all the casts, wheelchairs, walkers, etc I saw at Kansas

       Orthopaedic Center the last 4 weeks.

3.    Medical insurance companies are more powerful than your orthopaedic surgeon..

4.    Physical therapy is essential to having a functioning elbow joint someday.

5.    I need structure and I need routine because basically, I'm lazy.

6.    I'm married to a saint.

7.    My dog, left to her own devices, will sleep on the couch all day.

8.    There's nothing on daytime TV worth watching.

9.    It's easy to eat out of boredom.

10.  I love my job and I miss working.

Kindness

So the lesson I'm going to teach today has to do with kindness.  When I first looked at it, I thought it would be a "slam-dunk", you know, one of those things you can run through sorta with a "duh" attitude.  Kindness - yes, everyone should be kind, everyone should practice this trait, give some examples, bam, you're done.  Nope, I don't think so.

Here's what I learned in my study:  Being kind is sometimes difficult.  It is a choice.  A kindness is truly a kindness when it is received by someone who:  (a)  may not "deserve" it, (b) does not expect it, (c) requires a sacrifice on your part, (d) is done without thought of what you will receive in return.  Being kind involves not only taking action to meet a need, but also can be facilitated by the words you speak to others. 

Do you know anyone who is truly kind?  I've been the recipient of many acts of kindness over the years but I think one that stands out is an act so "small' and simple that the person, who I don't even know their name, was unaware the impact they had.  It was a busy weekday evening, about 5:30, many years ago.  I was standing in line at the small grocery store near my home, however, the store was packed, as it often was, with people similar to me-working moms stopping in to get something to fix for dinner that evening.  I was tired and weary from a job which absolutely drained me.  My three children at home were around 12, 14, and 16 and it seemed we were having one crisis after another in my family.  As I waited in line, I grew more and more impatient, and upset about the fact that there seemed to be never enough checkers in the store. Finally, my turn came and after pulling my cart up in the lane, the cashier unloaded my groceries to begin to scan them.  I stood at the check-writing shelf and got my checkbook out, wondering if I had enough money to pay for food this week.  After greeting me, the cashier looked at my face and said something like this:   "You look really tired.  You must have had a long, hard, day, now you have to go home and fix dinner!  I'm so sorry you had to wait in line."  Drip, drip, drip.  These words fell onto a parched and weary soul, and I looked back at her.  For the first time I saw dark circles around HER eyes and a weariness about her, but then, she smiled at me and there we were, two weary women understanding each other all because she cared enough to express kindness to me when I appeared out of sorts to her. 

I've never forgotten it.  I don't even know her name, but I've never forgotten that feeling as I left that store and went home to my kids.  Kind words matter!  They buoy and lift the spirit like no other - especially when said to those who least deserve them, expect them, or who cannot give you anything in return.

Kindness.  I encourage you to practice it this week, and start with those who are nearest to you.  Here's a reminder:  "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."  (Ephesians 4:32)    

January 3

Thankfulness first:  I went to an inservice today - I could complain about this but you know, looking for things to be grateful for helps me to view things with a little different perspective.  I got a parking ticket because I forgot to feed the meter - but - I have a car that works fine, AND, I have 15.00 to send to the city coffers.  Temperature in the room at the ISC was just fine - not too hot, not too cold.  The topic of the inservice was "somewhat" interesting so I wasn't completely bored ALL the time.  How's that?

Iowa caucus is tonight.  I am interested to see what the results are - however, I did read the paper an Iowa university professor wrote who was questioning why we have allowed Iowa such a position in the spotlight as they do not "represent America" accurately. Here's the link if you are interested: 

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2011/12/observations-from-20-years-of-iowa-life/249401

That's it for today! 

January 1

I just got done reading about a man who a couple of years ago, sent 365 thank you notes to people in a year - like snail mail handwritten thank you notes, and how that changed his life.  Every day - not only being thankful, but being thankful to another human being for something - I can well imagine that this would give a new perspective about things, and very quickly.  He has written a book about his experience which has just recently been published  ("365 Thank Yous - The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life" by John Krauk). 

Thinking about this - I wondered if I actually could write 365 notes to 365 different people - do I even know that many people - and not only that, do I have a spirit of gratitude about my life's circumstances which would allow me to do that?  Off the top of my head, here are 10 people I could thank today this very minute in no particular order - so if you read this and your name is at the bottom of the list, don't freak out!  I have not included family because - well, I hope you all know how much I love and appreciate you every day!

Dr. Bakken - a professor at WSU who told me early on in my "going back to school" career that she had great confidence in my ability to stay in school and complete the school psychologist program successfully when I was doubting if I could. 

Noma Curtis - former music director at Parkview Church - thank you for mentoring me, being my friend, and for helping me to grow as a musician.

Jill Rust - speech therapist (retired) who worked at the very first school I was assigned to (albeit briefly), and who, on a day I was about to throw it all in gave me a little train engine with the encouraging words - Yes you can!  You can do it!

Lynn Wells - thanks for being one of the best supervisors I've ever worked for.  Enjoy your retirement!

Lisa - you cut and color my hair every couple of months and what a pleasant experience it always is for me to come in and have you work your magic!

Debi Patry -- your bright smile at Braums as I'm shopping is always a day brightener for me.

Loy Burnett - For the last 30 years, I have so much appreciated your willingness to keep our old cars running, and to always treat us fairly when we have to bring one of them in.  Thank you for all you do for us.

I don't know your name - but you work at the Donut Whole and you made me the most delicious sugar free peppermint mocha the other day!  Thank you for your cheerful attitude and willingness to go the second mile.

Karen Wallace - I will never ever forget what you did for me (you know what), my first year working in USD 259.  I remain very grateful to this very day - 6 years later. 

Dianna - Thank you for opening your home on Tuesday nights for an eclectic group of women to gather and to discuss biblical topics.  I am grateful for your service. 

Trains

Sitting in the chair, she drew the sweater around her and shivered.  It was late January by the calendar, and as she looked out of the window near her chair, the yard light cast a glow on new fallen snow.  Glancing at the clock she sighed as the time crept by ever so slowly.  It was one of those nights.  She had let the tears spill down and now, she waited for the blessed relief of sleep.  The only sound was the ticking of the clock on the wall, but every once in awhile a gust of wind swept around the corner and whistled as it danced along the old shingle siding. 

Nights like this stretched so intermittably long.  Her thoughts drifted, as they did so often, to what her life was like before, and now.  Now, Papa was gone.  An old man full of years, yes, and those years were spent in her care.  Papa was her responsibility - one that she cherished and took upon herself without hardly a second thought.  She had opportunity to marry any of a number of promising young men when she was in her 20's and 30's and some not so young who sought her out as she grew older.  But, no, that kind of life - the one her sisters and friends found so effortlessly, was not to be her choice.  She knew early on her life was with Papa, and in providing for him - and provide she did.  But now, well, Papa took a final breath, and went home last month, leaving her in an empty house with memories, and pictures, and the cadence of the trains as they rumbled over the tracks and clattered into the night.

She still listened for his footsteps on the floorboards and the creak of his mattress as he turned in bed.  Those sounds  were not to be - but several hundred yards away - the trains came and went, all hours, all through the night.  They ran on a schedule, whistling long and loud as they passed the crossing near her old home. Like beacons in the night - the westbound locomotives headed toward the California coast and the eastbound freighters chugged toward Kansas City and Chicago - each one manned by an engineer, whose job was to blow the whistle as the train went through the crossing. 

40 or 50 trains a day clipping by become an accompaniment to the gardening, the chicken house cleaning, the yard work, or the visiting on the porch. But often, Papa stopped his work to watch the trains roar by, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour as they pulled car after car loaded with wheat, oil, new automobiles, or coal. At night the sweet music of the fast clickity clack along the corridor was a reminder that business and life, proceed as usual through the midnight of sleep.

12:22am.  The discordant wail of a three note blast broke the silence.  He's a little late this evening, she thought.  The notes hung in the air.  The hand on the noisy whistle had rules to follow regarding when to begin to blow, how long to hold it open, and how many times to press the button as the train sped through the north end of the sleeping town.  The engineer peered out the window of the locomotive and spotted a faint yellowish glow coming from the west window of the little brown house.  Someone's up late, he thought. 

She sat in the glow of the lamp, listening to the noise from the wheels and the whistle fade away, oddly comforted, somehow feeling as if an old friend had stopped by to visit and then left in a noisy hurry to get to another destination.  Getting up from her chair, she turned out the lamp and wearily climbed into the wrought iron framed bed.  Pulling the heavy quilt up to her chin, she listened for the trains' songs.  As the melodies echoed through the night, they wrapped her in peace, and she slept, dreaming of a life past.        



 

I'm a basket case

I'm so sad that I have this blog, and that I cannot seem to think about writing in it.  I enjoy writing, I like trying to express my thoughts with words, yet, the discipline of doing this eludes me.  I do not understand why I have such difficulty with this, yet, it is something I cannot give up on.  There's so much about my life that I'd like to be different  - yes, I may have a calm exterior, but inwardly, I am so in a turmoil about things.

It's my birthday today.  Actually, I see that it's 12:27 am November 19th, so it was my birthday yesterday.  I had a GREAT DAY.  I had lunch with my kids, Reb and I got our hair done, I took a nap, I took the afternoon off work, and we had dinner at Spears with my extended family.  I love love love family time together.

I need to head to bed as tomorrow Jay and I are visiting Jane and taking Rebekah with us.  In the evening the spouse and I are headed to the symphony concert, as we got some free tickets.  I am so blessed- and so confused! 

Comments a la carte

Beautiful weather!  We enjoyed a hot dog roast, croquet, and visiting over at my brother's this evening.  I saw, for the first time in many years, a shooting star.  It was quick and over almost before it begun - if I would have blinked, I would have missed it. 

Today I ripped out all the garden plants that were struggling along.  I gave up - BUT, I'm thinking about planting a fall garden.  I've got bean and beet seeds - could it be that I could actually grow something now that the weather has moderated?  Hope springs eternal...  We're working on putting in two more boxes along the back fence.  I really like this "box garden bed" concept.  We have to clear out years of honeysuckle vine first, so it'll be awhile.

I'm reading "The Help".  I can't put it down!  Well I can, but it's difficult.  What a great book - I can't wait to see the movie. 

After a rousing chorus of the neighbor's three dogs barking for almost an hour today I'm this much closer to checking on getting a privacy fence put up.  Yes, they'll still bark at me, but I won't SEE them.  I think that'll help.  Please, God, make it stop.

Problems at church.  Problems at work.  Problems with family.  Problems all around.  What's the old adage - do what you can about the things you CAN control, everything else, let it go.  I need to be reminded of that every once in awhile.

I can usually work the sudoku puzzle all the way up to Thursday, most of the time I can get Friday's, and rarely, I can get Saturdays.  I usually try to work the Cryptoquip and the Jumble too.  Sometimes I wonder if that's the only reason I subscribe to the daily paper.  That and the comics.  Love Pickles, Zits, Sherman's Lagoon, and Non Sequitur.

Speaking of Non Sequitur, did you know that it's Latin for "it does not follow"?  In formal logic, it is an argument which its conclusion does not follow its premises.  For example:  in advertising - a commercial might state if you do not buy this brand of dog food, you do not love your dog.   Wiki goes on to give several other examples of different non sequiturs. 

It's late.  Time to get to bed, in order to, get up early, in order to, go to work tomorrow, in order to, come home, in order to, go to bed, in order to, get up early, in order to...  well, you get my drift.  Have a good week. 

A long two weeks

It has been a difficult, long, last two weeks. Briefly, there was a crisis which touched one of the schools I serve.  It was an incident of domestic violence where one of our first graders was shot to death, her 4th grade sister critically wounded, and her mother and grandmother wounded as well.  The little girl's funeral was yesterday, and although I did not go, it certainly was uppermost in my thoughts as I worked at school.
Events like this always cause me to reassess my worldview regarding good and evil, of what happens when you are in the wrong place at the wrong time, and who really is in control of what in this universe.  I am finding that really, when I'm called on to serve in a crisis, I can do that running purely on what I know my job is and what I have to do.  It's usually days later before I really begin to mull things over and process the horrific nature of what happened, and then begin to put it in proper persepctive in my mental filing cabinet.  PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) occurs when that system breaks down.  Sometimes people have to deal with trauma, tragedy, and things too indescribable to talk about - and I wonder if those who truly suffer from this disorder ever can regain a sense of normalacy about life. 

Rest in peace, Reimy.  I pray Dayonara recovers, and certainly for her mother and grandmother as well - the healing required to deal with this tragedy will be much more than just physical. 

Buddy

 
Buddy was a member of my friend Julie's family.  This is one of the last pictures taken of him, which she posted on facebook.  She titled it:  "You walked through my heart and right into heaven...I love you my Buddy!  PS:  I bet you're already catching birds and bunnies:) "  Julie and her family made the very difficult decision to ask a vet to come to their house and administer a shot to this beautiful dog.  He was old for a lab, and had some serious, chronic, health problems which were growing worse by the day.  He was a trained therapy dog, and Julie brought him to Kensler the first two years I worked there, however, the third year, he retired as he was just not feeling well enough to stay all day and do his job.  But he LOVED working, and when she walked in with him in the mornings, he bounded through the halls, ready to be of assistance to children who needed some unconditional love that day.  When his collar and harness were on, he was one of the most obedient dogs I've ever known.  He was well trained, and oftentimes, a look or a snap of Julie's fingers would bring him into willing compliance. 
 
I gained information about therapy dogs - how they are trained to leave food they find on the floor and in fact, do not sniff toward plates or tables, how they are tolerant of hugs and kisses and "mauling" by kids, and of how they with one word stop, heel, stay, sit, lie down, or walk.  But really, the one thing about Buddy - he was trained to not show pain.  So although he lived with chronic pain issues, he did not complain or whine.  Julie said that therapy dogs especially those who are labs, will wear their bodies out, but their hearts keep beating, they keep hanging on, they never give up.   So many times, they need some assistance to take that final journey. 
 
I looked at the other two pictures of Buddy Julie took today and posted, one of which is below.  His face is so full of expression, but there is a tiredness in his eyes.  I cried as I thought about what Julie and her kids are going through - losing a beloved pet is so heart wrenching you sometimes wonder if it is worth the risk.  I thought of that very thing before adopting Lydia.  There's no right answer the same for everybody, but I have to say, I'm so glad I knew Buddy.  I'm glad I was privileged to work with him and to see him work.  He will be greatly missed!
 
 

 

Blah and More

I've been feeling a little, well, I don't know the proper term, but perhaps "blah" describes it.  I sat down here late tonight to try to write about what's going on, but words fail me.  So when words fail, what's the next best thing?  I don't know for sure - after all, this is a BLOG, and blogs imply written material will be available for your perusal.

Went back to work this week.  I usually don't mind that too much - I like the structure and routine of a work day.  Started on some increased meds for the diabetes and I'm having a few side effects - but nothing terribly major, just inconvenient.  My kids are going through various and sundry difficult times, but so are a lot of people.  Nothing unique there - just sort of heartbreaking but I'm not the first mom to experience that.  I think of those families who lost loved ones this last week in the war - oh my - the devastation that moms and dads, husbands and wives, children, brothers and sisters go through when a loved one gives his or her life military service - I can't imagine.  A few days ago, 30 American soldiers died when their helicopter was fired upon by insurgents. 

So I can count my blessings and come out "in the black" - I always do no matter what has happened.  A certain weariness comes over me though.  Don't know what it is or how to deal with it.  Don't know that it's even that important that I do.  It's really not about me and I was reminded of that in a big way these last few days.  Every once in awhile, we need something to happen to us to help us re-focus on priorities - and we should be grateful when that comes about, painful though it may be. 

Have a good week. 

Reunion Observations

We just got back from a few days in Kentucky, where we shared a resort with other family members we don't get to see very often.  The weather was hot, the accomodations were so-so, but the time together was memorable.

Because the weather was hot, we weren't able to gather outside in groups to chat, so other than the hello hug and goodbye hug, I wasn't able to really visit with some the way I would have liked, and I missed that.  For example, my oldest brother lives in Michigan and the next oldest lives in Texas, so I may see them twice a year, but generally speaking, it's once a year or less.  At this reunion however, I would imagine I didn't chat with either one more than 15 minutes.  Other relatives attending probably got less than that.  I feel badly but am not sure what could have been done differently.

Our extended family has always been cohesive, strong, and supportive but this reunion was a little bumpier than some.  Some misunderstandings were apparent, some things were said, other things were NOT said, and overall, I walked away with an unsettled feeling.  I don't like conflict, but I can tell you that I learned a lot.  You know, we get comfortable viewing life through our perspective and in doing so, this comfort may trick us into the trap of thinking that others see things the same way we do.  The truth of the matter is, we are a widely diverse group who comes together once a year simply because we are connected to the Plank family in some way.  We are 6 siblings who share a biological and historical tie, and we bring with us our spouses, our children and their spouses and children, who, someday, will be gathering for their OWN reunions with their own children and grandchildren.  These are family ties which go back to my parents - John and Estella Plank - and soon, there will be more people in my extended family who never knew my parents than people who did know them.   


So, what this old dog learned from meeting with my extended family for these three somewhat troublesome days is this:  Don't ever take other people's perspectives for granted.  Don't ever assume that you know how someone else feels about something.  Learn what's important and what isn't and let go what isn't.  Learn to appreciate the diversity we have.

Facebook

I've been wanting to write a post about Facebook for several weeks now, and finally have decided, I just need to do it.  I am a relatively new facebooker, having been doing it now for only 2 or 3 years, as opposed to my kids, who have been facebooking almost all their adult lives. 

My husband had a Facebook less than a month before he in frustration, deleted it forever.  He said he could not deal with first of all, people wanting to be his FB friend, when in real life, they hadn't spoken to him in years, and if for some reason, they would have spoken to him, it would be a short conversation and once you catch up, that's it.  Secondly, he had no defense against the "minutia" of information people posted, and found it  hard to understand why they thought he would be interested in knowing that they took their dog to the vet, went to the store, trimmed their toenails, or killed a spider in their house.  He was assaulted with posts from games people were playing and although he blocked them, found it was an ongoing battle he just didn't want to fight.  Thirdly, he rarely statused because, well, he's just sort of a private person.  He doesn't feel the need to tell people he found a good deal on toilet paper or had a flat tire, or threw up his lunch, or whatever.

In so many ways, Facebook has had a gigantic impact on our personal lives, and in our culture.  We post our political and religious opinions, we share articles and videos we find interesting, we comment on others' posts, and we basically, open our lives to those we choose to be friends with, whether they are truly "friends" or not.  My social world has expanded - I am familiar with friends other people are friends with just because of the comments they make on mutual friends' walls.  From today's posts, I know that:  Robert likes "Facing the Giants" movie, that Charles has friended two people I don't know, that my son Dan wants tacos for lunch, that my niece is seeing a 1:00 show, that a school friend is garage saling today and another friend is scrapbooking.  That's just from this morning and I only have a moderate amount of friends.  Our family uses Facebook to send messages and invitations, and, we have a reunion facebook page set up where information is posted that is beneficial to all who are coming.  Overall, I don't object to that, and in fact, I have invited those statuses to be a part of my life because I have ageed to have a Facebook account. 

What's not to like?  Well, here's something that knocks me for a loop from time to time:  A status or opinion which is posted, and which quickly turns into a spirited discussion, which quickly turns into people misunderstanding what someone has posted, which quickly turns into people arguing with each other, and from there, we have people verbally assaulting one another.  I've participated in many civil discussions on facebook, and some not so civil.  Participants are much more likely to respond quickly by typing and in doing so, will write things they might not normally say face to face.  I think people are much more careful about what they say and how they say it when they are actually looking at another human being in the room, however, this is changing rapidly.  People are now living Facebook real lives, and I'll explain more in the next post.  

In the meantime, I solict your opinons - how do you feel Facebook has benefited our lives in a postive way, and how has it negatively impacted you, or society as a whole?

Friends

Today I went out to get the birdfeeders and fill the birdbath.  As I reached to put the one back that hangs in a tree, a little sparrow fluttered within a couple of feet of my arm, as if to say, come on!  We've been starving for days now!  Although this "hobby" can be expensive, I have a budget - otherwise, I'd fill them every couple of days and my WalMart bill would be much larger.  I enjoy doing this - I like seeing the different kinds of birds that come.  Mostly they are common ordinary sparrows and finches, but every once in awhile, I'll see a bluejay, mourning doves, or an orangeish sort of bird I can't identify. 

My lovely daughter in law has this bird feeding thing down to a science.  She made her own squirrel-proof pole, set it in her yard, and from it, hangs several feeders, all of which frustrate the squirrels that live there.  She saw a problem, she came up with a solution, and she implemented it - Why do I think this is a trait sorely missed in our politicians today....  But alas, I digress.

My bird friends like me because I feed them - and they hang around for that reason.  Real friends - now that takes effort to accomplish.  I had lunch with a friend yesterday, and after a mixup about waiting for each other (we were both seated in the same restaurant waiting for each other and never saw one another until I texted her and said, "Where U at?"), we had a nice lunch and took up 2 hours sitting there there chatting.  I treasure these friendships, both of the bird and people variety.

How can I write about friends and not include the one who follows me around all day, even if I'm in the house and walking from room to room, who costs me vet trips and allergy shots, and, who provides companionship, who is a walking partner when it's not hot, and makes me laugh - oh yeah, that's Lydia, my friend of canine persuasion.  

I'm also blessed to call my adult kids and their spouses "friends" in some sense, and my siblings - well I know that if I ever needed anything, these friends would instantly help. 

I'm happy to tell you though, that my spouse is really my best friend.  From feathered, to furry to human - I am blessed.

Summer of 1980 Remembrances

So, how's it going?  I hope the few of you who read this blog are doing ok, even in the extreme heat we are "enjoying" here in S Central Kansas.  Some are comparing this summer to that of 1980 - here's some info about it: 
Sweltering heat took a long, unwelcome vacation in Kansas during the summer of 1980. The blistering heat arrived with a vengeance on June 24th when the mercury soared to 103 degrees. Afternoon high temperatures broke the 100-degree barrier each day for the rest of the month, culminating in a monthly high of 110 degrees on the 30th. The nighttime provided very little in the way of relief as lows in the mid to upper 70s were prevalent during that one-week span. Little did anyone realize that the atmosphere was just getting "warmed up". During July, the heat wave hit full throttle when high temperatures cleared the 100-degree hurdle a staggering 24 out of 31 days, including an eighteen day stretch from the 3rd to the 20th. The 4th was, quite literally, hotter than a firecracker, when another 110-degree reading was achieved. The record heat reached a pinnacle on the 12th, when Wichitans baked in 112-degree temperatures.  It appeared that the heat wave was losing its grip, when a cold front crossing the region on July 21st caused temperatures to "nosedive" back into the mid 90s with overnight lows dropping to near 60 degrees. Not so, as temperatures shot right back up into the 105-110 degree range from the 28th to the 21st. The heat wave that wouldn't die was entering its third month. The record heat didn't break stride as August took the baton and raced to a high of 110 degrees on the 1st. In fact, 11 of the first 13 days of August would see triple-digit highs. It was on the 14th that "the sizzling Summer of 1980" began to east its grip on Kansas, as temperatures settled back into more seasonal levels. However, it was too late, as 20 record high temperatures were set between June 24th and August 13th, all of which stand to this day. During the months of June and July, Wichita's Mid-Continent Airport only received 1.81 inches of rainfall, 0.47 inches of that was in July.


We had moved here from Ft Worth on July 1, with our firstborn baby daughter, who was born in April of that year.  We had a nice apartment with some AC, but it was upstairs and it wasn't able to stay cool.  The word "misery" comes to mind as I remember that summer.  We had help to unpack our truck and haul all of our stuff up a flight of stairs and into our new home - but I recall lots of sweat and effort from those older people in our congregation who came to help us out.  Oh, it was something else! 

Judgment in Word and Picture

I'm the first to admit that I'm a person who finds humor in people watching.  I think people are generally funny and I enjoy observing others in humorous situations.  Ask my youngest son - as he grew up, we shared a lot of "Look at that guy!" moments.  One memorable "look at that guy" moment occurred as I was driving past the Broadway and Pawnee WalMart one day with him in the car and we saw a man walking north on Broadway clad in nothing but a pair of "tighty whiteys".   "LOOK at that guy!!" we both screeched as we went past him. 

 I'm also somewhat of a wordsmith, and, I've been told by some that I have a "dry" sense of humor - I actually looked that up on the "internets" because I wasn't sure what it meant.  I love the humor in the writings of Dave Barry, Garrison Keillor, and others.  I poke fun of people, and I expect it back - with 4 brothers, a sister, 3 kids, and numerous nieces and nephews, all who have advanced funny bones of their own, I can't help but be the end of someone's witty observations.  So I'm ok with that sort of thing.  However, a couple of things occurred recently which help bring me back to the reality that there is a line that should not be crossed.  In our extended family, we sort of know what that line is - we can zing someone but do it respectfully - and, speaking for myself, I may have gotten out of hand a time or two or three - and I do regret when that happens. 

You may be aware that there is a website up and running called "People of Riverfest" - similar to the "People of WalMart" website.  Someone walked around with a camera and took pictures of people at the River Festival which just concluded here in Wichita.  In some pictures the people looked like they were aware they were getting their pictures taken, and were posing, and other pictures were taken more stealthily, with people not aware their images were being captured.  I have been looking at this website the past several days, amazed and aghast at what people wear in public (or don't wear, as the case may be), and have found humor in "Look at that guy!" shots of people who you really wonder if they knew they looked like that before they left the house.  The captions accompanying the photos are sarcastic judgments about the person featured, and yes, I think some people dress like that for attention and to get noticed, ha ha.  However, I was brought up short by a photo - it's of a woman I know.  She is pictured with a caption which implies that she's not too bright in the way she talks.  I found myself oddly offended by this - that someone took it upon themselves to take her picture, then judge her based on what she looked like.  The difference is - I know her.  I've known her for years.  She's a nice person.  She is "needy" but she would not harm anyone, and she just lives life on her terms.  For that, she gets her picture on the internet with a sleazy caption and people commenting about her.  I don't know how I feel about that.  I think there's a hairline difference between posting pictures of and noting people who obviously want attention with how they are dressed (i.e., the two guys wearing nothing but Speedos, or, the woman wearing what looks like a shower curtain, or the drag queens), and posting pictures of people who are "different" but not attention seeking.  I dunno. 

And, in the other situation I found myself in, a person of the younger generation used this phrase "that's so gay" to comment on my son's facebook status this last week.  This person meant, as young people these days mean when they use this term, that my son was nerdy or stupid, or whatever, not necessarily "gay" because of his personal like for a certain kind of music.  You may be aware that that phrase "that's so gay" is commonly used today by mostly kids, teens and twenties, to describe something or somebody in derisive terms, much the same way we used to call people "squares".  I took exception to this person saying that, not because I was offended that she said he was gay, but I was offended that she applied that term to him in a derisive way - she meant that his choice of music was stupid.  A long facebook discussion ensued, with other people jumping in on the topic.  When all was said and done, I hope a couple of kids were enlightened by the offensiveness of this comment.  If I hear a kid say this at school, I call them on it. 

So once again, I am reminded to watch what I say, and temper that sarcastic humor just a bit.  Those people that are being made fun of on websites such as peopleofriverfest.com are somebody's mother, daughter, son, or father.  They are real people, with real feelings - and yes, some crave the attention and like the publicity - others don't deserve the judgment that comes when people make fun of the way they look, dress, or speak. 



   

Is it getting old in here?

For those of you who follow my brother's blog, we smiled at his adventure at WalMart not too many days ago, as he dealt with his "stolen" pickup.  Here is a link to that blog entry in case you're interested.   

http://hubblefan.blogspot.com/

There's no doubt we're getting older.  I now have a WalMart story of my own.  It's not as spectacular as his, but it addresses the same problem - what happens when older people like myself, do things out of the ordinary routine?  Trouble!   That's what happens! 

So, my car was past an oil change.  I zipped into the West Kellogg WalMart to see if they could change it for me.  It'll be an hour and a half, the man said.  I agreed, as I had no pressing engagements, and needed to do some shopping anyway.  I got a cart and off I went.  About 45 minutes later, I was done except for some frozen groceries, so I headed over to the Subway, parked my cart, and got out a book I was buying to read (it's called "The Christian Atheist" in case you're interested).  Soon I was engrossed, but kept an eye on the shopping cart to make sure no one decided it was abandoned and rolled it to customer service.  Time passed quickly.  With about 10 minutes to go before the car was ready, I got my cart, went to frozen foods, got my veggies, then got in line to pay.  I had about half of my groceries on the conveyor belt when I looked at the child's seat I usually put my purse on, and.... no purse.  I'm telling you, there is nothing like the sinking feeling you get when your purse is gone.  It is pure panic.  Immediately I began looking, searching (visually) other shoppers standing in line.  I screeched at the cashier, "My purse is GONE!"  She notifed the CSM.  I had my cell in my pocket so I called my husband, and asked him to come as I had no way to pay for this 100.00 in groceries, bawling on the phone.  The CSM arrived, and with her, 2 people from Loss Prevention, (by the way, they look like ordinary shoppers, dressed in t shirts and shorts).  I described it, and they started looking.  The CSM told me to call 911 immediately so that if my card was used in the store, the bank could confirm it wasn't me.  I picked up my cell again, and had no bars, so I walked over toward the Subway to call.  Just as I dialed 911, my eyes drifted to the Subway, and.....  spotted my purse in the exact same spot I was sitting at 20 minutes ago reading my book. 

Screeching, I made a beeline for it, hanging up on 911 (who immediately called me back and asked if I needed help).  It was zipped shut and in perfect condition.  I showed it to the cashier, and by that time, the LP people had already isolated the video tape of me checking out.  She said, we see the purse in your shopping cart, but the next frame shows it's not.  I told her that I thought I'd left it in the Subway when I was there earlier, and she wasn't so sure, as she says it is visible on the tape. 

At any rate, all is right with the world.  My purse was unattended in that Subway for 20 minutes or more, and I never even missed it as I finished my shopping. 

Here's the best part:  After the whole thing was over, and I was feeling very relieved, I realized I needed to use the restroom, so I parked the cart and went into the nearest restroom (with my purse on my shoulder).  As I sat in the stall, I wondered why there were only two stalls - "I thought the women's room had at least 6", I said to myself.  I finished up, then as I turned to what I thought were sinks when I hurriedly came in, I realized they were indeed, yes, they were urinals.  For about 3 seconds I was aghast at what I had done, then calmly walked out, not caring - hey - I had my purse!  Things were great! 

Catching Up

Finally, the wind which has battered and beaten everything in its path the last two days has died down and today, May 31, 2011, has dawned sunny with just a little breeze.  My little digital camera I purchased at WalMart a couple of years ago was a victim of my carelessness and yesterday's wind.  I left it in the swing at my brother's house and the wind blew so hard it blew the cushion it was on up from the swing seat, which threw my camera onto the ground.  There's a couple of cracks in it, and although we tried to get it to come on, it is done for.  I LOVED that camera, and I will need to replace it with one like it if I can find one.

Another Memorial Day has come and gone.  Although I was raised to be more of a pacifist, I am so grateful for those who have given their lives for this nation and my home - so that I have the right to hold and speak whatever viewpoints I choose.  I love hearing the stories of veterans, particularly, those of WWII.  I posted on facebook this video of a 93 year old man Larry Hatteberg interviewed for "Hatteberg's People".  If you haven't watched this, I would encourage you to do so.

http://www.kake.com/hattebergpeople/headlines/Hattebergs_People_-_Pastor_H_O_Lindeblad_122809924.html

Notice what this man learned to do at age 91. 

Back to Memorial Day, my young niece and nephew enjoyed wading in the Little Ark river, and, very much enjoyed playing in the mud pit their Uncle Kevin fixed for them.  After baths, they were almost as good as new.  If I can get the pictures off of my memory card from my broken camera, I will try to post some on here and on facebook.  We went to the cemetery the day before, but it was so very windy and hot that it was not conducive for visiting.  We ran into a relative I hadn't seen in awhile, and I was sorry we weren't able to stay longer. 

I also wanted to mention that my daughter-in-law's parents were here over the weekend.  Her mother is an landscaper extraordinaire, and they brought all kinds of plans and plants for my son and DIL's home.  She is what I would consider an "adventurous" landscaper.  She plants things that look really neat, but it takes a brave person to do that and not worry about killing everything.  I'm not a landscaper, and just mow my yard, but, I have experienced good success with my raised garden beds.  I have 2 larger ones, then a smaller one for tomatoes and peppers.  I LOVE it.  I have harvested lettuce, which is done now, and so far, one "vidalia" onion which was planted from an onion set I planted last spring.  As I explained on facebook, it's not a true Vidalia onion, as they only grow in Vidalia County Georgia - and, the one I used in a salad yesterday was kinda spicy!  My potatoes are huge, and peas are blooming.  Beets are up, radishes are up, and green beans are doing well.  If you are thinking about a raised bed, get some good dirt!  I have a recommendation I can give you. 

Today I'm having lunch with Rebekah and getting my hair cut etc.  I love not working at school for awhile, but it seems my days fill up with other stuff pretty quickly.  I have a lot I need to accomplish in the next two months.  I'll keep ya posted. 

Words of hope

This is a chilly, overcast, drizzly, windy Sunday morning.  I am sitting here at the computer, and from my vantage point, I can look out the front window and see a red-headed finch picking up sunflower seeds from my hanging feeder.  He is a spot of sunshine in an otherwise gloomy day.  I am listening to John Michael Talbot's "Pathways of the Shepherd", and this instrumental music brings me peace. 

I take comfort in the fact that my Heavenly Father sees me, as surely as He sees the finch outside.  His presence is here - and it is a reassuring comforting Presence.  Although circumstances in several areas of my life are far from peaceable and pleasant, I rest.  Tears of relief come.  

Truly, the Lord is my Shepherd, and I shall not want.  The words of this familiar Psalm echo in my mind, and center themselves in my heart, in my very being.  I rest in the knowledge that I am never far from His thoughts, I am never away from His Spirit.  I am not ever abandoned or forsaken.  I am weary, but not discouraged.  I am saddened, but not in despair.  I am sheltered and loved. 

I hope whatever you are going through that you find hope in the Shepherd's Presence.  May you feel His comforting embrace as His arms encircle you.  May He bring you healing from the hurts and wounds of life.  Allow Him to annoint you with oil, and fill you to overflowing.  God bless you in your journey to wholeness.  It's worth it. 

Carry On

I'm feeling a little sad this evening.  It seems that there's a lot going on in my life, and most of it is because I never thought I'd be in some of the situations I'm in, dealing with some of issues that have presented themselves to me.  I feel like withdrawing and just wrapping myself in a covering of some sort so that I am immune or impervious to slings, arrows, and thrown stones.  Wouldn't THAT be a great idea?  If we could walk around like turtles with shells -we wouldn't get ourselves into messes, (unless we ended up on our backs with our legs flailing around in the air), and, we wouldn't be hurt by what life sometimes brings.  Conversely, we wouldn't hurt others with our actions or words if we could just stay in our shells and complete life's minimal requirements, such as bill paying and working for a living.

I sometimes just get weary trying to stay afloat and on course, trying not to crash into hidden rocks.  I realize part of this feeling has to do with the fact that there's only a few weeks of school left, and this is my absolute busiest time of the year.  But, I also am struggling with more personal things particularly in relationships.  When friendships change, when things you thought were sure aren't, when others misunderstand intentions, and when you can't describe or explain how you feel - then a restless, something's off-kilter, something's amiss feeling comes to take up residence.  How does one cope? 




   

Music Speaks

So, I've been learning a new piece on the piano.  It's called "Solace" or "Solace Rag" by Scott Joplin.  It's not really a rag like you might think, it's slower, deliberate, and full of expression when played properly.  I heard this piece played in Century II Concert Hall by a pianist who was featured with the symphony that evening.  After a stellar performance of playing technically challenging pieces, for his encore, he sat at the piano, alone, and simply played "Solace".  I, along with the rest of the audience, was mesmerized by the beauty of this composition and said to myself that evening, "You will learn to play that!"

Forward several weeks.  My son purchased "Solace" online and as I sat at HIS piano one day and plunked it out I discovered that although it may not be extremely difficult to master the technical aspects, what will be difficult will be playing it with feeling and passion in order to evoke an emotional response in myself, and in my audience, should I play it for anyone else.

Daniel gave me the music, so while I practice these notes, I imagine the composer - Scott Joplin - and what might have inspired him to write this simple but beautiful music, which inspires wistfulness, solitude, and a melancholy feeling of yesterdays.  This music, as well as Chopin Preludes and Bach Inventions, and even more modern compositions bring me to a state of lowered blood pressure and a different perspective - it uses a different area of the brain than I've used all day, and it is heaven on earth for a little bit.  I hope you too can find that place where you can obtain peace of mind and a healing of your spirit.  The work day batters and tears, but a place of rest restores.  God will meet you there, and He promises to renew your strength  for yet another day.   

Wishes

My wish list, which includes world peace and a chicken in every pot, has been growing recently. Five new additions include the following:
1. A shoe store which carries ONLY wide and double wide shoes. In lots of different styles and colors. And shoes that are cute - not old lady shoes.
2. I need a purse I don't hate. I don't exactly hate my purse, but I'm not fond of it either. It's sorta like an ugly beater car you drive because you have to have transportation.
3. I ardently wish our school district did not have to cut another 15 million out of the budget for next year. The cuts in "phase two" will impact classrooms, support services, and programs. "Phase three" cuts will be even more devastating.
4. Senator Oletha Faust-Goudeau can speed all she wants to. She doesn't have the right to get by with it because she's a senator, because she has a "challenge coin" from Norman Williams, or because she thinks she's being racially profiled. She needs to suck it up and pay her tickets and quit trying to make excuses for her behavior. My wish for her is that she would conduct her personal life more responsibly and with integrity. She also has problems with code violations in housing she owns, but hey, she's a senator! She's busy!
5. I wish young boys and men, from say age 13 to age 40, would pull their pants up. I am in no mood ever to see any sort of underwear on a person, and don't they realize that if they didn't sag, they could actually take normal steps? It's so STUPID! Pull your pants UP! As I said to one gangbanger, "Pull your pants up. Does your mother know you sag like that???" He looked at me as if i were speaking a foreign language. Along with that, I wish larger women would wear bras and moderately longer shorts. I'm tired of seeing tattooes, flab, sag, and fat on people who shouldn't wear tanktops and short shorts. Blech.

Laura Story - Blessings

Changes

I've been thinking the last several weeks about making changes to my blog. Tonight I kinda looked around at the templates and colors and just decided to go with something different. I have been frustrated the past year or so with this blogging situation, simply because I feel constrained by the title "Cool School Psychologist". I'm so much more than my job and there are a lot of things I would RATHER comment about, think about, and write about. Don't misunderstand, I love what I do, it's just not the sum total of my life. If I wrote about my job, or discussed more formal academic topics, then I wondered if it was boring to the folks who know me just as me. If I wrote more personally, and discussed my faith, my feelings, my love for my family, or even talked about where I live, I worried about those of you who subscribe to this blog purely for the professional ideas you might glean. A lot of my subscribers are those who are also in my job field - and I have no problem with that, but I'm MORE than my job. I thought when I was finishing up school that I would enjoy going to conferences, and one of these days, I'm going to make the national conference for school psychologists, but I gotta tell you, I am less enthusiastic about that now. I think it's because I have come the realization that like so many people in the work force, I am powerless, more or less, to change the way the district expects me to practice. I just do what they tell me to. I keep plugging along year after year - go to this meeting, attend this training, acquire this new binder with information it it - and that's ok, but I really have no way to try innovative things in my practice. I keep getting catalogs in the mail, but why? I don't order testing supplies and now with no budget funds, I especially don't expect any new test materials. I'm basically a person who is trained in this specific area, and I have developed expertise in this area, and I like almost everything about my job, but I don't create or define policy, I don't drive RTI implementation at any school I'm at (the psychologists reading this know what I'm talking about), and I just basically put my head down and plow through the work - somehow, the elephant they served me in the fall and told me to eat all of by May, gets eaten bite by bite. The rule is, you can only eat 1/4 of the elephant by Christmas, and from January to May, you eat 3/4. Lastly, I've felt uncomfortable in the last year blogging about specific situations at school. My job is absolutely fascinating, frustrating, and amazing, and I wish I could tell you about things I've seen, heard, and know. I wish I could be open and share, but this is a public blog on a public forum. I have too much respect for my job, my students, and my supervisors to really say what I feel like saying. When I've written about students on here, I've always disguised their identities - however - there is always a slight risk of discovery. My intentions have always been to promote the field of school psychology, and to lend a perspective to my readers that they may not always see - but, doing that not only with integrity but discreetly remains a challenge. So, I feel better now that I've changed things. Those of you who are looking for purely a professional discussion, and you want to quit following, hey, that's fine. I'm not looking to try to please everybody. I just want to share from my heart to yours.

Announcement

This blog is closed until further notice. Thank you.

No school AGAIN

Second day of no school. I'm always a little flustered by this, but believe me, I'm not complaining. It's just that meetings have to be rescheduled and now I'm going to feel even more behind. Next week we're out on Monday for MLK day, and Tuesday we have inservice. Those two days out I sorta planned for, but now - well, we'll have to see. Plus, in May, we get to go for an extra two days, so, bleh.

As usual, things remain challenging. I'm going to begin work with a child who has "silent seizures". I've not ever done that, so some research will be necessary. According to the child's relative, the physician has said that in this case, these seizures are very frequent and it is his belief that they have caused some cognitive damage. I feel for her and for the relative. I have another case of pretty severe autism which has been undiagnosed up to this time, and a couple of kids who just have several symptoms of several disorders. It's sometimes hard to figure out environmental factors in these cases.

I have several cases also at the private school in our area - they are coming up with more and more kids who need special ed assessment. Thankfully I have a good relationship with the administration over there and we can talk about some of these cases and try to figure things out. I just got done with the nicest kid over there - he's new to the school this year and was so delightful for me to get to know. "Larry" was the tall silent type until we talked about Arkansas Razorback football and hunting. That kid could write a manual about hunting duck or deer - it was really great to visit with a student who had a passion for something besides video games. Although I'm not a hunter and couldn't shoot any living thing, I loved how his eyes lit up when talking about shooting his first buck.

Well, it's off to spend time with my niece's kids today to give her a break. I can think about work stuff later!

Catching Up

I've not posted in a long time, and I've got a brother nagging me...so, here ya go. Just sort of an update on what's been going on.

I am enjoying a few days off for the "winter recess". Actually I started it 3 days earlier than my colleagues because I fractured a rib on Friday evening, Dec 17. Long story, but it began with a fall in a parking lot the Saturday before, and ended a week later with my dog playfully headbutting me on the floor and me experiencing great pain and agony on my right side, so bad I cried most of Saturday morning while waiting for someone to come and rescue me and take me to the MEC. You would think with the number of people in my family who carry their own personal communication devices known as "cell phones" with them, that I would have been able to find somebody in 2 hours to answer their phone. But that's a whole other post to write when I'm feeling curmudgeonly. My husband finally happened to come home for his lunch hour to find me and bundled me off to the doctor's office.

SO, I'm now almost 2 weeks recouperated, and every day gets a little better, but having constant pain in my side is my new "normal", so that's an adjustment. I'm off the highpowered drugs except at night, so yesterday, I resumed driving which was also good for me. I enjoyed shopping and lunch with my daughter today, and did quite a few errands, so I'm ready for some narcotic relief.

I'm kinda glad Christmas is over. I was disappointed in not being able to attend family and church functions that I wanted to - however, we had a grand time Christmas Day at Kevin's. I'm a person that kind of thrives on routine and when it's interrupted a LOT, I get out of my element. Does that sound like an old person or what! But the routine of work and daily activities really helps keep me sane I think. I love my summers off but I have to DO something in order to not just while away the hours in mindless pursuits for 60 days straight.

Even while I'm on this break I've thought of the things that await me. I check my work email every couple of days or so and consider what I'm going to do the first week of January. I wonder how my kids are - the ones that I go to bed thinking of. My prayer is that they are safe, warm, fed, and nurtured, somehow, someway. I know they can't wait for school to start again - you talk about safety in routine. For many of them, school is their safe place, their nurturing place, the place where they are fed and warmed.

School budget cuts loom in the future - Wichita has to cut 20 million dollars for next year, which was the last figure I heard. I'd like it to not be all about the money, but it is. If I were a senior living on a fixed income, I'd probably complain about my taxes too.

Not too long ago, Igave a tour of one of my schools to a cranky old man who wondered where all his tax dollars were going. I was heartened to see him step inside a public school and see what all we do - he now has a better idea of what's going on. I would encourage anyone who hasn't set foot in a public elementary school in a long time to do so. You will be amazed, and glad you did. Don't judge public education by what you see in the media. Go by and see for yourself.

November 30

It's almost the midpoint in the school year and so far, things have been busy and challenging. I am serving two public elementary schools, and a Catholic school that's near one of the schools I'm assigned to. Did you know that students who attend private schools are entitled to special education services if they are found eligible? They receive those services in a public school, so every day there's a bus that comes over and brings the parochial students. It's a challenge to work out schedules at times - when parents make the decision to send their children to private schools, it's usually for religious reasons - and so we work very hard to make sure they are able to get that religious instruction.

I'm seeing some students for counseling, and am working on a behavior plan for a student who has great emotional needs - she/he is living in a home environment that's detrimental to the student growing and maturing academically and emotionally - however, it's been determined that the situation is not severe enough to warrant involvment by our esteemed child protective services. You'll be seeing this kid's name in the paper in about 10 years.

It was cold and windy out yesterday and today. I did manage to take the dog for a walk when I got home but she was ready to come in after about 25 minutes and so was I. In the evenings I'm keeping busy reading and, I've recently re-taught myself to crochet - and, Rebekah, I AM getting your last tea towel done! Maybe by Christmas!

Christmas music is playing everywhere, and I've finally bought some new lights to go around the top of the house under the gutter. I need to get my son to help me put up the clips so we can string them up. I did look at LED lights - my - they are terribly expensive. I realize all the advantages but good grief - I can't spend 200.00 on Christmas lights. My youngest son and daughter in law have already got theirs up and are enjoying them. I could never get him to help me with lights when he lived at home, but see - this is what happens when you fall in love...

I recently celebrated a birthday - and I'm on the downhill slide to 60. I don't FEEL my age - I'm not quite ready for an assisted living center, but I'm telling you, when I think about retiring in 10 years, I can't believe life has gone by this fast. I'm so hoping I am in good health and can enjoy my work - and, most importantly, can continue to do my job well as I, um, "age". (Like cheese and fine wine? I'm not sure about that!)

Ren the Cat

A remarkable thing happened this week - and yes, I realize this is off-topic, but hey. It's my blog. I can post whatever I want to!

A friend of mine has a 20 year old, deaf, "Morris" cat named Ren. Ren went missing a week ago Saturday. She looked throughout the neighborhood for Ren, but in vain, and posted this sad news on her facebook page. A prayer was said that Ren might be united with his owner. Sunday went by. No Ren. Monday morning came - she told me that she still hadn't seen him, and feared the worst.

Monday evening I attended a Bible study in another friend's home. I mentioned after we were through with the lesson that my friend was missing Ren, and the other ladies promised to pray that he would be reunited with his family. One woman attending asked me where my friend lived, and I told her - and she realized that she lived not in the same neighborhood, but in the same general area and that she would look for him. Another woman said she lived a few blocks away from the first woman, and that she would also keep an eye out for Ren.

Tuesday. I emailed my friend and asked if she had a photo of Ren she could send me, and she did. I forwarded the photo to my two friends from Bible study so that they would know what he looked like. I forwarded that email about 4:30 on Tuesday afternoon.

If you've made it this far, the best is yet to come. Here's the interesting part: About 9:50 that evening, my friend checked her school email (something she does not do very often from home) and found the photo I had sent her. Ten minutes later, at about 10:00, her children arrived home, and stated that, yes, you guessed it, there was a CAT on the front porch. She looked out her glass door, and indeed, an orange tabby cat was just sitting there on her porch staring back at her. She immediately recognized him from the picture that she had just seen - yes, it was Ren. She called my friend and quickly, Ren was reunited with his loving owners. He was about 1.3 miles from home, and in order to get to my friend's front porch, had to cross a busy thoroughfare. Not only that, but there are literally dozens of houses in my friend's neighborhood. Dozens. There are houses across the street, next to her, on every lot, on every block. Dozens of homes with front porches.

Somehow, someway, Ren the cat ended up on THAT porch. Of THAT house. At THAT time of the evening. Right AFTER she got the email from me with his picture. AFTER I had mentioned it at Bible study. AFTER we had prayed that Ren would be found.

I tell this story and I am humbled and amazed by this obvious answer to prayer. Both Ren's "mom" and "dad" graciously thanked me for what I did to get Ren back home, but it wasn't me. It was nothing less than God, hearing our prayers, and gently picking up a 20 year old deaf cat, and placing him right on my friend's porch, where her children would see him as they came in the door late that night. It was God not only caring for this cat, but loving us through this act of His supernatural working.

I am a Christian, but I gotta say that in my experience, these situations do not happen very often. When they do, I am filled with gratitude and amazement. We serve a God who holds the universe together, and who listens to His children as they ask Him for what they need.

I am also the first to admit that I don't know how this works. I don't understand why some prayers are answered and some are not. I don't know why people suffer, I don't know why God doesn't heal those who ask Him, I don't know why He works in some situations and appears to ignore others, I have no answers. I don't know why bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. I have no speculation - I just flat don't understand it. But my faith is not diminished by these seemingly incongruent responses from God - instead, I marvel all the more at His perfect plans for His children. It isn't mine to understand - that's not my responsibility. If I could understand it, I'd be able to figure God out - and who can do that? Certainly not me and certainly not anyone that I know.

So Ren is safe, and God is honored in this situation. It was a blessing for me to see this unfold right before my very eyes and I pray that my spiritual eyes might glimpse a vision of how the Maker of the universe cares for His own. And for kitties. Dear readers, I hope you will find encouragement and that your faith will be strengthened by reading this story. Blessings to each of you this week.

October busyness

I told somebody the other day that this is the busiest October I think I've ever had. There's lots to do ALREADY and it just keeps coming. I went to an expulsion hearing last week which was quite interesting - I wish I could share details, but, alas, not a good idea. I will say that the student appeared to be pretty casual about the whole thing - I'm not sure she/he grasped the significance of what was happening, or if they did, they didn't care.

Behavior problems continue to be at the top of the page of things I deal with every day. Students these days really do not know how to be kind, courteous, and civil to one another and so, apparently, we have to teach them, but this is sometimes a losing battle. I had a young man in my office last week who had no problem telling me that I wasn't his boss and he didn't have to do what I told him to. He explained to me that I could just call security because he wasn't scared of anybody. He continually tried to engage me in conversation and was more than willing to let me know just what he was going to do or not do - and not only that, but he was telling ME what I could do. I did not reply to him, which frustrated him - and I wondered if he was going to pick up a chair and throw it at me. Did I mention that he's 7?

I've been working with another young student who lives with a single parent who is employed in a job you wouldn't want to tell your grandmother about. This young person has a vocabulary that would make a sailor blush, but is so needy for attention and for positive affirmation that she/he will do about anything for a look or a touch from an adult. And along the way, we've got to teach her/him to read. Did you realize that all students, yes, 100% of our students, have to meet state assessment standards by 2014? The bar is raised every year for reading, math, science and writing, until, by 2014, it will be at 100%. Let's see - 2014 - this kid will be in 5th grade. I wonder what he's gonna be like. Probably NOT passing state assessments, I would guess.

So anyhow, this next week is conferences which means late nights on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. After conferences we always get parent requests for evaluations - I truly have job security I think.

It's been beautiful weather and I've enjoyed every minute of this October. I went to the symphony concert this afternoon - that Gustav Mahler - I enjoyed hearing his Symphony #2 in C Minor - "Resurrection". Century II's rennovation is wonderful - the seats are actually comfortable with a nice amount of space between the rows. (I can say that because I'm not over 6 foot tall, trying to fold my frame like a grasshopper...)

Have a good week, all.

Who will win?

It's cool, cloudy, and finally, a nip of fall is in the air. I'm glad to see it - although I love warm weather, I'm not sure I could live in summer all the time as some parts of the world do. One of the things I've always loved about Kansas is that we have 4 distinct seasons here.

It was a difficult week, as I put my 55 year old brain power to work trying to work on a functional behavior assessment for a student who already, at the tender age of 10, doesn't seem to care about the choices she/he makes. This student has a lot of people who care (mainly at school), but I think environmental influences at home are going to get her/him. I spoke with a relative last week who does understand that the situation is gravely serious, but, who also tends to make excuses-and frankly, I might do some of that too if someone were speaking to me about my kid, but there's a host of help around if only this family would avail themselves of it. We'll see what happens this next week. Compared to what this kid finds exciting and an adventure, I'm sure 4th grade math and reading are not in the running for what captures her/his attention.

Family Relationships

Warning: personal reflections to follow, not necessarily job related. I know some people read this blog for school psychologist perspectives, and that's fine, but as with all of you, I'm more than my job. And that "more" sometimes presses for expression.

I'm thinking about things right now which have to do with relationships - both familial and friendship. I was having breakfast today with my daughter and her husband and my oldest son, and the topic turned to the value of relationships with siblings, parents, and with extended family - aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. I don't think my son in law would mind me sharing this (if he does, it's too late...), but one of the things my daughter told him before they were married was that if he did not establish positive, warm, relationships with her family, all of her family, she would not continue in a relationship with him. She considered that to be a dealbreaker. I was surprised that she placed that sort of value on this group of 35 or 40 people we call family, but I was pleased that she valued that in her life and saw it as essential.

My husband has often spoken about the relationship he has with his brother, or perhaps doesn't have with his brother, and how he wishes it could be different. He views it as a situation that is not likely to change, both of them going to their graves with regrets. When my oldest son heard these comments, his comment was, "I do not want to live like that. I'm not doing that." He said it with such a look of determination and passion that we listening were silenced. Perhaps that's why he spends time cultivating a relationship with his sister and her husband and his "adopted" brother, Bob. He sees that, values it, respects it, and it has a place in his life.

When children grow up, roles and relationships change. It's sometimes difficult to find your way around when navigating relationships with adult offspring, and I'm still learning how to do that. But I'm glad that my kids have the model before them of family - of flawed people loving each other in spite of idiosyncrasies and diverse viewpoints of life. It's up them whether or not they will take that baton and run with it - and some seem to have already done that. I can only hope, for the sake of their generation and those that follow, that they will do so joyfully and with purpose. In 40 years or sooner, who knows, I won't be here. I won't leave a lot of material possessions and money to any of my kids. What I do leave them, however, is a heritage of faithfulness to the God who created them, and a love indescribable for family - for people that God picked to surround you with at birth. My children will not be able to take advantage of this heritage until they take a hold of it and begin to make it a part of their lives and it's a priority for them. As life goes forward, every Friday night that we eat together, every time Rebekah and Jason come over to play dominoes or cards, every time the cousins get together at Scott's house for games and fun, every time I drive to Hesston to visit Mervin and Wayne and Clara, every occasion we worship together, every time I drive out to Kevin's or Jay's or they stop in at my house, and also, I'm including those weekly or more often chats with my sister - all of those are building blocks, strongly and sturdily standing on the foundation of forever relationships - it's an amazing and humbling experience. Those brothers I don't see often because they live away - I know one phone call and they are here. There's nothing more valuable to me than that.

May my children and grandchildren yet to be born share in that same rich blessing of extended family. I want to be able to look down from heaven someday (if we can do that from there) and see a whole roomful of Planks, Basses, Simmonses and Elwells - spending time with one another, loving one another, and continuing to build on that foundation already laid for them. Trust me, all you family who read this, you won't regret it. I don't know of anyone who on their deathbed said, "You know, I wish I wouldn't have spent so much time with my sister. I wish I wouldn't have cultivated a relationship with my brother." Right? Amen!

What's wrong, what's right

It's been an interesting week. Already. I've done a little gang education with two 4th graders who were using gang signs during a math class - yes, that's right, 4th graders. I'm in the middle of evaluating a child, who, it has been discovered, English is her/his 3rd language. I would tell you the first two, but that's too much identifying information. Nevertheless, evaluating the academic progress and ability of a child who has not sufficient aquisition of English is certainly challenging. I met with a parent regarding her concerns for her child, recently diagnosed with Autism. And, I listened to a staff member who came in my office in tears about a difficult situation, again, with a parent. Did I mention I've been doing a functional behavior assessment with a student who has severe ADHD, however, is unmedicated and in my opnion, unparented? This child is alone after school, and spends time riding her/his bike in the neighborhood, and hangs around a friend who also is unparented, and together, they go to a nearby park to occupy their time as well as other places, unsupervised. Doesn't seem to bother either of them - and as long as they are home by 8, it's "no problem!" Did I mention it's dark at 8? Did I mention that they are 9 and 10?

That's one reason I like this job so much. Every day is different. Every day is a challenge. Every day is an opportunity to sharpen skills and try to make a difference in the life of somebody. Every day brings heartache, but also at times, joy. To balance all of the above, while I was driving to work this morning, I stopped behind a school bus and waited for kids to load up. I watched a dad waiting with his son at the bus stop. Dad hugged his boy, waited while he boarded the big bus, and, as the bus pulled away, waved to his son, who was waving at the bus window. Both had big smiles. The connection between father and son was evident. I know that kid had a good day - but, if for some reason he didn't, I know dad is there for him - and you can't buy that with all the money in the world. I love to see examples of good parenting. It uplifts me and helps me know that not all is wrong in the world, when often, that's all I do see during the day.

It's only been 2 months

I have needed to blog for the last several weeks, but every time I sit here, I cannot seem to get my thoughts together. Many times I feel that no one really cares what I think, or observe, or comment about. Other times I don't have words to describe what I'm feeling or what's important to me.

I know people check this blog frequently for postings and I appreciate that some of you hang in there with me with nothing appears for weeks and weeks. I know this is good therapy for me, and a good way to practice self-discipline - but if I were REALLY disciplined I'd be writing a journal on a Big Chief tablet with a fat pencil. (Remember those?) You could never tell this by looking at me or my house, but I'm somewhat of a perfectionist. You don't know how many times I don't write because I think it won't be good enough - and that's sort of the way I live my life. If I can't be "good", I don't want to attempt it at all. In the same way, my blogs never ever meet my standard of what's good enough. But, like any other vice, this twisted thinking can be mediated - however, the only mediation is actually performing the task.

There's a lot going on with my life that's right, and some that's not. I gain comfort from simple pleasures - and, like most of you, I struggle. Recently I've walked through the arboretum in Hesston and took some pictures. I'm not a good photographer by any means, but what a jewel of a place - and what a privilege to experience what feeds the soul.

Feeding the soul - taking care of the spirit - centering yourself - being quiet - listening for God's direction - being thankful - exercising the mind and body - writing in a blog - - why is this so hard, but yet so necessary?

My daughter and I went shoe shopping yesterday - and we laughed until our sides hurt. The poor man at the shoe store surely thought he had gone nuts but it seemed that we were able to turn a chore of drudgery into an opportunity to enjoy life, to make fun of ourselves, and to bring bemused forgiving smiles to other shoppers. I won't soon forget that experience - and of how God brings those wonderful moments to us - how they feed the soul, lift the spirit, and help you know what's important in life.

I love you all-

The cost of family relationships

Last night I was with a small group of friends who were discussing their families. I was saddened to hear of one woman who has two sisters who have not spoken to her in several months, and of another woman whose mother/stepfather - father/stepmother relationship is complicated and divisive, and of someone else who has a brother living in California where for years, there has been no contact.

Recently I heard from a relative who was writing to me about another relative - a niece of my dad's - my first cousin. I haven't seen or visited with this woman in a long time - she is in ill health and lives in a town about 70 miles from here, however, I learned in this email that her son also has not been to visit her (she resides in a nursing home) or to check on her well-being in quite some time. It was commented that he visited her when she was receiving social security because he needed money, but now that she is in a nursing home, she doesn't have access to those funds so he doesn't visit.

I cannot conceive of the idea of having a sister I don't speak to, or a brother who I can't be in the same room with, or a child who only needs me for money. The concept of inviting family over but making sure that Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Milton are not invited on the same day eludes me. And worst of all, to have a child who seeks my companionship only when it benefits them is just beyond me - yet - it happens frequently. I find that often, the people who are splintered out and cut off from fractured families are actually warm, intelligent, friendly, and loving - but for some reason, they have been cut out.

And wills - oh my, what a divisive thing a will can be! In my small circle, there are three situations going on where people have been eliminated from a will by a dying relative and even after things have gone to court and been settled, there is no end to the bitterness and heartbreak and grudges that come - over money, land, property, china, things things things things - these are just THINGS people! THINGS! Things that are temporary and that you can't take it with you - things that will eventually be destroyed anyway - but relationships - what price can you put on a relationship? How much does a hug from a brother or sister cost? Apparently, for some people, it costs a parcel of land, an heirloom china cabinet, or cash in the bank. How sad.

Musings

My niece got married last Saturday, so before and after the wedding, there were many folks here from various places to reconnect and to celebrate this occasion. My sister and her kids came a few days early, so we got to spend some time with her. I really enjoyed seeing her, and seeing her new "self" - she's been successful in her efforts in losing weight and looked great!

Everybody's gone back home and I'm back to trying to get some sort of routine going. I've still got all the chores waiting for me that I decided to work on this summer, so, today's July 1 and it's time to get started. I think one of the problems is that they seem so gargantuan that I don't know where to begin, but just take a baby step, for cryin' out loud, she says to herself - that's better than doing NOTHING.

It's so pleasant and cool today that I have the windows open and the AC off - I would imagine that soon, I'll be turning it on though. Lydia survived "dog camp" while I was busy with wedding and family reunion duties and now is sacked out on the floor. I upped her allergy meds and they make her sleepy, unfortunately, but at least she's not scratching and biting herself.

Well - I'm off to get some chores done. More later....

June Days

It's been warm, humid, and well, June weather. Lots of rain. Lots of heat. The wheat is ripening well and cutting should begin in a couple of weeks. I've had a good time helping a brother celebrate a 50th birthday milestone and today, I enjoyed being with Rebekah as we waited on the one-hour optical place to finish her glasses. Tonight I spent time with some women in a Bible study group, and had dinner with a friend at IHOP - I had a pretty good spinach-veggie omelet.

Tomorrow I'm heading back to Curves for the first time since "the fall" on Thursday, May 26. I hope I can begin to feel better soon - maybe moderate exercise will help with that. I know Lyd misses our walks - Josh hasn't had time to take her either. Maybe I'll get brave and do that also this week. She'll be grateful. I'll be careful. Maybe it will all work out.

A few thoughts from Dave Barry:

Have you noticed that whatever sport you are trying to learn, some earnest person is always there telling you to keep your knees bent?

Guys are simple - women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is, guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

If you had to identify in one word , the reason why the human race has not achieved, and will never achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings".

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.

Never under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Simple Pleasures

Warm sand between bare toes
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A smiling dog
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The first green shoot in a garden
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Good iced tea
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A toasted marshmallow
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A tug on a fishing line
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Shooting stars
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Hearing someone else's belly laugh
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Sleeping, peaceful babies
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A quiet church sanctuary
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Breeze through my front porch screens
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Cold watermelon
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An unexpected encounter with a friend
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Towels flapping on a clothesline
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A bill paid in full
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A game of Mexican Dominoes
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Simple things of life

To look for the simple things in life that help you pause to give thanks - what an awesome thing that can be! For example, Rebekah and I took Rachel and Gabe to the park yesterday - not just any park, but one built especially for toddlers and kids with special needs. These two saw the water and sand play area and that was all they did except Rachel did swing some. We helped them take their shoes and socks off and for the next hour, they played right there. Before we left, they got their clothes changed so that mom wouldn't have a heart attack. They had just a little sand in their hair - and probably more than that tracked into their van, but oh well...it's only sand. It's only dirt. It'll wash off. We stopped at Sonic and got them PURPLE slushes and then took two urchins home to momma. (!)

Back

School is out and I now have time to ruminate about things - maybe that's good, or maybe that's not so good - oh well, I shouldn't spend time ruminating about how I ruminate about things. Yeah. Whatever she said.

Lots has happened since I wrote last. I've had an adult child move in with us - not a bad experience, just "different". Same adult child had his vehicle stolen last Sunday while it was parked at church, so now he is making plans daily for his transportation to and from work. When he works days we figured out he can take the bus - an hour to and from, but better than walking. When we works nights, he has to make other arrangements.

The other significant thing is that I fell last Thursday, almost a week ago, when walking Lydia. I injured my right knee and left hand (what I used to catch myself), but also somehow bruised my ribs, shoulder, and back on the right side as well. Since Thursday, I have lived with this chronic pain and I'm not sure I'm made of the kind of stuff that can tolerate this without complaining. I know there are people who live day in and day out with chronic unrelenting pain in their physical bodies and still manage to live life abundantly - and I don't know how they do it. I'm living in the fog of pain relievers during the day and stronger medicine at night to help me sleep as no position - sitting, standing, laying, or reclining - can be accomplished without hurting. It does no good to talk about it, complain about it, or whine about it. It is what it is. There's no treatment to expediate healing. It just is until it is healed.

Many folks suffer daily with much more than what I carry and it reminds me to be grateful for the blessing of a body that will eventually heal. My heart is stirred by those who are not so blessed but yet continue on with life in spite of how they feel - I'm humbled by your example.