Dear God, I just want to ask you a question, which is, why me? Don't misunderstand, not why me in the sense of, why is this happening to me, but - the opposite - why did this brain thing happen to me in just exactly the right place at exactly the right time?
Why was I not careening down Kellogg at 60+mph going to or from a school or downtown? Why was I not babysitting my grandson alone, or why not a million and one other scenarios that are so dreadful and so tragic that I can't even think about them without my heart breaking?
Why did you look down on your millions of children and know what was going to happen to my little brain, and then orchestrate this event in such a way that there was no trauma to anyone else, nor was there worse injury to me?
I am overwhelmed with grief and sorrow at what could have been - it washes over me in waves. The words "grateful" and "thankful" do not begin to describe my heartfelt gratitude to the Almighty Maker of heaven and earth, to the Creator of all and the Author of my redemption - how amazing and wonderful you are. I know You know me. I am reminded of an Old Testament passage - of Hagar saying, "I have now seen the God Who sees me." Hagar gave God this name - El Roi - the God who sees.
In recent events, there's so many people who have been innocently going about their life's responsibilities when suddenly, out of nowhere, because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, there is gut wrenching agony for those who loved them. Most of the time, life doesn't make sense.. And so, what choice for me but to rest in your unchanging grace no matter what happens to me, my family, or my brothers and sisters around the world. Your faithfulness is great, you are a God who keeps all your promises. My best and only recourse is to trust in You no matter what happens or doesn't happen. This place is not my home, but you are the God who sees.
"His oath, his covenant, his blood,
Support me in the whelming flood,
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay."
Verse 3, "The Solid Rock", by Edward Mote
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