Catching Up

I've not posted in a long time, and I've got a brother nagging me...so, here ya go. Just sort of an update on what's been going on.

I am enjoying a few days off for the "winter recess". Actually I started it 3 days earlier than my colleagues because I fractured a rib on Friday evening, Dec 17. Long story, but it began with a fall in a parking lot the Saturday before, and ended a week later with my dog playfully headbutting me on the floor and me experiencing great pain and agony on my right side, so bad I cried most of Saturday morning while waiting for someone to come and rescue me and take me to the MEC. You would think with the number of people in my family who carry their own personal communication devices known as "cell phones" with them, that I would have been able to find somebody in 2 hours to answer their phone. But that's a whole other post to write when I'm feeling curmudgeonly. My husband finally happened to come home for his lunch hour to find me and bundled me off to the doctor's office.

SO, I'm now almost 2 weeks recouperated, and every day gets a little better, but having constant pain in my side is my new "normal", so that's an adjustment. I'm off the highpowered drugs except at night, so yesterday, I resumed driving which was also good for me. I enjoyed shopping and lunch with my daughter today, and did quite a few errands, so I'm ready for some narcotic relief.

I'm kinda glad Christmas is over. I was disappointed in not being able to attend family and church functions that I wanted to - however, we had a grand time Christmas Day at Kevin's. I'm a person that kind of thrives on routine and when it's interrupted a LOT, I get out of my element. Does that sound like an old person or what! But the routine of work and daily activities really helps keep me sane I think. I love my summers off but I have to DO something in order to not just while away the hours in mindless pursuits for 60 days straight.

Even while I'm on this break I've thought of the things that await me. I check my work email every couple of days or so and consider what I'm going to do the first week of January. I wonder how my kids are - the ones that I go to bed thinking of. My prayer is that they are safe, warm, fed, and nurtured, somehow, someway. I know they can't wait for school to start again - you talk about safety in routine. For many of them, school is their safe place, their nurturing place, the place where they are fed and warmed.

School budget cuts loom in the future - Wichita has to cut 20 million dollars for next year, which was the last figure I heard. I'd like it to not be all about the money, but it is. If I were a senior living on a fixed income, I'd probably complain about my taxes too.

Not too long ago, Igave a tour of one of my schools to a cranky old man who wondered where all his tax dollars were going. I was heartened to see him step inside a public school and see what all we do - he now has a better idea of what's going on. I would encourage anyone who hasn't set foot in a public elementary school in a long time to do so. You will be amazed, and glad you did. Don't judge public education by what you see in the media. Go by and see for yourself.

November 30

It's almost the midpoint in the school year and so far, things have been busy and challenging. I am serving two public elementary schools, and a Catholic school that's near one of the schools I'm assigned to. Did you know that students who attend private schools are entitled to special education services if they are found eligible? They receive those services in a public school, so every day there's a bus that comes over and brings the parochial students. It's a challenge to work out schedules at times - when parents make the decision to send their children to private schools, it's usually for religious reasons - and so we work very hard to make sure they are able to get that religious instruction.

I'm seeing some students for counseling, and am working on a behavior plan for a student who has great emotional needs - she/he is living in a home environment that's detrimental to the student growing and maturing academically and emotionally - however, it's been determined that the situation is not severe enough to warrant involvment by our esteemed child protective services. You'll be seeing this kid's name in the paper in about 10 years.

It was cold and windy out yesterday and today. I did manage to take the dog for a walk when I got home but she was ready to come in after about 25 minutes and so was I. In the evenings I'm keeping busy reading and, I've recently re-taught myself to crochet - and, Rebekah, I AM getting your last tea towel done! Maybe by Christmas!

Christmas music is playing everywhere, and I've finally bought some new lights to go around the top of the house under the gutter. I need to get my son to help me put up the clips so we can string them up. I did look at LED lights - my - they are terribly expensive. I realize all the advantages but good grief - I can't spend 200.00 on Christmas lights. My youngest son and daughter in law have already got theirs up and are enjoying them. I could never get him to help me with lights when he lived at home, but see - this is what happens when you fall in love...

I recently celebrated a birthday - and I'm on the downhill slide to 60. I don't FEEL my age - I'm not quite ready for an assisted living center, but I'm telling you, when I think about retiring in 10 years, I can't believe life has gone by this fast. I'm so hoping I am in good health and can enjoy my work - and, most importantly, can continue to do my job well as I, um, "age". (Like cheese and fine wine? I'm not sure about that!)

Ren the Cat

A remarkable thing happened this week - and yes, I realize this is off-topic, but hey. It's my blog. I can post whatever I want to!

A friend of mine has a 20 year old, deaf, "Morris" cat named Ren. Ren went missing a week ago Saturday. She looked throughout the neighborhood for Ren, but in vain, and posted this sad news on her facebook page. A prayer was said that Ren might be united with his owner. Sunday went by. No Ren. Monday morning came - she told me that she still hadn't seen him, and feared the worst.

Monday evening I attended a Bible study in another friend's home. I mentioned after we were through with the lesson that my friend was missing Ren, and the other ladies promised to pray that he would be reunited with his family. One woman attending asked me where my friend lived, and I told her - and she realized that she lived not in the same neighborhood, but in the same general area and that she would look for him. Another woman said she lived a few blocks away from the first woman, and that she would also keep an eye out for Ren.

Tuesday. I emailed my friend and asked if she had a photo of Ren she could send me, and she did. I forwarded the photo to my two friends from Bible study so that they would know what he looked like. I forwarded that email about 4:30 on Tuesday afternoon.

If you've made it this far, the best is yet to come. Here's the interesting part: About 9:50 that evening, my friend checked her school email (something she does not do very often from home) and found the photo I had sent her. Ten minutes later, at about 10:00, her children arrived home, and stated that, yes, you guessed it, there was a CAT on the front porch. She looked out her glass door, and indeed, an orange tabby cat was just sitting there on her porch staring back at her. She immediately recognized him from the picture that she had just seen - yes, it was Ren. She called my friend and quickly, Ren was reunited with his loving owners. He was about 1.3 miles from home, and in order to get to my friend's front porch, had to cross a busy thoroughfare. Not only that, but there are literally dozens of houses in my friend's neighborhood. Dozens. There are houses across the street, next to her, on every lot, on every block. Dozens of homes with front porches.

Somehow, someway, Ren the cat ended up on THAT porch. Of THAT house. At THAT time of the evening. Right AFTER she got the email from me with his picture. AFTER I had mentioned it at Bible study. AFTER we had prayed that Ren would be found.

I tell this story and I am humbled and amazed by this obvious answer to prayer. Both Ren's "mom" and "dad" graciously thanked me for what I did to get Ren back home, but it wasn't me. It was nothing less than God, hearing our prayers, and gently picking up a 20 year old deaf cat, and placing him right on my friend's porch, where her children would see him as they came in the door late that night. It was God not only caring for this cat, but loving us through this act of His supernatural working.

I am a Christian, but I gotta say that in my experience, these situations do not happen very often. When they do, I am filled with gratitude and amazement. We serve a God who holds the universe together, and who listens to His children as they ask Him for what they need.

I am also the first to admit that I don't know how this works. I don't understand why some prayers are answered and some are not. I don't know why people suffer, I don't know why God doesn't heal those who ask Him, I don't know why He works in some situations and appears to ignore others, I have no answers. I don't know why bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. I have no speculation - I just flat don't understand it. But my faith is not diminished by these seemingly incongruent responses from God - instead, I marvel all the more at His perfect plans for His children. It isn't mine to understand - that's not my responsibility. If I could understand it, I'd be able to figure God out - and who can do that? Certainly not me and certainly not anyone that I know.

So Ren is safe, and God is honored in this situation. It was a blessing for me to see this unfold right before my very eyes and I pray that my spiritual eyes might glimpse a vision of how the Maker of the universe cares for His own. And for kitties. Dear readers, I hope you will find encouragement and that your faith will be strengthened by reading this story. Blessings to each of you this week.

October busyness

I told somebody the other day that this is the busiest October I think I've ever had. There's lots to do ALREADY and it just keeps coming. I went to an expulsion hearing last week which was quite interesting - I wish I could share details, but, alas, not a good idea. I will say that the student appeared to be pretty casual about the whole thing - I'm not sure she/he grasped the significance of what was happening, or if they did, they didn't care.

Behavior problems continue to be at the top of the page of things I deal with every day. Students these days really do not know how to be kind, courteous, and civil to one another and so, apparently, we have to teach them, but this is sometimes a losing battle. I had a young man in my office last week who had no problem telling me that I wasn't his boss and he didn't have to do what I told him to. He explained to me that I could just call security because he wasn't scared of anybody. He continually tried to engage me in conversation and was more than willing to let me know just what he was going to do or not do - and not only that, but he was telling ME what I could do. I did not reply to him, which frustrated him - and I wondered if he was going to pick up a chair and throw it at me. Did I mention that he's 7?

I've been working with another young student who lives with a single parent who is employed in a job you wouldn't want to tell your grandmother about. This young person has a vocabulary that would make a sailor blush, but is so needy for attention and for positive affirmation that she/he will do about anything for a look or a touch from an adult. And along the way, we've got to teach her/him to read. Did you realize that all students, yes, 100% of our students, have to meet state assessment standards by 2014? The bar is raised every year for reading, math, science and writing, until, by 2014, it will be at 100%. Let's see - 2014 - this kid will be in 5th grade. I wonder what he's gonna be like. Probably NOT passing state assessments, I would guess.

So anyhow, this next week is conferences which means late nights on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. After conferences we always get parent requests for evaluations - I truly have job security I think.

It's been beautiful weather and I've enjoyed every minute of this October. I went to the symphony concert this afternoon - that Gustav Mahler - I enjoyed hearing his Symphony #2 in C Minor - "Resurrection". Century II's rennovation is wonderful - the seats are actually comfortable with a nice amount of space between the rows. (I can say that because I'm not over 6 foot tall, trying to fold my frame like a grasshopper...)

Have a good week, all.

Who will win?

It's cool, cloudy, and finally, a nip of fall is in the air. I'm glad to see it - although I love warm weather, I'm not sure I could live in summer all the time as some parts of the world do. One of the things I've always loved about Kansas is that we have 4 distinct seasons here.

It was a difficult week, as I put my 55 year old brain power to work trying to work on a functional behavior assessment for a student who already, at the tender age of 10, doesn't seem to care about the choices she/he makes. This student has a lot of people who care (mainly at school), but I think environmental influences at home are going to get her/him. I spoke with a relative last week who does understand that the situation is gravely serious, but, who also tends to make excuses-and frankly, I might do some of that too if someone were speaking to me about my kid, but there's a host of help around if only this family would avail themselves of it. We'll see what happens this next week. Compared to what this kid finds exciting and an adventure, I'm sure 4th grade math and reading are not in the running for what captures her/his attention.

Family Relationships

Warning: personal reflections to follow, not necessarily job related. I know some people read this blog for school psychologist perspectives, and that's fine, but as with all of you, I'm more than my job. And that "more" sometimes presses for expression.

I'm thinking about things right now which have to do with relationships - both familial and friendship. I was having breakfast today with my daughter and her husband and my oldest son, and the topic turned to the value of relationships with siblings, parents, and with extended family - aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. I don't think my son in law would mind me sharing this (if he does, it's too late...), but one of the things my daughter told him before they were married was that if he did not establish positive, warm, relationships with her family, all of her family, she would not continue in a relationship with him. She considered that to be a dealbreaker. I was surprised that she placed that sort of value on this group of 35 or 40 people we call family, but I was pleased that she valued that in her life and saw it as essential.

My husband has often spoken about the relationship he has with his brother, or perhaps doesn't have with his brother, and how he wishes it could be different. He views it as a situation that is not likely to change, both of them going to their graves with regrets. When my oldest son heard these comments, his comment was, "I do not want to live like that. I'm not doing that." He said it with such a look of determination and passion that we listening were silenced. Perhaps that's why he spends time cultivating a relationship with his sister and her husband and his "adopted" brother, Bob. He sees that, values it, respects it, and it has a place in his life.

When children grow up, roles and relationships change. It's sometimes difficult to find your way around when navigating relationships with adult offspring, and I'm still learning how to do that. But I'm glad that my kids have the model before them of family - of flawed people loving each other in spite of idiosyncrasies and diverse viewpoints of life. It's up them whether or not they will take that baton and run with it - and some seem to have already done that. I can only hope, for the sake of their generation and those that follow, that they will do so joyfully and with purpose. In 40 years or sooner, who knows, I won't be here. I won't leave a lot of material possessions and money to any of my kids. What I do leave them, however, is a heritage of faithfulness to the God who created them, and a love indescribable for family - for people that God picked to surround you with at birth. My children will not be able to take advantage of this heritage until they take a hold of it and begin to make it a part of their lives and it's a priority for them. As life goes forward, every Friday night that we eat together, every time Rebekah and Jason come over to play dominoes or cards, every time the cousins get together at Scott's house for games and fun, every time I drive to Hesston to visit Mervin and Wayne and Clara, every occasion we worship together, every time I drive out to Kevin's or Jay's or they stop in at my house, and also, I'm including those weekly or more often chats with my sister - all of those are building blocks, strongly and sturdily standing on the foundation of forever relationships - it's an amazing and humbling experience. Those brothers I don't see often because they live away - I know one phone call and they are here. There's nothing more valuable to me than that.

May my children and grandchildren yet to be born share in that same rich blessing of extended family. I want to be able to look down from heaven someday (if we can do that from there) and see a whole roomful of Planks, Basses, Simmonses and Elwells - spending time with one another, loving one another, and continuing to build on that foundation already laid for them. Trust me, all you family who read this, you won't regret it. I don't know of anyone who on their deathbed said, "You know, I wish I wouldn't have spent so much time with my sister. I wish I wouldn't have cultivated a relationship with my brother." Right? Amen!

What's wrong, what's right

It's been an interesting week. Already. I've done a little gang education with two 4th graders who were using gang signs during a math class - yes, that's right, 4th graders. I'm in the middle of evaluating a child, who, it has been discovered, English is her/his 3rd language. I would tell you the first two, but that's too much identifying information. Nevertheless, evaluating the academic progress and ability of a child who has not sufficient aquisition of English is certainly challenging. I met with a parent regarding her concerns for her child, recently diagnosed with Autism. And, I listened to a staff member who came in my office in tears about a difficult situation, again, with a parent. Did I mention I've been doing a functional behavior assessment with a student who has severe ADHD, however, is unmedicated and in my opnion, unparented? This child is alone after school, and spends time riding her/his bike in the neighborhood, and hangs around a friend who also is unparented, and together, they go to a nearby park to occupy their time as well as other places, unsupervised. Doesn't seem to bother either of them - and as long as they are home by 8, it's "no problem!" Did I mention it's dark at 8? Did I mention that they are 9 and 10?

That's one reason I like this job so much. Every day is different. Every day is a challenge. Every day is an opportunity to sharpen skills and try to make a difference in the life of somebody. Every day brings heartache, but also at times, joy. To balance all of the above, while I was driving to work this morning, I stopped behind a school bus and waited for kids to load up. I watched a dad waiting with his son at the bus stop. Dad hugged his boy, waited while he boarded the big bus, and, as the bus pulled away, waved to his son, who was waving at the bus window. Both had big smiles. The connection between father and son was evident. I know that kid had a good day - but, if for some reason he didn't, I know dad is there for him - and you can't buy that with all the money in the world. I love to see examples of good parenting. It uplifts me and helps me know that not all is wrong in the world, when often, that's all I do see during the day.

It's only been 2 months

I have needed to blog for the last several weeks, but every time I sit here, I cannot seem to get my thoughts together. Many times I feel that no one really cares what I think, or observe, or comment about. Other times I don't have words to describe what I'm feeling or what's important to me.

I know people check this blog frequently for postings and I appreciate that some of you hang in there with me with nothing appears for weeks and weeks. I know this is good therapy for me, and a good way to practice self-discipline - but if I were REALLY disciplined I'd be writing a journal on a Big Chief tablet with a fat pencil. (Remember those?) You could never tell this by looking at me or my house, but I'm somewhat of a perfectionist. You don't know how many times I don't write because I think it won't be good enough - and that's sort of the way I live my life. If I can't be "good", I don't want to attempt it at all. In the same way, my blogs never ever meet my standard of what's good enough. But, like any other vice, this twisted thinking can be mediated - however, the only mediation is actually performing the task.

There's a lot going on with my life that's right, and some that's not. I gain comfort from simple pleasures - and, like most of you, I struggle. Recently I've walked through the arboretum in Hesston and took some pictures. I'm not a good photographer by any means, but what a jewel of a place - and what a privilege to experience what feeds the soul.

Feeding the soul - taking care of the spirit - centering yourself - being quiet - listening for God's direction - being thankful - exercising the mind and body - writing in a blog - - why is this so hard, but yet so necessary?

My daughter and I went shoe shopping yesterday - and we laughed until our sides hurt. The poor man at the shoe store surely thought he had gone nuts but it seemed that we were able to turn a chore of drudgery into an opportunity to enjoy life, to make fun of ourselves, and to bring bemused forgiving smiles to other shoppers. I won't soon forget that experience - and of how God brings those wonderful moments to us - how they feed the soul, lift the spirit, and help you know what's important in life.

I love you all-

The cost of family relationships

Last night I was with a small group of friends who were discussing their families. I was saddened to hear of one woman who has two sisters who have not spoken to her in several months, and of another woman whose mother/stepfather - father/stepmother relationship is complicated and divisive, and of someone else who has a brother living in California where for years, there has been no contact.

Recently I heard from a relative who was writing to me about another relative - a niece of my dad's - my first cousin. I haven't seen or visited with this woman in a long time - she is in ill health and lives in a town about 70 miles from here, however, I learned in this email that her son also has not been to visit her (she resides in a nursing home) or to check on her well-being in quite some time. It was commented that he visited her when she was receiving social security because he needed money, but now that she is in a nursing home, she doesn't have access to those funds so he doesn't visit.

I cannot conceive of the idea of having a sister I don't speak to, or a brother who I can't be in the same room with, or a child who only needs me for money. The concept of inviting family over but making sure that Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Milton are not invited on the same day eludes me. And worst of all, to have a child who seeks my companionship only when it benefits them is just beyond me - yet - it happens frequently. I find that often, the people who are splintered out and cut off from fractured families are actually warm, intelligent, friendly, and loving - but for some reason, they have been cut out.

And wills - oh my, what a divisive thing a will can be! In my small circle, there are three situations going on where people have been eliminated from a will by a dying relative and even after things have gone to court and been settled, there is no end to the bitterness and heartbreak and grudges that come - over money, land, property, china, things things things things - these are just THINGS people! THINGS! Things that are temporary and that you can't take it with you - things that will eventually be destroyed anyway - but relationships - what price can you put on a relationship? How much does a hug from a brother or sister cost? Apparently, for some people, it costs a parcel of land, an heirloom china cabinet, or cash in the bank. How sad.

Musings

My niece got married last Saturday, so before and after the wedding, there were many folks here from various places to reconnect and to celebrate this occasion. My sister and her kids came a few days early, so we got to spend some time with her. I really enjoyed seeing her, and seeing her new "self" - she's been successful in her efforts in losing weight and looked great!

Everybody's gone back home and I'm back to trying to get some sort of routine going. I've still got all the chores waiting for me that I decided to work on this summer, so, today's July 1 and it's time to get started. I think one of the problems is that they seem so gargantuan that I don't know where to begin, but just take a baby step, for cryin' out loud, she says to herself - that's better than doing NOTHING.

It's so pleasant and cool today that I have the windows open and the AC off - I would imagine that soon, I'll be turning it on though. Lydia survived "dog camp" while I was busy with wedding and family reunion duties and now is sacked out on the floor. I upped her allergy meds and they make her sleepy, unfortunately, but at least she's not scratching and biting herself.

Well - I'm off to get some chores done. More later....

June Days

It's been warm, humid, and well, June weather. Lots of rain. Lots of heat. The wheat is ripening well and cutting should begin in a couple of weeks. I've had a good time helping a brother celebrate a 50th birthday milestone and today, I enjoyed being with Rebekah as we waited on the one-hour optical place to finish her glasses. Tonight I spent time with some women in a Bible study group, and had dinner with a friend at IHOP - I had a pretty good spinach-veggie omelet.

Tomorrow I'm heading back to Curves for the first time since "the fall" on Thursday, May 26. I hope I can begin to feel better soon - maybe moderate exercise will help with that. I know Lyd misses our walks - Josh hasn't had time to take her either. Maybe I'll get brave and do that also this week. She'll be grateful. I'll be careful. Maybe it will all work out.

A few thoughts from Dave Barry:

Have you noticed that whatever sport you are trying to learn, some earnest person is always there telling you to keep your knees bent?

Guys are simple - women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is, guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

If you had to identify in one word , the reason why the human race has not achieved, and will never achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings".

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.

Never under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Simple Pleasures

Warm sand between bare toes
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A smiling dog
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The first green shoot in a garden
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Good iced tea
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A toasted marshmallow
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A tug on a fishing line
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Shooting stars
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Hearing someone else's belly laugh
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Sleeping, peaceful babies
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A quiet church sanctuary
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Breeze through my front porch screens
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Cold watermelon
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An unexpected encounter with a friend
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Towels flapping on a clothesline
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A bill paid in full
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A game of Mexican Dominoes
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Simple things of life

To look for the simple things in life that help you pause to give thanks - what an awesome thing that can be! For example, Rebekah and I took Rachel and Gabe to the park yesterday - not just any park, but one built especially for toddlers and kids with special needs. These two saw the water and sand play area and that was all they did except Rachel did swing some. We helped them take their shoes and socks off and for the next hour, they played right there. Before we left, they got their clothes changed so that mom wouldn't have a heart attack. They had just a little sand in their hair - and probably more than that tracked into their van, but oh well...it's only sand. It's only dirt. It'll wash off. We stopped at Sonic and got them PURPLE slushes and then took two urchins home to momma. (!)

Back

School is out and I now have time to ruminate about things - maybe that's good, or maybe that's not so good - oh well, I shouldn't spend time ruminating about how I ruminate about things. Yeah. Whatever she said.

Lots has happened since I wrote last. I've had an adult child move in with us - not a bad experience, just "different". Same adult child had his vehicle stolen last Sunday while it was parked at church, so now he is making plans daily for his transportation to and from work. When he works days we figured out he can take the bus - an hour to and from, but better than walking. When we works nights, he has to make other arrangements.

The other significant thing is that I fell last Thursday, almost a week ago, when walking Lydia. I injured my right knee and left hand (what I used to catch myself), but also somehow bruised my ribs, shoulder, and back on the right side as well. Since Thursday, I have lived with this chronic pain and I'm not sure I'm made of the kind of stuff that can tolerate this without complaining. I know there are people who live day in and day out with chronic unrelenting pain in their physical bodies and still manage to live life abundantly - and I don't know how they do it. I'm living in the fog of pain relievers during the day and stronger medicine at night to help me sleep as no position - sitting, standing, laying, or reclining - can be accomplished without hurting. It does no good to talk about it, complain about it, or whine about it. It is what it is. There's no treatment to expediate healing. It just is until it is healed.

Many folks suffer daily with much more than what I carry and it reminds me to be grateful for the blessing of a body that will eventually heal. My heart is stirred by those who are not so blessed but yet continue on with life in spite of how they feel - I'm humbled by your example.

Please don't forget

Karsyn Young and Vincent Hill. Do those names ring a bell with you? Karsyn and Vincent are two children in the Wichita area who died at the hands of their caretakers this year, 2010. Karsyn was 10 months old and was beaten to death by his mother's boyfriend. Vincent was 19 months old and died after both his mother and his father not only beat him to death, but apparently, abused him severely for several months prior to his fatal injuries.

I noticed a makeshift memorial in front of Vincent's home after his death and his parents were arrested. It said, "Vincent we love you." Really? Do we? A neighbor had phoned SRS to report possible child abuse after hearing Vincent scream loudly and long one day - and SRS did not investigate because there was no probable cause that abuse was occurring. Did we love Vincent? As a community, did we care about him and about Karsyn? I think the neighbor did the right thing by reporting, however, I hope we have learned a lesson. If you suspect a child is being hurt, please don't call SRS first. Call 911 first or go to your local police station and fill out a report. THEN call SRS. Get involved. It's hard, I know. I've had occasion to report child abuse as part of my job. It's uncomfortable, it's sad, it's scary, and it's heartbreaking. But all the Karsyns and Vincents of your neighborhood are counting on you.

The other thing I hate is that I have no way to obtain information after I call SRS. If I call back and want to know the disposition of the report - if someone went to the home, if someone talked to parents, if someone came to the school - they say they cannot tell me this information. Why is that? And why do some things have to be reported many times before home visits are made?

I would like SRS to be fully accountable to somebody in this state for every report they receive - whether they followed up on it and why or why not. I'd like somebody to oversee the whole organization of Kansas Child Protective Services. I'd like to pay social workers more than you can make at McDonalds so that highly qualified people are chosen and trained to do this thankless nightmarish job. I'd like to hear stories of children who are successfully reintegrated back in the home and of parents who are parenting better. I'd like to hear success stories of children who have been adopted into loving homes after no more than 12 months in foster care. I think we owe nothing less to the children in this community who belong to all of us.

Things your child's teacher would tell you if they could.

From Reader's Digest:

1. We are not the enemy. Parents and teachers are really on the same side.

2. The truth is simple: Your kid will probably lie to get out of trouble.

3. We can tell the difference between a parent helping their kid with homework, and a parent who actually does it for him (especially when the kid is clueless the next day in class).

4. Teaching is a calling. There's not a teacher alive who would say they went into this profession for the money.

5. Just because your child says he did his homework doesn't mean it's true. You must check. Every night.

6. Parents give their kids pricey gadgets when actually, what kids crave is for you to talk to them. They want to know you are interested in their lives.

7. We spend money out of our own pockets to buy things our students need.

8. We wish parents would make kids own up to their own actions instead of pressure us to bend the rules.

9. Please stop doing everything for your child and making excuses for them. Allow them to make mistakes. How else will they learn?

10. We don't arrive at school 10 minutes before your child does. And we don't leave the minute they get on the bus. Many of us put in extra hours before and after school.

Two columns

Last posted on February 13th, huh. Well. It's been more than a month. Several times I've sat here and tried to put into words what I want to say, but they just don't come. It's so hard sometimes to describe how things affect you, or what you need, or what you have observed, or what has been learned.

I've saved a couple of newspaper columns to comment on, and I've had some changes in my work situation. Life happens, and then you go on, and sometimes your observations remain unsaid and unnoticed. That's ok. I'm not the epitome of self-expression, and people certainly don't need my contribution to this blog in order to go on with their lives.

The two columns I was going to comment on were published weeks ago - one on February 1 and one on February 13. Both different topics, both by columnists I don't agree with all the time, but I remain a loyal reader to both Leonard Pitts, columnist from the Miami Herald, and Clarence Page, a columnist who writes for Tribune Media Services. Both of these columns just made my soul weary.

In the first, Leonard Pitts is commenting about the insane comments of the Lt Gov. of the great state of South Carolina, Andre Bauer. (You may recall that the governor, Mark Sanford, was involved in some sort of nasty business with a woman from South America, lying to the voters who elected him and the world regarding his disappearance for more than 4 days. Turns out he was with her, half a world away. His wife has since been granted a divorce.)

Anyway, Mr. Pitts took the honorable Lt. Gov. Bauer to task when he compared poor people to stray animals. He (Bauer) stated: "My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Becaause they breed. You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that. And so what you've got to do is you've got to curtail that type of behavior. They don't know any better."

Blink. Blink. It STILL takes me aback after more than a month.

Mr. Pitts asks, "Who speaks for the poor? Who raises a voice when they are scapegoated and marginalized?" Good questions. But what I'm noticing is, there was a little media flap, but not much. There was a little on the news, but not much. The comment came and went. Had he said it about any other group of people, he would have been on his knees apologizing. He would have said many mea culpas. He would have possibly been asked to resign. But the poor? There's no power in poverty. And he knew it. I agree with Mr. Pitts. Bauer needs to know - sometimes, stray animals bite.

The other columnist wrote an article about Sarah Palin's horror at the use of the slur, and it IS a slur, "retard", which was used by Obama's Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel - he called some liberal democrats this word for threatening to attack the more conservative party members over health care reform. He states, "Who can argue with Palin's call for "decency", particularly since it comes from her, a mother of a child with developmental disabilities..." All true. Palin's son Trig has Down Syndrome. The Chief of Staff apologized privately for using this word.

I was gratified to see Palin's response to this. Finally! I thought. Someone who is defending the defenseless. Someone who knows, who has walked in those shoes. Hurray for her. But my cheers were short-lived, when conservative talk-show mogul Rush Limbaugh used this exact term to describe liberal Democrats and she DEFENDED his use of the word. She stated, "Rush Limbaugh was using satire. I didn't hear him calling a group of people whom he did not agree with 'effing retards'." Really. Then she must have not heard his response to the backlash: "Our politically correct society is acting like some giant insult has taken place by calling abunch of people who are retards retards."

I'm weary. Is there anyone connected with the political process who remains true to their convictions and beliefs? Anyone? Anyone who stands on truth? Anyone who doesn't change colors with the wind? Anyone who finds the use of the word "retard" inappropriate no matter who says it? Anyone who serves the American people selflessly, and with integrity and honor? Anyone who tells the truth? All the time? Anyone who doesn't look to re-election as the goal of life? Anyone who doesn't distort facts or statistics? Anyone who truly and with their whole heart, honors and serves God with a heart like Jesus? Or is that asking too much?

Considering 'Curing' Down Syndrome with Caution | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

Considering 'Curing' Down Syndrome with Caution Christianity Today A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

This is a long article, but one I found fascinating especially in my line of work. What do you think?

I'm a dinosaur

Well, here's the news for the week: I learned to text on my cell phone. I know you guys are all just aghast that I never knew how to do it until now, but it's true. I made it all the way to February of 2010 without learning.

I'm very clumsy. It takes me forever. I had a few glitches in it and I hear from my kid that if I'm going to text, I need an upgraded phone. My daughter has a phone with a tiny keyboard with teeny tiny little keys. I practiced on hers and my big old fingers were really clumsy but the keyboard "felt" right for me. I may have to invest in one of those kind of phones, plus she has a bigger screen on hers than mine is. And, with my newfound skills, we may have to upgrade our phone plan to include free texting, as it's 10cents a text now. We'll see how much I use it. I plan to "practice" every day so I won't forget how! Jay, I'm getting ready to send you one.

It was nice to see the sun some days this week. The snow is almost all melted. I've thought about my brother and sister-in-law in the Dallas area and all the snow they've had - good grief, what a fun winter for them! I see out my front window that the pile of snow in the school parking lot across the street is still visible above the 6 foot wooden fence, so we have melting to go yet.

What can I say about the job - we had inservice Friday and Monday we have President's Day. I know I should be "happy" about these days out, but every day that kids aren't there is another day that I can't get my work done. Next week I have so much stuff on my list to accomplish that I will hardly have time to breathe. Currently at one school, I have about 8 evaluations in the process, and at the other I have 6. They are all in different stages of being completed, but I hope by Friday, I'll be much further along. After spring break, the train starts rolling backwards down the hill, so I have a lot to look forward to!

We were going to take a trip over spring break, but with other financial stressors going on, are not able to do that. We're looking at taking a day trip or two around here. It's just leaving things for awhile, even if only a few hours, that helps your persepctive some.

My puppy is limping! I don't know what's wrong with her leg, last night after coming in from outside she couldn't put any weight on it and actually hopped around here on 3 legs. She also wouldn't let me take a good look at it. This morning she's bearing a little weight, but not much. If she's still having problems I'll have to take her to the vet on Monday. I guess dogs can sprain their ankles or knees, can't they? I was going to take her for a walk today as the weather is a bit warmer and it looks like the sun is coming out, but maybe not.

Have a great weekend, all.

Ethics

Every once in awhile in this job, a dilemma presents itself. A sticky problem arises. An ethical issue comes up. And, it's always a bit stressful to walk through. In that process, options are considered, but first, it's always incumbent to figure out two things: What are my responsibilities, and, what can I control? Often, the answers to those two questions will guide the rest of the thinking process, and, a process it is. At times like this, I'm always amazed at the amount of mental energy which can be expended - and you know, that is almost as draining as expending physical energy.

It's also very helpful to speak with colleagues, as they usually see possibilities and options that you didn't think of because your perspective was a bit clouded. The other thing which almost always is true is that there's usually no clean resolution. No clear cut path, no sudden bright light, and usually, no TA DA! Do THIS! Many times it's messy no matter what decision you make, and it's a matter of choosing the least "mess" to deal with in the aftermath, and trust me, there's always aftermath.

The responsibility to do the right thing is awesome. The way to go about it can be unclear. The fallout can be messy. Ethical values are easy to uphold in conversation, in training, in seminars, and in college classrooms, but sometimes, they are hard to put into practice. That's the nature of really trying to do the right thing.

Speaking of ethical values, a well known buisnessman is on trial for securities fraud here in Sedgwick County. It's been fascinating for me to follow the trial and read the interactive courtroom blog. I'm not saying he's guilty or not guilty. But I've learned some lessons watching his rise and fall. The man apparently did not learn from previous legal problems caused by him crossing the line with investors in other business ventures, and although he said he converted to Christianity, his ego swelled as he took pride in his accomplishments. In a recent business adventure, he began to cut corners in small unethical ways. He bragged about things that were almost true, but not quite. And because people want to believe that people change, and they want to believe the best about those who are charismatic, and appear business saavy and knowledgeable, he obtained a loyal following of people only to happy to give him money for his latest business venture. It was a disaster, and the house of cards fell. He truly built his life on sinking sand.

My dilemmas don't involve money, they involve other things less tangible, but still as important if not more so. The lesson for me - don't become so egotistical that you think you're above following ethical practices. They are there to keep your values from shifting and to help you know there's something bigger than you that you need to be accountable to.

Haitian Orphan Rescue

Maybe you read recently or heard about the group of Baptists from the US who went to Haiti in an effort to rescue orphans by taking them to the Dominican Republic to an "orphanage" (a building which had been a hotel) and then possibly trying to bring them back here for adoption. Ten American Southern Baptists were arrested at the border between the Dominican Republic and Haiti, having in their possession 33 children from 2 months to 12 years old. These folks knew that they did not have the proper paperwork or permission from the Haitian government for such a mission, however, one of the members of the group defended their actions by saying, "...we were just trying to do the right thing." According to the Associated Press, no charges have been filed yet as the Haitian government is still questioning the detainees. Also, there are reports that many of these children were not orphans at all and still had families willing to continue to provide care for them.

"We were just trying to do the right thing." Really. I don't think so. You know, I'm a Southern Baptist. And from time to time, I get in conversations with people who think that somehow, I'm part of the Baptist clan in Topeka who preach a gospel of hate (the Fred Phelpites at Westboro Baptist, and no, I'm nowhere near them in theology or anything else) - and so I am glad I can disown them as they aren't even on my planet in terms of religious beliefs. But these folks - these Baptists who went to Haiti are a part of my "family" so to speak. And I am appalled. And aghast. And saddened. And upset. And speechless. And aghast. (I already said that, I know).

Well intentioned, perhaps. Well meaning, maybe. But as Wade Burleson, pastor and faithful blogger says, "Unfortunately, our Southern Baptist friends were...very unwise, yes, even stupid." (http://kerussocharis.blogspot.com/). I am amazed that normally intelligent Christian people would somehow think that it was ok to do this, and that somehow, God would bless them, give them "traveling mercies", and help them find success in this mission. Why, oh why and how oh how do people ever think that God would sanction such an endeavor? And how on earth did they ever conceive that working outside the law would be endorsed by Baptists back here at home? How misguided they were! This casts a unfortunate shadow on the good work that Southern Baptists ARE doing in Haiti - we are providing disaster relief, medical help, and other aid as we always do worldwide when disaster strikes, and we do it through proper channels and with swift and timely execution. Check out the International Mission Board's website for further information about that if you're interested (http://www.imb.org/).

I don't know what should happen to these people, but my heart is broken for how this act of stupidity might impact what Southern Baptists and other relief organizations are doing, those who continue to work there with blood, sweat and tears and who are accomplishing their labors within the law, above board, and with respect for the people of Haiti. I am truly, deeply, saddened.

Sunday evening

9:40 on a Sunday night. I haven't posted in awhile, so thought I might sit down here and try to get something together. I spent a little time this afternoon working with my digital camera - and I gotta tell you, I'm just not meant to do technology. I finally figured out how to get pictures off my camera, but forgot that my daughter set up a "My Pictures" folder right on the desktop so I wouldn't have to look for them in Timbuktu. Once I remembered that, I found them. I think. I love my camera, and it does a lot but I dunno, it's like my brain freezes up. I finally figured out how to change the picture on my profile on facebook, and I don't even like what I changed it to, but I just wanted to see if I could do it. Maybe I'll put Lyd's picture on there. She's cuter than me.

We had a nice time at church this evening making music. Thanks to everyone who who participated. Thanks to PL for helping me play. And for the fellowship afterward.

A glimpse of the past

I've been going through some of my "treasures", and this last weekend, spent some time looking at old books. I have several textbooks that my dad used when he was in high school, and even a couple that his dad had, and one from his mother. Keep in mind that my dad was born in 1912, and his dad was born in 1870, so these books are pretty old. The ones his mother and dad used when they were students are copyrighted in 1880 and 1883. I have one that's called "New Fourth Grade Reader" that has my grandfather's initials on the back cover, but some pages are missing, so I don't know for sure how old it is, I would venture to say it also was printed in 1880 as well (he would have been 10 years old then). Here's a poem from this reader:

The Sky-Lark

The sky-lark, when the dews of morn
Hang tremulous on flower and thorn,
And violets round his nest exhale
Their fragrance on the early gale,
To the first sunbeam spreads his wings,
Bouyant with joy, and soars, and sing.

He rests not on the leafy spray,
To warble his exulting lay,
But, high above the morning cloud
Mounts in triumphant freedom proud;
And swells, when nearest to the sky,
His sweetest notes of ectasy.

Thus, my Creator! thus the more
My spirit's wing to Thee can soar
The more she triumphs to behold
Thy love in all thy works unfold:
And bids her hymns of rapture be
Most glad when rising most to Thee.

The "exercise" which follows this poem is this: "What should the happiness and the merry singing of the birds teach us?"

Did I mention this came from a 4th grade reader? As someone who works with elementary students, I thought this most interesting. There are many references in this book to God, and even a reading lesson from the Sermon on the Mount.

I have a book my dad used in high school, it's "Elementary Latin". The copyright was 1920. From the scribblings and doodlings in the book, I can see that dad was perhaps not entirely focused on his Latin lessons. He wrote his name on several pages, and it looks like he's traced circles in pencil maybe from a compass. There are 3 assignments on paper folded in the book that look like they were never completed and handed in. On the first page of the book, the introduction, is written in pencil, Bueno Dias, Senorita...so apparently, his mind was not on Latin that day.

But really, the most overwhelming evidence of dad's wandering thoughts is from the inside front cover. In pen, he had written this little verse: "The taller the tree, The thicker the bark, The closer you sit, The bigger the spark." Underneath that are three or four rows of cursive letter "E"s. Hmmm. What or who do you suppose he was thinking of?

If you're gonna lie, just admit it.

The Bible reading for today was the story of how Jacob and his doting mother Rebekah, deceived Jacob's father Issac into giving him the blessing that was usually reserved for the firstborn son, which in this case, would be Jacob's brother Esau. I just noticed today that when Jacob first objects to his mother's plan, he says this: "But my brother Esau is a hairy man and I'm a man with smooth skin. What if my father touches me? I would appear to be tricking him and would bring down a curse on myself rather than a blessing."

Did you catch that? Jacob doesn't say, I can't participate in this plan because I would be tricking my father. He says, "I would appear to be tricking him..." This one word changes the whole meaning, doesn't it! Jacob is not willing to man up and admit this is deceptive, he says it appears to be deceptive. He is already making excuses and playing with words, justifying to himself and his scheming mother this lie. I think Jacob would have made a great politician today, but even back then, he was promoted to a position of great responsibility and governing. Did his deceitful habits follow him? Maybe. Does it seem in general, as people ascend the ladder of their political and public careers, that they learn early on what to say, what not to say, and how to say it? As we do too. We do it privately, we do it publicly. We choose our words carefully when justifying our behavior to ourselves and to our families. Hmmm. There's a lesson to be learned here.

Monday Posting

Thankfully, the weather has moderated some and it's almost balmy out, compared to what it was last week. I'm no longer feeling quite so chilled. I mean, even in my house, which is old and drafty and just...I dunno, COLD, I was having a hard time staying comfortable in wind chills and temps so low. But tonight, it's 20, and I'm happy to see that. We had a frozen pipe, actually 2, last week - one thawed out pretty quickly with a blow dryer, the other one took involving a helpful brother with a radiant heater, and a spouse crawling under the house in a tight crawl space to position the heater and get the pipe warmed. Also thankfully, the pipe didn't split or crack so we got to keep our hard earned money instead of giving it to a plumber.

I'm busy at both schools, and, I have taken on an extra project of supervising a counseling practicum student for the spring semester. It won't require a lot of extra time because I know this person well and she will be responsible and do things the way they should be done, plus it might be something to add on a resume should I ever decide to seek other employment. I am also teaching a class at church, and just keeping pretty busy with ordinary mundane things.

The clock in the kitchen just sounded 10:00. My "adopted son" Michael gave it to me - it has birds pictured on it, and on the hour, a different bird sound eminates from this clock. It took me a couple of days to get used to hearing this, and you should have seen Lydia looking at it quizzically the first day or two I had it. It was pretty comical.

Well, I guess that's about it from my boring life. I will end this with some assorted observations, take them or leave them as you like:

**Congrats to my husband, one of the most rabid Dallas Cowboy fans ever. The Cowboys made mush of the Eagles last weekend and are headed to the playoffs for the first time in several years. The Chiefs remain an embarrassment to us all.

**The state budget crisis is affecting our schools in 259 in a big way. I ran into a teacher Saturday I used to work with at another school, and she told me she has 30 kids in her first grade classroom. They are beginning work on a new wing to the school, but her concern, and rightfully so, is that the district won't be able to hire teachers to staff this new addition.

**Brett Harris - where are you? I miss you on B98. You made me crazy with your ADHD-like radio patter sometimes, but for the most part, I enjoyed your "perkiness". Sign your contact with Clear Channel and get back to work.

**l love the CDs my son gave me for Christmas especially Beethoven's Symphony #9. Thanks, Dan.

**I had a conversation with someone, (let's call them "Lee"), who, let's see, how to say this without revealing too much - Lee had a family member who was in a very serious accident 3 years ago and that person sustained a tremendous traumatic head injury - they were in a coma 30 days and nearly died. However, Lee had the blessing of great insurance coverage from an employer, and their loved one got outstanding medical care, not only at the hospital but also at a follow-up rehab facility after discharge from the hospital. Coincidentally, another family about the same time had a loved one in an accident also with a serious head injury - the patients were in the same area in the hospital and family members became friends as they interacted in the waiting room. However, the person from the other family did not have any insurance coverage. Lee said the person with no insurance was discharged sooner from the hospital, and did not receive the level of followup care at a local rehab facility that their family member received - both were admitted to the very same facility within days of each other. Lee said that person did not have nearly as good as outcome as her/his family member did - and Lee believes it was due to the insurance situation. Just something to think about...

Have a good week, all.

Italian motorcycle police

Italian motorcycle police

I thought this was very cool. Enjoy a minute of mindless entertainment!