All Done In

It's about 7:30 in the evening, and I don't mind telling you, I am DONE. I'm hot, sweaty, and tired, and if I were to give you a litany of what I've accomplished, it probably won't seem like a lot. I picked up a couple of things at WalMart, took my mileage book downtown so the school district can pay me for the miles I put on my car last semester, and mailed a couple of letters. I went to the church to pick up the perishables I put in the church's fridge last night because our refrigerator was on the blink. (Thank you Jay, for coming by and helping us not only decipher what the problem was, but also, for helping Bruce fix it, thus, we avoided an expensive refrigerator man service call.) I cleaned out the furnace closet, and tried to use my carpet spotlifter machine to get mud out that was tracked in yesterday all over my freshly shampooed carpeting during the refrigerator crisis. I thoroughly cleaned both bathrooms. I cleaned the ceiling fan blades in the kitchen, and gathered up trash. I did 2 loads of laundry. I'm just flat tired, but it seems I should be able to do more than this without petering out.

Tomorrow morning, Bruce and I are going to see the new exhibit at Exploration Place - it's called, "Our Body-The Universe Within". It's a little controversial because the exhibit features real human cadavers which have been preserved through infusing them with liquid plastic. The cadavers are then posed and in some cases, sliced in order for visitors to get a unique glimpse into how our bodies function. It has been noted that visitors to this exhibit often exclaim wonderment at the creation of the human body, and are amazed at what an awesome "tent" (as the apostle Paul would say) we live in. I am looking forward to going, and will write of my impressions after our visit.

It's a breezy evening, cooler, but very humid. We didn't get any rain today, which is good, and I'm hoping the yard will be dry enough to mow. The neighbor has mowed hers so that's a good sign.

I think I'm ready for a shower. Tomorrow is sort of a "vacation day", not only are we going to the exhibit, I think we're going to see Prince Caspian. My daughter blessed her dad with some theater tickets for his birthday, so tomorrow might just be the day to use them. After that, we need to come home and do some yardwork-I've got some flowers and bushes to plant.

Here's to that good, tired, feeling you get when you've accomplished something-I'll sleep well tonight I'm sure.

Lost and Found

School is out, and officially, summer "vacation" has begun. We ended things at both schools on a frantic note, with many evaluations and meetings held in May. I am feeling relieved, and am ready to think about something else for awhile. I feel as if I have a lot to accomplish this summer and I'm certain the time will fly by fast.

So my big brother had to "rescue" me Friday evening. I'm sure he'll be blogging about it, so I'll beat him to the punch. His very nice home and backyard sit next to a walking trail which goes around Pawnee Prairie Park. My husband and son and I were out there Friday evening to help him move some furniture to his basement, and after the chore was done, I invited my spouse to come with me for a walk on the trail. Off we went, intending to go 10 or 15 minutes and then turn around and go back, getting in a nice 30 minute stroll. However, as we walked down the pleasant trail, instead of turning around, we elected to take a path to the left, thinking it would loop around in fairly short order and we would end up back at his yard. That was the first of several mistakes on this expedition. Pawnee Prairie is a densely packed tree and brush-laden park, and when evening falls, it gets dark along the path rather quickly. As time went on, we tried to follow confusing markers and several times stopped to decide where we should go as there seemed to be many paths, forks, and choices to make. My son was also with us, and has, unfortunately, not a lot of directional sense. On and on we went, trying to get our bearings as night fell. It was rather comical to me as I wondered how we were going to explain to someone that we were lost on the walking trails. I could envision helicopters with lights shining and police officers on horseback scouring the woods for these 3 dumb people who were unable to navigate around this large, forest-like park in the middle of the city. After an hour of walking, we finally came by an opening in the tall chain link fence surrounding the park- an opening at the beginning of a bike path. We immediately went out and landed on an intersection in a residential neighborhood, and had no idea where we were. My spouse, not a lifetime member of the Boy Scouts of America, thought we were somewhere near Tyler and the parking lot, turns out, we were close to Maize Road not anywhere near where he thought we were. We called Jay on our cell phone and he came and got us, several blocks from his home.

Today I googled Pawnee Prairie, and got the map the city puts out, and then I looked on Google at the satellite view. I can see how we got lost-it is a maze of major trails, minor paths, and forestation. It's also a BIG park-to walk around it completely would be 5 miles or more.

I was never panicked, but I did feel, at times as we were walking in the dark along a dirt path, trying not to trip over limbs and brush a little forsaken. Especially, when it was all over and I asked Jay, so, we've been gone longer than an hour-were you concerned about us? His answer was, "No, I thought you had come back and gotten in your car and left. I never missed you."

So there really are people in life who come and go, who leave familiar places and go somewhere else, or even who die, who are never missed by anyone. I think about what a lonesome life that must be-to be in this world and not be noticed, to not have a true friend, or family who would miss you if you weren't around. In the movie Shall We Dance, the character who protrays Richard Gere's wife says that is one of the purposes of marriage-to be a witness to what happens in someone's life-someone that you love and care for above all others. I'm thankful for that person in my life-my "not a Boy Scout" spouse, nevertheless, life without him would be unfathomable.

To teach or not to teach...

I have been very busy the last 2 weeks, and haven't had time to think about posting anything. It is difficult to explain to others what this time of year is like. My job has consumed my thoughts the last several weeks, and I am looking forward to some relief. After today, it'll be better. After Monday it will be a whole lot better. And after next Thursday, it will be glorious!

I need to do something to try to get back to normal, and after a few sleepless nights, maybe one of the things I can do is rest. I'm running on caffeine, baby, and it's not a good situation, but all I can do for right now.

I've heard from my now Wisconsin transplanted son that he's doing fine just fine and everything is peachy, so that's good news on the northern front. I haven't had time to miss him, but I imagine after school is out, I will really note his absence.

I met with the WSU prof who would be overseeing me as I teach that undergrad class this fall, IF I decide to do that. She gave me some materials and the textbook. I promised her I would look them over and give her a reply quickly. I just cannot make my mind up about what to do-even after meeting with her yesterday, I can't decide. The easy thing to do would be to say no, then I wouldn't have to think about it anymore. But there's something in me that always wants something more, something different, something else in life, and somehow, these opportunities manage to find me. But I have walked through open doors before and been elated and I've walked through open doors before and have had a ton of regrets. The thing with this is, if I hate it, it's only one semester, 15 weeks. If I like it, there may be other opportunities for me to do more. How do I know unless I try it? As one wise man said, "What could go wrong?"

So I think I'm leaning toward saying yes. If I bomb, I bomb. The worst that could happen would be I would never be asked to teach again, all the students would gripe about me on the evaluations at the end of the semester, and, I would fail to meet my own expectations. I think that last thing is the worst. I can overlook faults in others much easier than I can those same faults in myself. I have had teachers that have not met my expectations, and classes that I didn't like, and I've filled out evaluations that weren't complimentary of the teacher of the class. News flash: Those teachers are STILL teaching.

So, there you have it. If only I could tackle other problems in my life with this same tenacity and attitude...

So much to write about, so little time...

I wrote in earlier posts about a staff member I was having difficulty with-in terms of her wanting things a certain way and making decisions about the way I did my job that she had no right to make. I have stood up for myself the last couple of times that we have had to handle certain situations, so now she has taken to emailing me and questioning MY decisions. She cc's the principal and that's ok with me-I've got nothing to hide about anything I've ever done. I'm always polite and professional, but then I come home and get cranky with those I live with.

The person from the other school district who contacted me by email about a job offered a salary of 8K a year less than I will be making next year. I politely declined last night-see, I can be polite when I need to be. We'll see if there's a counteroffer or not. I would guess not.

On a different subject, I went out and cut some lilacs from the bush and brought them in the house last night. These lilacs are spring late bloomers, and, they are minature ones. These few are sure making the house scented. I noticed the peony plant is a lot bigger than it was last spring, and it has several buds on it. I would like to move it but am not sure when the best time is to do that. Somebody who knows about peonies needs to let me know that.

I've got a busy day today starting with a staff meeting at 8, an evaluation at 9:15, and another meeting at 3:00. Hopefully between times I will be testing testing testing kids. I shouldn't be this busy the last 3 weeks of school, but I am. I've already told the team that I'm NOT doing this next year - we're going to have to make some changes in how we schedule things. So, I'll be going. Have a great day, everyone.

Math and the simple brain

It's a very cool, breezy Saturday. I heard yesterday that Kansas had SNOW in the western part, around Goodland-good grief! It's the first of May! Thursday night we had a lot of rain, and a lot of hail. My brother said there were still hailstones in the yard of the place where he works when he went in Friday morning. And last night was flat cold. I wore a coat to work, had the car heater running, and turned on the furnace when I came home later in the evening. I will be SO GLAD for warm temperatures. When I leave this morning, I'm going to need my hoodie and again, the car heater. The sun's out, but it's windy AGAIN, and chilly.

So today I'm going down to the church this morning to practice the piano-Dan and I are doing "special" music tomorrow morning, and then I'm rehearsing with a soloist. She's singing an old standby, but she wants it in a different key. Whereas people like my son can quickly and efficiently transpose music with what appears to be minimal effort, I have to think about it, and write down chords.

Transposition is a mathematical function, and back in elementary and high school days, math was something that not only confused and bewildered me, but caused me a great deal of anxiety. It's hard to explain to a person who sort of automatically understands the concepts how it feels to not be able to "get it" right away. One's brain gets muddled and confused when one doesn't have that automaticity.

This was one of the reasons I became a school psychologist. I understand those kids who look at me blankly when I ask them to solve what appears to be a simple math problem. I was working with a 3rd grader yesterday who had difficulty, even after repeated instruction and practice with his teacher, understanding the concepts of fractions, whole and mixed numbers. The teacher was semi-exasperated when talking with me about it later. "He just doesn't get it!! I try and try and he doesn't get it!!" That's right, he doesn't. I remember struggling with fractions some. And, I remember my first piano teacher, Mrs. Brown, trying to explain to me the concept of quarter notes, half notes, and whole notes. Her examples involved trying to picture a whole apple, cutting it in half, how many pieces do you have, etc. I'm a visual learner. I needed her to bring me an apple and a knife, and show me. Then I needed to do it myself. Then I needed to draw it out, then, I might be able to understand. This third grade student I spoke of earlier needs a lot of visual input, which, this teacher does some-she draws pictures on the board etc. But he, like me, is a slow processer. I saw her yesterday, standing at the board, in front of the drawings, calling on him, and the agonizing 20 seconds or so it took him to think about the answer, while the other kids squirmed in their seats. I felt his anxiety, and his embarrassment when after all that time, he gave the wrong answer. I saw the other kids laugh to themselves.

And I saw me sitting there, 45 years ago. I knew exactly what he was feeling. I walked over to his desk later, put a hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eye. I didn't say a word, but I think he understood. I'll be working with him next week, and we'll do just fine together.