'The Great Mattress Maneuver"

Characters:
Father
Mother
Daniel
Joshua
Rebekah
Tiffany
Michael

Setting: The house, Sunday afternoon, 1:30. Father and Mother are on the road, traveling back from a weekend away.

Prologue
Daniel: Mother, I'm way too tall for a twin bed. I would like a full sized one.
Mother: Yes you are tall. However, you will not be able to get a full sized box spring upstairs to your room. Remember, our stairs has a 90 degree turn from the landing.
Daniel: I can do it!
Mother: No you can't. Please do not attempt this, it will result in failure.
Daniel: I can do it!

ACT 1
Scene 1
Daniel: It's a Sunday afternoon and I have nothing to do. I think I will buy a new full sized bed.
Joshua: OK! I can help!
Rebekah: Huh?
Scene 2
Daniel: Hi Michael and Tiffany! I'm going to buy a full size bed! Can you help carry it in?
Michael and Tiffany together in unison: We'd love to help!
Scene 3 (At the Furniture Store)
Tiffany: How much do you mark this stuff up?
Furniture store man: 25 to 75%.
Daniel: I'll take this one!

Act 2
Scene 1
Daniel: (Surveying back of pickup) Woo hoo! Look at this great new bed!
Rebekah: Can you get that up the stairs?
Daniel: It has a 5 year guarantee!
Tiffany: Can you get that up the stairs?
Joshua: It's got quilting!
Scene 2
Michael: (huffing and puffing) I don't think it's gonna go up.
Joshua: (huffing and puffing) No can do, man.
Daniel: (huffing and puffing) We MUST get this up the stairs!
Mother: (answering cell phone) Hello?
Rebekah: You should see what's going on here!
Mother: We're turning around and going back to Branson.
Scene 3
Daniel: It's not going up the stairs!
Tiffany and Rebekah: We told you so.
Joshua: It's a GREAT mattress.
Michael: I'm a fireman. I will come up with a plan. Do not worry.
ACT 3
Scene 1
Michael: So, if we can't get it up the stairs, we have to find another way INTO the room. Hmmm. Oh, look, a second story window! It goes right into the room!
Daniel: Here's a ladder!
Michael: Let's remove the entire window! From the house! The frame and all!
Tiffany and Rebekah: Are you CRAZY?
Joshua: What a great idea!
Daniel: I am too tall for a twin bed, you know.
Scene 2
Joshua: (pointing to window) So, how do we hoist the box spring up there?
Michael: Get a rope! Get them wimmen upstairs! Get ready to push!
Rebekah: Huh?
Tiffany: It's easy! We'll tie the rope around the box spring. The boys will push it up the ladder from the ground. We'll pull it from the upstairs opening where the window used to be and haul it inside! It'll be great!
Rebekah: Huh???????????
Scene 3
Tiffany and Rebekah: PUSH!
Michael, Daniel, and Joshua: WE ARE! You pull harder!!!
Scene 4
Rebekah: Look at this carpeting! You tracked in mud everywhere! Look at this! Clean it up!! Before mother gets here!
Mother: (answering cell phone) Hello?
Rebekah: Where you are?
Mother: I'm pulling in the driveway.
Rebekah: SHE'S PULLING IN THE DRIVEWAY!
Scene 5
Mother: Look! See mud and shoe tracks on carpeting!
Father: Look! See Michael hoisting the window back into opening!
Joshua: Look! See our problem solving skills in action!
Michael: Look! See how this window will just barely fit back in here!
Tiffany: Look! See what these Neanderthals did!
Rebekah: Look! See what these Neanderthals did!
Daniel: Look! I've got a new bed!

Postlude
Rebekah: (to Daniel and Joshua) Get in the car. Go to Dillons. Rent a "Rug Doctor". Get all the cleaning supplies. Bring it home. Clean up this mess on this carpeting. Return the rug doctor.
Daniel: Ok.
Joshua: Ok.
Mother: The mud is nearly gone. I am happier.
Father: The window is back in. The Cowboys will beat the Patriots. I am happier.

Note: Final score: Patriots 48 Cowboys 27
THE END.