Lots of things on my mind this evening. If I went to bed, most likely I would just toss and turn, so we'll try creating a boring blog post and see if that helps.
January has been a pressure cooker month for me at work. Lots of things to do, but not only that,
a couple of these tasks are not normal ordinary things, these are work duties which are unusual and not in the realm of what I consider par for the course. I can't write details of course, although I really want to. Let's just say that the situations I am facing this month are stressful and there's no way around it except to go through it - once I'm on the other side, it'll be back to whatever "normal" is for the kind of work I do. But how does one prepare oneself to walk through the fire? That indeed is the $50.00 question. I feel a little like tiny David facing big Goliath - if only I had his courage - the courage of a warrior, the heart of a lion, the persona of a - oh wait. David was a shepherd, and a young shepherd at that. What gave David the chutzpah to tackle Goliath was his unshakable confidence and faith in the LORD God, the LORD who he served, who he placed his trust in, who he unabashedly spoke about to Goliath saying, "This day, the LORD will deliver you, Goliath, into my hands..."
This is my 12th year doing this job. This year, above all others, has been the most difficult, the most stressful, the most unrelenting, the most pressure, the worst. Yes, the worst. There is no relief in sight until the end of May, and maybe not then. I feel like I have been trudging, one foot in front of the other each 10 hour work day. Tiredness of brain and body leaves me feeling unequipped, ill-prepared, nervous, and anxious.
David the boy. Goliath the giant. Confidence in the living God slays not only this giant but all the ones after this one, ones I'm sure I can't even imagine. It's not due to my superior slingshot abilities, oh no. It's a reminder that there is a strength that's not my own, fortitude that is founded in hope, and perseverance which comes in continuing to stand. I'll look back someday and read this post, and wonder what all this was about. In the meantime, I rest in God's ability to provide exactly what I need in these trying circumstances. Good night all.
