Reunion Observations

We just got back from a few days in Kentucky, where we shared a resort with other family members we don't get to see very often.  The weather was hot, the accomodations were so-so, but the time together was memorable.

Because the weather was hot, we weren't able to gather outside in groups to chat, so other than the hello hug and goodbye hug, I wasn't able to really visit with some the way I would have liked, and I missed that.  For example, my oldest brother lives in Michigan and the next oldest lives in Texas, so I may see them twice a year, but generally speaking, it's once a year or less.  At this reunion however, I would imagine I didn't chat with either one more than 15 minutes.  Other relatives attending probably got less than that.  I feel badly but am not sure what could have been done differently.

Our extended family has always been cohesive, strong, and supportive but this reunion was a little bumpier than some.  Some misunderstandings were apparent, some things were said, other things were NOT said, and overall, I walked away with an unsettled feeling.  I don't like conflict, but I can tell you that I learned a lot.  You know, we get comfortable viewing life through our perspective and in doing so, this comfort may trick us into the trap of thinking that others see things the same way we do.  The truth of the matter is, we are a widely diverse group who comes together once a year simply because we are connected to the Plank family in some way.  We are 6 siblings who share a biological and historical tie, and we bring with us our spouses, our children and their spouses and children, who, someday, will be gathering for their OWN reunions with their own children and grandchildren.  These are family ties which go back to my parents - John and Estella Plank - and soon, there will be more people in my extended family who never knew my parents than people who did know them.   


So, what this old dog learned from meeting with my extended family for these three somewhat troublesome days is this:  Don't ever take other people's perspectives for granted.  Don't ever assume that you know how someone else feels about something.  Learn what's important and what isn't and let go what isn't.  Learn to appreciate the diversity we have.