Judgment in Word and Picture

I'm the first to admit that I'm a person who finds humor in people watching.  I think people are generally funny and I enjoy observing others in humorous situations.  Ask my youngest son - as he grew up, we shared a lot of "Look at that guy!" moments.  One memorable "look at that guy" moment occurred as I was driving past the Broadway and Pawnee WalMart one day with him in the car and we saw a man walking north on Broadway clad in nothing but a pair of "tighty whiteys".   "LOOK at that guy!!" we both screeched as we went past him. 

 I'm also somewhat of a wordsmith, and, I've been told by some that I have a "dry" sense of humor - I actually looked that up on the "internets" because I wasn't sure what it meant.  I love the humor in the writings of Dave Barry, Garrison Keillor, and others.  I poke fun of people, and I expect it back - with 4 brothers, a sister, 3 kids, and numerous nieces and nephews, all who have advanced funny bones of their own, I can't help but be the end of someone's witty observations.  So I'm ok with that sort of thing.  However, a couple of things occurred recently which help bring me back to the reality that there is a line that should not be crossed.  In our extended family, we sort of know what that line is - we can zing someone but do it respectfully - and, speaking for myself, I may have gotten out of hand a time or two or three - and I do regret when that happens. 

You may be aware that there is a website up and running called "People of Riverfest" - similar to the "People of WalMart" website.  Someone walked around with a camera and took pictures of people at the River Festival which just concluded here in Wichita.  In some pictures the people looked like they were aware they were getting their pictures taken, and were posing, and other pictures were taken more stealthily, with people not aware their images were being captured.  I have been looking at this website the past several days, amazed and aghast at what people wear in public (or don't wear, as the case may be), and have found humor in "Look at that guy!" shots of people who you really wonder if they knew they looked like that before they left the house.  The captions accompanying the photos are sarcastic judgments about the person featured, and yes, I think some people dress like that for attention and to get noticed, ha ha.  However, I was brought up short by a photo - it's of a woman I know.  She is pictured with a caption which implies that she's not too bright in the way she talks.  I found myself oddly offended by this - that someone took it upon themselves to take her picture, then judge her based on what she looked like.  The difference is - I know her.  I've known her for years.  She's a nice person.  She is "needy" but she would not harm anyone, and she just lives life on her terms.  For that, she gets her picture on the internet with a sleazy caption and people commenting about her.  I don't know how I feel about that.  I think there's a hairline difference between posting pictures of and noting people who obviously want attention with how they are dressed (i.e., the two guys wearing nothing but Speedos, or, the woman wearing what looks like a shower curtain, or the drag queens), and posting pictures of people who are "different" but not attention seeking.  I dunno. 

And, in the other situation I found myself in, a person of the younger generation used this phrase "that's so gay" to comment on my son's facebook status this last week.  This person meant, as young people these days mean when they use this term, that my son was nerdy or stupid, or whatever, not necessarily "gay" because of his personal like for a certain kind of music.  You may be aware that that phrase "that's so gay" is commonly used today by mostly kids, teens and twenties, to describe something or somebody in derisive terms, much the same way we used to call people "squares".  I took exception to this person saying that, not because I was offended that she said he was gay, but I was offended that she applied that term to him in a derisive way - she meant that his choice of music was stupid.  A long facebook discussion ensued, with other people jumping in on the topic.  When all was said and done, I hope a couple of kids were enlightened by the offensiveness of this comment.  If I hear a kid say this at school, I call them on it. 

So once again, I am reminded to watch what I say, and temper that sarcastic humor just a bit.  Those people that are being made fun of on websites such as peopleofriverfest.com are somebody's mother, daughter, son, or father.  They are real people, with real feelings - and yes, some crave the attention and like the publicity - others don't deserve the judgment that comes when people make fun of the way they look, dress, or speak.