Saturday, February 17, 2007

This and That

I ended the week with an inservice on Friday. I sort of like them because I can wear jeans, chat with friends, and chill out, but by the end of the day, I'm pretty much done sitting on cold metal chairs and looking at powerpoints. Monday we're out for Prez Day, so...a three day weekend indeed is just what I need. (ha)

I'm in the weird situation of suddenly evaluating siblings. At one school I'm evaluating a set of twins AND their older brother, plus another set of two brothers, and I just completed evaluations with two brothers at the other school. The twins are interesting, as it looks like one may qualify for services and one won't. I have a friend who is a twin, and who is very successful as an adult in the education field, but his twin is another story. The twin is a low-functioning adult who just never quite grew up and became a responsible decision maker. Brings up that old nature-nurture question...but I'm not thinking about THAT on a Saturday morning.

The sun is shining today and we will experience some relief from the bitter cold and winds that have prevailed the last several days. The older I get the more problems I have keeping extremities warm. Once my feet get cold, baby, I'm in trouble. I've been wearing two pairs of socks (thanks sis for the wonderful socks you send me from the outlet store in Michigan) and my old athletic shoes which are ugly ugly, but keep the heat in. Once I get to school I change them, but my office at the one school is so danged cold I run a space heater-and I keep the ugly shoes on. Sorry, but I do!

Here's some thoughts to warm you. Think of:
*Summer picnics in the park with a gentle breeze blowing
*Watching a baseball/softball game at twilight
*Fireworks on the 4th
*The smell of BBQ grills, fired up and cooking hamburgers
*Combines in the field cutting wheat (can you tell I'm from Kansas?)
*The farmer's market with exhibitors selling produce
*Kites waving in the breeze

Now put another log on the fire and enjoy the day!

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Of handbaskets and fiddling

In the world of school psychology, you can go from feast to famine, from joy to sorrow, and from sanity to insanity often all on the same day. I always said I liked this job because every day is different, and that's very true, except, I wonder if my, um, age, is showing when I say that it's hard on an "older" brain to ride a roller coaster every day. I made this life change because I was stuck in a job I was never going to advance in-I had interviewed and subsequently been passed over for 2 promotions. Every day was the same and I finally realized that although I THOUGHT I had the ability to make my own decisions and work independently, the federal and state government, plus plenty of supervisors were always around to look over my shoulder. So, now I'm in the public schools. Did I ask for a wild ride? I think so.

This last week I visited with a student who was missing his dad. I was alerted that he was having problems, so I was able to pull him out of class to talk. He said his dad was in jail, and would be until 2024. We visited awhile and then, while I worked on paperwork in my office, he worked on math worksheets. He's now a buddy, as I gave him a roll of Smarties as he left. At home this weekend, I pulled up the public records on the department of corrections website, and learned that yes, his dad would be incarcerated until 2024. That the last time this student saw his dad probably would have been when he was 5 or 6. And that dad was a habitual sexual offender and truly rotten to the core. But this man fathered a son who misses him. Does he know that? This child needs a Big Brother. Or a mentor. Or a role model other than the million dollar athlete he idolizes. His single mom needs to be more aware of his needs, and more proactive in seeking help for him. But he's one of 5 kids, and she doesn't have the emotional stability it takes to put the needs of someone else, like your children, first. She's all about surviving until the next check, and whatever coping skills she has are focused on herself.

Here's part of the roller coaster: I prepared for 4 staffings last week. For 3 of them, parents did not show up. I have information about their kid that they don't know, and I'm ready to disseminate it, and no one's there. In working with another student, I've found mom to be defensive, hostile, and abusive to me and other school staff, particularly the child's teacher. That's because it's all someone else's problem. Her child's behavior is extreme because it's the teacher's fault. Whatever. I had another parent say that she wasn't concerned about her teenager's behavior because ____ (a well-known state facility for juvenile offenders) could straighten him out. WAKE UP PARENTS! Your child's education is going to hell in a handbasket. You are fiddling while Rome burns. You are zoned out, unplugged, and too busy to take care of your children's needs. And everybody is going to pay the price.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Take care of yourself

In one of the first staffings I did after starting internship this fall, I recommended no special ed placement for a child, based on my evaluation results. He certainly had problems, but he did not meet the criteria to be eligible for special education in Kansas. The team agreed, and we did not place. The guardian for this child did not agree, and decided to appeal our decision. My evaluation was then picked over with a 'fine-toothed' comb by a higher up supervisory downtown type person and I got a written report Friday on that person's findings. With fear and trembling I opened the envelope and read the report. It was a nicely worded critical look at my results-and it brought home to me the seriousness of what I do, and of how I must be able to back up any course of recommendation with proof from the assessment that I do. I cannot take shortcuts, I cannot "feel" like something is true without evidence, and I cannot recommend something without facts. The responsibility I have overwhelms me. Although there are other members of the child study team who are equally as important or more so than what I do, it seems that the entire course of decision making is determined by the assessment results that the school psychologist reports.

And yes, I missed two critical pieces of evidence that a more seasoned psych would have followed up on in this evaluation. I will have to go back and do some more testing and assessment of this young student, but as I wrote in a note to the higher up downtown person, I look at this as a great learning experience for me. I don't know that there's another new psych on internship here in Wichita (and there are 10 of us) who has had a case go to administative review and appeal. It's painful, but necessary for growth.

There are days that I think that I cannot do this job and it weighs upon me. There are other days that I love what I do - I enjoy meeting parents and most of all, I'm able to confidently present results at a meeting-I can actually contribute an answer to the mystery of why their kid is not succeeding in school. That makes it worthwhile to me. At a staffing last Thursday, a parent cried during the meeting. She was just grateful that we thoroughly took a look at her kid, and were able to help her figure out what to do next.

The job could be all consuming, so setting priorities in my own life is something I need to take a look at. I'm a caregiver, and operate in this role at school, in my family, and at church. But I'm going to become a worn out caregiver if I can't get a handle on taking care of me. Maybe that's why when I go to the Symphony with my youngest son, or recently with my brother, I sit there and soak the music up into every pore. I allow it to wash over me and permeate my brain. It is a gift of healing from the Musician who orchestrates this universe and I readily accept it. It's truly a God-given balm for the weary, worn, and bleeding soul.